Emerson’s Top Surgery

Hi y’all - in case we haven’t met, my name is Emerson. I’m a queer trans man living in the Columbus, OH area. I'm a happy cat dad and LGBT-affirming therapist. I want to share my story about why top surgery (removal of breast tissue and creation of a masculine appearance of the chest) is important to me.

I’m a transgender man. In my [Not Your Typical] Trans 101 training that I developed, I describe how the word “transgender” is an adjective. It describes what kind of man I am. Early in my transition, I sometimes felt ashamed that the word “trans” came before the word “man.” I was afraid that I would never pass as a cisgender man. I was angry, sad, and devastated that this journey of transition brought up feelings of doubt and pain - seemingly without an end to the pain of becoming.

But in the midst of my early months on testosterone when I still heard "ma'am" and "she" daily, I had a friend tell me, through tears, that he wants to be the kind of man I am. It has been a long road of understanding how to truly embrace my trans identity; how to be proud of the kind of man I am. 

One way of embracing my trans identity is honoring my feelings towards my body. I experience discomfort on a day-to-day basis about my chest. A fancy term for this is "gender dysphoria." Gender dysphoria can mean a lot of different things to different trans folks, and for some, this term does not explain their experience.

However, I don't want gender dysphoria to be my entire story. I want to magnify the extreme importance of gender euphoria. What made me feel most confident in the authenticity of my identity as a trans man was NOT the sitting in the depths of how uncomfortable I am in my sex assigned at birth and the body characteristics that go along with that. But rather, it is the embrace of how much more joy, vivacity, and hope I feel in my bones living and identifying as a trans man. 

This is ultimately why top surgery is imperative to me. It is the next step in the alignment of my identity to feeling at home in my own body.

The unfortunate reality is that, like countless other trans folks, my health insurance has an exclusion for coverage of gender-affirming surgeries. The health insurance industry often designates these surgeries as "cosmetic" without realizing the medical necessity, and life-or-death stakes, of these procedures. I am seeking help in raising money to obtain the necessary financial resources needed to get top surgery.

My personal and professional passion is to empower queer and trans folks to embrace their authentic selves through my work as an LGBT-affirming therapist. I want to continue to help queer and trans folks find an honor their truth. I also need to honor and pursue mine. 

Love always,
Emerson