Surgery for gender dysphoria(black transwoman)

hey everyone ,so basically I have always had a belief  that I would  never do any crowd funding . However ,recently I have concluded that I am reaching a point where I feel a lot of pressure that I sort of can’t really handle  it anymore . My name is Alexis ,I am a black transwoman in my twenties who lives in London . Growing up in Nigeria and Northern Ireland was very difficult especially as an obvious femme and queer person . From a very early age I knew I was meant to be born and develop physically as a girl , however it took me a while to figure out how I could actually go about helping myself . I hit male puberty at quite an early age and since then I have felt as though things deteriorated quickly for me . My body developed in ways that put me in so much pain , I can’t even describe to you . At the age of 18 , i was living in Northern Ireland at the time . I decided to transition  however I knew it would very unsafe for me cause my features were so masculine.You see my features developed quiet strong  very early in my life and so I knew that would be dangerous I had been previously been attacked a few times because I used to dress femininely . Northern Ireland was ( still is ) quite an ignorant place to grow up black and queer . I lived  a little bit part time for a few years , only dressing during the nighttimes in LGBTQ+ venues in Ireland and then Scotland where I felt reasonably safe . I knew I needed to invest in myself to try and look more like myself . It wasn’t until I was 22 that I did this .My brow bone was shaved and my nose straighten ( I paid for this all by myself ). I started hrt and was lucky enough to grow to a 34 C .I  am proud of what I have worked for , however the doctor hadn’t shaved my brow bone down completely and it still feels big . I still get harassment  and I just want the best chance to try and reduce that . The life expectancy of a transwoman of colour is around 34 and there are so many reasons for this . I still get clocked  ( noticed ) for being trans , which often worsen my feeling gender dysphoria . ( For those of you who don’t know gender dysphoria is the painful and uncomfortable feeling a trans person gets with the misalignment of secondary sex characteristics they develop from going through the wrong puberty , opposite to their gender identity ) . My gender dysphoria is very strong and still stresses me out on a daily basis . You see aesthetically I see my face as ok however this isn’t just about aesthetics this is about safety too with drained savings ( especially cause of lockdown ) and reduced work . I am now at a point where I do really need your help ! Even though I have lived full  time as a transwoman for a few years now . Even though I have worked to try feminise my features , I am exhausted and tired now . I just want to reduce my dysphoria , keep myself safe and get on with my life . I know many of you believe my face is aesthetically good but this is not about plain aesthetics , not in terms of attractive or unattractive . This is in terms of gender . My face still has masculine aspects to it including my brow bone which is still prominent and my jaw ,whilst this maybe fine for someone who is short . I feel that as 5ft 9 transwoman I need to work and try just a bit harder to feel comfortable and also to be safe . A lot of my gender dysphoria comes from my face  , But also my body too . Being on hormones for 5 years now has done only very little .  surgery includes : * facial feminisation includes Brow bone shaving , jaw reduction , nose reshaping ,hairline lowering . I don’t think people realise how this surgery could save and change my life ! I am exhausted constantly being on edge that I will be attacked again on the streets . Moving to London has made me feel a lot safer however I still feel at risk in certain scenarios and places . I am exhausted and just want to get on with my life . I appreciate anything !  PS. Yes I am aware their are a few people who think I don’t need this ! But please tell that to the people who have attacked or threatened to do so ! Even when I don’t speak . thank you !


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Alexis Meshida 
London, Greater London, United Kingdom
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