Tiffanys Survival with Metastatic Breast Cancer

 

My beautiful daughter Tiffany, was diagnosed with De Novo Metastatic Breast Cancer ( Stage 4) on July 23, 2021. Terminal, incurable, fatal. As anyone can imagine, we were devastated and heartbroken to hear those words. Nothing in life could have prepared us for this, and all that would soon follow.  

Tiffany and Corey have been married for almost 16 years, together since high-school. They have 2 amazing kids, Nicholas and Kendall, my grandchildren. Tiffany has always been a strong, independent, hardworking woman. She has always strived to do the absolute best to ensure her kids are happy, healthy and secure. She needs the support and love of everyone who knows and loves her to continue fighting for herself and her family. 

 

In May of 2020, my daughter went for a routine visit to her GYN. She let him know she sometimes feels a small lump in her breast. He performed a manual breast exam, and told her he didn’t feel anything. He then told her she was only 34 and too young to worry. That statement started his tragic choice to dismiss her concerns. He went on to say it could've been a clogged milk duct that resolved on its own, a swollen gland due to hormones, or fatty deposits/tissue. He didn’t seem concerned at all, and didn’t think a mammogram was necessary. She didn’t think to question him, and felt relieved and confident in his explanation After all, she trusted him to deliver her two children, so why wouldn’t she trust him now? After leaving his office that day, she didn't think twice about the lump.

 

Within the next few months, the lump in her breast was growing. She could feel it without having to search for it. She felt a bit of concern, but remembering what her doctor said, she put it out of her mind. Due to lack of insurance, the need to work, and a billion other reasons, she continued to ignore it. This was all happening during the pandemic, which had my daughter working two jobs to help support her family. Sadly, the cancer was growing stronger and spreading. 

 

March of 2021, my daughter began to suffer from leg pain. She figured it was just aches and pains from working and being on her feet all day. She tried a few ointments and took ibuprofen and hoped for the best. Nothing seemed to be working, but still, she never thought it was more than a pulled muscle. As time went on, the pain became unbearable and she was unable to stand on it. Yet, she never in a million years would have attributed leg pain to the lump in her breast.

 

When the pain became excruciating, Tiff and Corey decided to go to the ER on Saturday, July 23, 2021. Following the doctor's examination, Corey suggested she tell the Doctor about the lump in her breast. The doctor stopped everything, and the situation became considerably more serious. Within one hour, we had a preliminary diagnosis. It was breast cancer, and it was advanced. There were tumors spread throughout her spinal column, as well as her femur, hip, pelvis, shoulder and ribs. This was the reason for the unbearable, agonizing pain she had been experiencing. 

 

I was at work when I received her call. I will never forget this phone call, her words, the sound of her voice, it will stick with me for the rest of my life. I have no recollection of leaving work or driving to the hospital. I just recall being there, with her, near her, my mind screaming, my heart shattering. This had to be a mistake. There is no way my baby has cancer, they are wrong, the tests were wrong. I refused to believe what I was being told. 

 

Then, one particular nurse looked into my eyes in a way that I will never, ever forget. She wasn’t a nurse at that moment, she was a mother. I can remember feeling her empathy, pain, and sorrow as she spoke to me. She held my hand and assured me it was cancer and it was advanced, it was seen on all the scans. 

 

A few days later, she had a biopsy. The official diagnosis was confirmed by her surgeon as Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer, ER/PR+and HER2+; “Triple Positive”. This is one of the most aggressive types of breast cancer, diagnosed in only 10% of all cases. Tumors of this sub-type grow and spread faster than other breast cancer types. We knew there was no time to wait, we had to get her into treatment as soon as possible. The cancer was spreading fast, we had to slow it down, shrink it and stop it from spreading into her organs. The oncologist told us there is no cure, she has terminal cancer. She will be in treatment for the rest of her life. But because of all the new treatment options for her cancer type, some women are surviving for many years and are able to live a somewhat normal life. After getting a second opinion, she made her choice and started treatment within the week. 

