Time to fight, time to heal from tongue cancer

Last year I realized I had a small sore on my lower tongue area that didn’t heal quite right. At first it came from me biting my tongue I assumed. I checked with my doctor and did the normal things people do, it healed a bit but never quite went away. Like many people my age, we are busy, so the mild annoyance went ignored for more pressing matters, around Fall time 2018 the mild annoyance became more of a steady pain that required concern so I seeked more serious medical attention. Went to a local hospital and was sent around to numerous doctors, ENT’s, oral surgeons, Orthomedical specialist, put on a battery of antibiotics; screened for every disease on the planet and every step of the way I kept saying “what if it’s cancer?” Every time I talked to a professional medical person in front of me saying these words their answer always was “no it can’t be, you’re too young, you haven’t lived long enough to have THAT type of cancer”. I was very transparent about my lifestyle choices and probably to my own fault I disclosed so much because it made doctors reach for other answers that just simply weren’t true. After 4 long months of diagnosis, finally in the hands of Emory hospital I was told the truth. “You have cancer” words that echoed down my bones harder than any will ever, a diagnosis I KNEW in my heart long before I heard in my ears. Also confirmed to me the same week I found out I am gonna be a dad...what a way to kick off 2019. 

So cancer, tongue cancer, stage 3, in their terms stage 4 according to the rule book, since a few of my Lymph nodes in my neck showed possible contamination, surgery, crazy serious surgery, they want to cut out almost 1/2 of my tongue, and take a piece of my arm and build my tongue back. Called a bi-lateral glossectomy. 

They tell me that “people my age don’t get this often”. It’s rare, not because of smoking or drinking or living crazy (although they always say that if I had never done anything my chances would be less) they say because it’s genetics (they were right) a bit of family research and it seems my gg-grandfather on my mother’s side was claimed by this disease back in the day...damn. Wish I would have known, I would have cut the small sore out of my own mouth months ago...now, 10 months later. The tumor is 3 cm wide and deep, pushing against the nerve bundle in my mouth.

”Mr. Martinez, you are young, strong, and you have a better chance of being cancer free than most people we see come in with this disease in 5 years. We don’t talk survival rates with people like you, the statistics don’t apply, but we have to be aggressive, you will never talk the same, you will never eat the same, you will never look the same, but you will be close, you will heal, if you allow yourself. 

May 5th was my surgery booked date. I was ready for the battle. I planned my next month to get myself, my home, my wife and coming child, my mind and soul ready for this fight, 1 week into prep for the struggle I get a phone call: “Mr. Martinez there has been a cancellation, we can perform your operation April 8th instead of May 5th but you have 2 hours to decide or we move onto the next candidate. I was on the top of the waiting list, most likely to not die, I sat down with my family sand said can we do this? Can we hold this shit together without the month to get it together before I go under? We agreed the opportunity was worth any risk. I said ok.

April 8th I went under and they cut me from ear to ear, elbow to wrist and vocal cord to front tooth. I survived the surgery and am improving everyday. I can speak, sorta, I sound like I have a mouth full of marbles but it’s getting better and im expected to still be able to annoy my friends and maybe drop a hot ass hip hop album of my own one day (hell m, 50 took a bullet to the mouth and Kanye broke out because he couldn’t use his mouth and wrote a rap song about it). I can eat kinda, learning to enjoy food again but still get 1/2 my nutrition from a tube but that’s changing and will hopefully end before May is over. 

Out of 80 lymph nodes they proactively removed to be sure, only 4 showed contamination. An excellent ratio, and they were able to remove at good margin the entire tumor. Since it had touched my nerves in the base of my tongue I will likely have to face radiation and chemo but the goal is first cancer free CAT scan before Christmas, and after 5 years of healthy living, wise choices and blessed steps I may be able to call myself a survivor. 

What I need right now is time. I planned a month to prepare for all of this. Time I planned to work, do things, prepare. The news of early surgery was a gift and a curse, It gave me a better chance to survive but took from me valuable time I needed to get things ready. Financially my bills for the most part are paid, my medical insurance thankfully is taking the brunt of the costs for the treatments, however what I didn’t budget for is the need to finish some things in preparation for me having time off, a lot of time off. It will be months before I can work really again, and with a baby on the way to boot. I don’t like asking for things. I hate being a beggar, so I will trade studio time, my skills as I can apply them as strength returns to me, I’ll babysit your kids or dogs, I’ll do what I can, to make it. If it’s in your hearts to buy me time. I need it. If I’ve ever helped your life, help mine now. I will fight, with or without your help. I will win, because I have to. However, I simply ask, if you can, make it easier for me and my family to make it though this so I can stay focused on returning to the ME I know and you love.

All monies raised for this will go directly into preparing and improving my home for my healing, my survival and my preparations for being a father. Once I beat this I was already planning on donating my studio to free hip hop recordings, I will start a proper organization to put this concept into caste so future generations can be aware of this disease. If there be any surplus donations. 90% of surplus will go into creating this organization and 10% into expanding the studio that it will utilize.