Top Surgery for Tehr
Donation protected
THE TOP SURGERY CHRONICLES
Welcome to the Top Surgery Chronicles, friendos!
In case you somehow missed it based on the name, I've chosen to pursue top surgery! For those of you not in the know, that's the full or partial removal of breast tissue to create a flat or smaller chest! Yes, I'm looking at a full removal and not a reduction!
Some of you are probably in a big "WHY?" right now. Well, here's why:
- Thoracic Outlet Syndrome is a group of disorders that occur when blood vessels or nerves in the space between your collarbone and your first rib (thoracic outlet) are compressed. This can cause pain in your shoulders and neck and numbness in your fingers.
I have it. What that means for me is living every day with varying levels of shooting pain and numbness through my neck, arms, and hands. There have been days it's so severe that I can't turn my head without pain. Some days my hands seize and I drop things. Physical therapy helps (yes, I've been seeing a doctor for a few years now) to mitigate the symptoms, but what actually helps is not wearing a bra as the pressure from the straps exacerbates the symptoms. With my career and lifestyle just NOT wearing a bra isn't an option. This has been going on for me since I was about twenty one. That's eight years of nearly constant pain and I'm ready to have it stop.
- Gender Dysphoria is a psychological condition which consists of discomfort and a disconnect with one's assigned sex, often accompanied by a strong desire to change one's sex to better match their identity or to be called the correct gendered language. It can manifest in both psychological and physical distress which can lead to the deterioration of one's health. It is the medical diagnosis of being transgender.
I'm not sure how to put into words what it feels like to not be the thing that people think you are when they look at you.
- Top dysphoria is a term most often used to describe someone's discomfort with their chest and upper body, such as transmasculine people feeling top dysphoria because of their breasts being too big/their shoulders being too slender, or transfeminine people feeling top dysphoria at their lack of breasts/masculine shoulders and arms.
How it feels for me is like my chest has never belonged on my body. Like an artist lovingly hand stretched a canvas, mixed their own oil paint from scratch, painted a masterpiece, and then some asshole came along and scribbled clown tits on it with crayon. I've spent the last sixteen years either ignoring them or containing them. If I wear the wrong bra to class and I feel them bouncing I get nauseous almost to the point of vomiting. Same thing when people comment on them; or I feel like the punchline of a disgusting joke.
I've spent the last three years of my fitness journey doing what's in my power to shrink my chest. I've made a lot of progress, but the facts are that there are minimum levels of healthy body fat for AFAB folk. It's unlikely I can achieve a chest I'll be comfortable with via fat loss alone, not while maintaining my health.
***
Surgery is expensive, as it turns out! Luckily my insurance offers coverage for transgender procedures once I can prove medical necessity, after I’ve paid my deductible. In the process of doing this now. In addition to that, because of the nature of being a fitness coach I’ll have to take possibly two entire months off from work while still managing to pay my rent and other necessities! All told, I’m probably looking at about $8,000. Still talking with my insurance so that number might go up/down.
I do not have a surgery date set yet, I'm trying to get out ahead of the financial aspect so I don't end up having to postpone once everything is approved! I do have a consultation with a surgeon on the 30th and I’m really excited!
So, this is the part where I ask for help!
If it speaks to you and you’d like to help support me in this goal, I’m requesting donations! Anything is appreciated and no amount is too small!
I've been having a lot of trouble writing this. It's close to my heart, and I'm not the greatest at being vulnerable or asking for help (okay, I suck at asking for help, but I’m doing my best at it.)
Thank you for taking the time to read this! Any level and kind of support that you can offer is honestly so incredibly appreciated, even if that’s just a Like, Share, or words of encouragement!
TLDR;
Raising $8,000 for Top Surgery (double mastectomy) because my chest causes me emotional and physical pain. If it speaks to you to help please donate here or checkout my facebook for more info!
I’m also going to be starting a top surgery specific facebook feed so if you’d like to be kept up to date on what’s happening please let me know so I can add you to the list!
