Tops off for top surgery

Hello friends! My name is Thomas/Shiloh and I am an afab transmasculine androgyne artist living in middle TN.

I will start off by saying I knew I was trans before I even knew what that was. I spent the beginning part of my life struggling to find out what the differences between the sexes were, as I was certain without a doubt that the doctor who had assisted in my birth misread what I was. Never once had I questioned anything about it, as I knew myself as male from day one. Only when I had hit puberty and started to develop breast tissue did I realize that something was horribly wrong.

I remember being so disappointed in myself. I thought I knew me better. In my mind, I had failed.

My discomfort only grew the more that my chest did. I wore big, heavy winter coats even in the southern summer heat, just so no one could see them. The dysphoria only mounted more when I hit a C cup. The feeling of nothing but eyes on me raised panic. Of course, it was the first comment anyone would make towards me, and they still do in fact. They have since have only gotten larger.

Right when I turned 18, I bought my very first compression binder. The problem is I am severely asthmatic, and the crushing vice of the binder only exasperated my condition. I wheeze and cough and struggle to breathe, but at least I feel more 'me'. I was flatter—not flat, but flatter—and that was better than nothing.

I struggle with my binder every time I squeeze it on, and while I've accepted that breathing isn't a given with it, the concerns of breast cancer worry me. Both my mother and grandmother had breast cancer. My mom got a double mastectomy when I was a child, and my grandmother passed away from the disease. The thought of this is always in the back of my mind. For those who don't know, compression binders increase breast cancer risk. Though I know that top surgery will not completely get rid of cancer risk, I do know that it will help lower it substantially.

Top surgery isn't just a want of mine; it is a need. To me, this would literally be saving my life. I want to fight for it.

Even though I've been trans my whole life, I only came out publicly in 2014. I've been on testosterone since 2022 and am ready to take the next step on the journey to becoming comfortable in my own skin.

Being red state trapped, it's been difficult for me to find trans affirming care. Resources and support for me and others like myself are scarce to practically non-existent and it has taken me a decade to get to where I am now. I am so thankful I was able to find a top surgeon in my state that is willing to move forward with me, but I cannot afford it on my own. I need help.

I've been out of work since February of 2024 and have been unable to find a job due to the simple fact that I am trans. I've been getting by thanks to the support of friends, family, and me working odd jobs and doing art commissions. At this rate I can stay stable, but never be able to afford the surgery which my validity will expire for in April. Meaning I'd have to re-apply, go through all of the red tape for again, and pay for it every step of the way. To say I am stressed is an understatement.

The total cost for the procedure would be $9,349.00. To account for taxes, medications, and aftercare I've set the fundraiser goal to $9,500.

Anything you can do, even if it's a dollar or just sharing, would mean the world to me. Thank you, for everything and more. <3