This time it’s for Abbi

Hey all! Courtney, here. This time it’s for Abbi. She’s been so much to so many - friend, sister, daughter, mom, writer, business woman, and mentor. And now after everything she’s given and all the love she’s shown, it’s time we give back. Abbi can explain it far more eloquently than I ever could so I have I included her post below, but the nutshell version is we need to raise money to help her through her surgery and recovery that will be quite lengthy.

“Well it looks like the time has come to tell my story. I’ve kept it to my parents and kids and innermost circle for a month, but now it seems to be leaking out so I want to tell you in my own words the battle I am facing.

At the beginning of August I went to meet with the surgeon about what I thought was going to be an elective surgery to remove part of my colon and hopefully get ahead of the diverticulitis pain that I’ve had for over 20 years. I intended to hear him out, and then put it off at least another year. A bowel rupture in February, double pneumonia in June and 8 kidney stones in July has prohibited me from my normal work schedule and left me financially embarrassed, and the idea of taking 3 months off work was impossible.

Sadly, the situation is now beyond my control. And you all know how that makes me feel. What has happened is that with over 20 ruptures over the years, my bowel is occluding, or closing itself off, and if it does that I will not survive. The bowel should have a diameter similar to a bratwurst, but mine is now smaller than a straw and if I don’t have it removed, both doctors I have seen agree that the condition would be fatal before the new year. I was not prepared in any way for this news, and I have to admit that I have not taken it well. My parents and kids are terrified for me, but also hopeful and confident in my ability to overcome most of the odds life has handed me thus far. I fluctuate between the deepest depression I’ve ever experienced, and a near manic need to clear out the detritus of my 53 years, and then dread over the whole process and finally peace when I hear how determined my parents are that I will make it through this.

I’m losing too much weight because I can’t eat anything with fiber, existing on supplements provided by my parents and small amounts of yogurt and chicken and fish (no more than 1/2 cup every 5 hours at most) So while I know there are a lot of you who want to bring me food, I ask that you save that until my surgery, to provide for my caregivers and Miss Annalee.

When my husband died 4 years ago, the hospital graciously wrote off a truly enormous bill, which saved me at the time, but now has left me as a ‘payment risk’ so they are asking me to pay a staggering sum before the surgery. I’ve spent all my savings on the medical things that have happened so far this year, and I’ve missed months of work so far, so I am left with literally no idea how I’m going to pull this off. There will be a gofundme started in the next few weeks as soon as the hospital gives me an exact number, and I’ve already had a few close friends rally to keep me in groceries and school clothes for Annalee. It’s incredibly hard for me to ask for and accept help, so much easier to raise money for other people. But now I have to swallow the little pride I have left and figure out how to stay alive to raise my littlest girl and hopefully see some grandkids one day. The idea of my kids losing both their parents is too horrible to consider, so I’m going to do what I have to do. I’m selling my grandfathers guns, I’m likely going to ignore my debt and file bankruptcy, and I’m trying to find work I can do from home until at least next February when I will try to revive my photography business that has provided for us for 25 years.

So many of you have asked what I need, and I know everyone is in financial terror in today’s economy so I hate to ask. If I have to, and I do, then I would ask that folks who can help in my yard and house in case the house has to be sold, maybe a few work days for the Grateful Brigade, perhaps a meal train for my caregivers while I’m in the hospital and off my feet for several months. Maybe some play dates for my littlest girl. Anything that I can do from home to earn some money, I am game. I am still able to work some until October 18th, and as long as there are small blooms on the money tree, I will get my butt out there to harvest them.

This is all so overwhelming. I’m sorry to dump it all on you, but as of today my phone has been blowing up with folks only getting part of the story, and as always, I am nothing if not transparent about the joys and despair of life. My friends have always been the heart that pushes the blood through my body, and now more than ever I need all of you, mostly for the good energy, and I’ve learned that people want to help if someone can tell them how. I hope this note can help with that. I just need my people. I intend to fight with everything I have, I’m not done yet.

I love you guys. Pray if you will, come visit if you can, and know that if there is way through, I will find it.

Thank you in advance for helping me, I will do everything in my power to be worthy of the sacrifices.”

So there you have it. Our girl needs us. My hope is that the many different worlds Abbi is a part of - her longtime friends, her music phamily, her business contacts and all the misfits she has taken in over the years - that all of us can show her how loved she is and lighten her load. Thank you!