Welcome to the Top Surgery Chronicles, friendos!
In case you somehow missed it based on the name, I've chosen to pursue top surgery! For those of you not in the know, that's the full or partial removal of breast tissue to create a flat or smaller chest! Yes, I'm looking at a full removal and not a reduction!
Some of you are probably in a big "WHY?" right now. Well, here's why:
- Thoracic Outlet Syndrome is a group of disorders that occur when blood vessels or nerves in the space between your collarbone and your first rib (thoracic outlet) are compressed. This can cause pain in your shoulders and neck and numbness in your fingers.
I have it. What that means for me is living every day with varying levels of shooting pain and numbness through my neck, arms, and hands. There have been days it's so severe that I can't turn my head without pain. Some days my hands seize and I drop things. Physical therapy helps (yes, I've been seeing a doctor for a few years now) to mitigate the symptoms, but what actually helps is not wearing a bra as the pressure from the straps exacerbates the symptoms. With my career and lifestyle just NOT wearing a bra isn't an option. This has been going on for me since I was about twenty one. That's eight years of nearly constant pain and I'm ready to have it stop.
- Gender Dysphoria is a psychological condition which consists of discomfort and a disconnect with one's assigned sex, often accompanied by a strong desire to change one's sex to better match their identity or to be called the correct gendered language. It can manifest in both psychological and physical distress which can lead to the deterioration of one's health. It is the medical diagnosis of being transgender.
I'm not sure how to put into words what it feels like to not be the thing that people think you are when they look at you.
- Top dysphoria is a term most often used to describe someone's discomfort with their chest and upper body, such as transmasculine people feeling top dysphoria because of their breasts being too big/their shoulders being too slender, or transfeminine people feeling top dysphoria at their lack of breasts/masculine shoulders and arms.
How it feels for me is like my chest has never belonged on my body. Like an artist lovingly hand stretched a canvas, mixed their own oil paint from scratch, painted a masterpiece, and then some asshole came along and scribbled clown tits on it with crayon. I've spent the last sixteen years either ignoring them or containing them. If I wear the wrong bra to class and I feel them bouncing I get nauseous almost to the point of vomiting. Same thing when people comment on them; or I feel like the punchline of a disgusting joke.
I've spent the last three years of my fitness journey doing what's in my power to shrink my chest. I've made a lot of progress, but the facts are that there are minimum levels of healthy body fat for AFAB folk. It's unlikely I can achieve a chest I'll be comfortable with via fat loss alone, not while maintaining my health.
***
Surgery is expensive, as it turns out! Luckily my insurance offers coverage for transgender procedures once I can prove medical necessity, after I’ve paid my deductible. In the process of doing this now. In addition to that, because of the nature of being a fitness coach I’ll have to take possibly two entire months off from work while still managing to pay my rent and other necessities! All told, I’m probably looking at about $8,000. Still talking with my insurance so that number might go up/down.
I do not have a surgery date set yet, I'm trying to get out ahead of the financial aspect so I don't end up having to postpone once everything is approved! I do have a consultation with a surgeon on the 30th and I’m really excited!
So, this is the part where I ask for help!
If it speaks to you and you’d like to help support me in this goal, I’m requesting donations! Anything is appreciated and no amount is too small!
I've been having a lot of trouble writing this. It's close to my heart, and I'm not the greatest at being vulnerable or asking for help (okay, I suck at asking for help, but I’m doing my best at it.)
Thank you for taking the time to read this! Any level and kind of support that you can offer is honestly so incredibly appreciated, even if that’s just a Like, Share, or words of encouragement!
TLDR;
Raising $8,000 for Top Surgery (double mastectomy) because my chest causes me emotional and physical pain. If it speaks to you to help please donate here or checkout my facebook for more info!
I’m also going to be starting a top surgery specific facebook feed so if you’d like to be kept up to date on what’s happening please let me know so I can add you to the list!
Organizer
Tehr Holstra
Organizer
Seattle, WA