 

Her current and future treatments come at a very high price. Many not fully covered by insurance, some aren’t covered at all. My daughter will need treatment for the rest of her life. Her treatments will always include IV or oral chemotherapy, HER2 Targeted Therapy, Hormonal Therapy, Bone treatment, and medication to suppress her ovaries. Eventually, she will have a hysterectomy, but for now she is in medically induced menopause. She had 10 rounds of radiation in September, which caused damage to her stomach and intestines. She suffers from colitis, a hiatal hernia and chronic gastritis. Recently, she was diagnosed with gastroparesis, which is a chronic condition that greatly effects her quality of life. Down the road, there will be more radiation, more chemo, more therapy, medications, side-effects, hospitalizations, illnesses, surgeries, and eventually, clinical trials. This is a life-long mission of survival, an endless battle that my daughter will have to fight for the rest of her life. 

 

Every day, she lives with this vicious, brutal and complex disease. Every day she will live with the uncertainty and fear of terminal cancer. The fear of progression, the fear of the cancer becoming resistant to treatment, fear of the toxicity of treatment, fear of pain, the fear of suffering. However, her greatest fear, the one she can not cope with, is the fear of dying and leaving her children without a mother. Wondering if she will be here as they grow up. Wondering if she will be here for holidays, birthdays and the other milestones and special days. She fears not being there to give her daughter the advice only a mother can give. She fears not dancing with her son at his wedding, or holding her first grandchild. This is what my daughter thinks about every day. In less than a year, this disease has taken so much from her. It has stolen her dreams and goals for the future. She is traumatized. She is being forced to accept the unacceptable. 

 

Tiffany is the strongest and bravest person I have ever known and has faced each setback with grace, determination, and strength. I have watched her endure horrendous and debilitating side-effects from chemo, burns and internal damage from radiation, agonizing pain from the cancer eating away at her bones, countless hospitalizations, invasive tests and painful treatments. She will do whatever it takes to be here for her kids, they are the driving force behind her motivation. 

 

But the crippling financial burden of this disease has become overwhelming. In just 9 months, my daughter and Corey are in deep financial debt, and there is absolutely no end in sight. They have exhausted every dollar of savings they both worked so hard for. Their dream of owning their own home is a distant memory. They are both being crushed under this unbearable weight. The financial toxicity of this cancer is catastrophic. It is negatively affecting Tiffanys quality of life. The stress, guilt and worrying is constant. I fear that my daughter will allow herself to give up in order to take this burden off of her family. She fears the only legacy she will leave her family is that of financial ruin. Can you imagine having terminal cancer and feeling responsible for the outrageous, insane cost of cancer care? It’s unthinkable that a person who’s only concern should be to live, is instead distressed and sick with worry over finances. Imagine being in my daughters shoes for just a moment. A mother having to chose between life-saving treatment and medicine, or providing her children with the most basic of needs.

 

I am graciously pleading with all of you to donate to my daughter's fundraiser. Her life greatly and truly depends on it. She will not survive without treatment or, subpar care. Tiffany deserves to have every possible chance to survive. There are many new treatments that are changing the overall survival rates for MBC, and I want my daughter to always be financially ready if and when those treatments become an option for her. 

All donations will go toward current and future medical expenses, treatments, doctors, specialists, testing, scans, as well as deductibles, co-pays, and the many out-of-pocket expenses that insurance does not cover. If something suddenly changes, or a special need arises ( ex: a new treatment, a clinical trial ) I want her to have the necessary finances to make the best decisions regarding her care. When money becomes the deciding factor, it can truly mean a life or death decision for my daughter. 

Since Tiffany is unable to work, they are trying to get by on one income. They are having difficulty keeping up with the normal expenses of raising children and running a household, as well as trying desperately to save money to move into a suitable home where everyone has their own room, space to find peace, quiet and joy.

 

Please consider helping my daughter if you are able to. Tiffany needs to have peace of mind in order to stay strong while she lives with this disease and continues to face the many obstacles it brings along the way. I want her to focus on being with her family, making beautiful memories together, and raising her children. I want my daughter to live! 

 

Your love and support are greatly appreciated. If a monetary donation isn’t possible for you at this time, please take a few seconds to share my daughter's fundraiser.