Hi! My name is Camille, but I usually go by Cam. This is my story:

Since I was little, I never really identified with girlhood and felt stuck between peoples expectations and my own feelings. As I developed, I went through many journeys of self-discovery and learned through my experiences, becoming familiar with all the different facets of my personhood. After years of trying to decipher what's up with me, after experiences that made me face my identity and years of sifting through this with various professionals and after what feels like lifetimes of exploration into different worlds, I have finally started to take steps towards living my life for me and actualizing my best self.

I identify as nonbinary, as in I don't feel heavily connected to either hyper masculinity or hyper feminity, although I made a solid attempt to live life as a cis woman for many years. I feel as though now that I am allowing myself the expressions that I had spent years trying to dampen and snuff out and fight off, I can finally breathe. I'm excited for the future for the first time....period.

My gender dysphoria manifests mainly in the way my chest is shaped - specifically the presence of breasts. I remember the first time I noticed them, it was when I was trying on clothes in a department store and my sister pointed out that I was budding. I hadn't noticed them before that moment. Before then, I had assumed I was a boy, and since then I have resented my chest.

This is a preocedure I have been considering for a long time, basically since I developed breasts. When I learned about breast reduction in middle school, it became a recurring thought that I considered frequently enough that in high school I expressed the desire to one get one. I was immediately shot down by my partner at the time, who told me not to because he "likes them." To be honest, that wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last time that I lived a certain way to please others around me. I spent a large part of my life trying to fit the mold that I assumed others wanted for me. It was painful, it was soul crushing.

Now that I have regained my mental and bodily autonomy, I decided that I want to live my own life and actualize my own being the way that I want to be. I have been on testosterone since the beginning of February 2020 and have been binding since 2019. Every time I remove my binder or if I see a bump through my binder, I feel the same discomfort that I felt that day in the dressing room and every day that I spent trying to fit into that old mold.

I finally have a consultation for top surgery on December 7th! Since I am a minimum wage worker and artist, already struggling to make ends meet, I decided to start crowd-sourcing for my upcoming surgery. The average chest masculinization procedure costs between $3,000-$10,000, usually averaging around $6,000. If you want to donate to my top surgery fund, I would be eternally grateful. Of course only donate if you want to and are financially able to. I don't want to put anyone out for this, I know how tight money can be.

I set my goal to $6,000 and if my surgery ends up costing less than that for some reason, the excess will be donated to the Okra Project.

Thanks for everything!