One of the unfortunate aspects of navigating in my particular business (being in the film/entertainment business, even as just a writer/journalist) is that you have to put on airs--not necessarily to look successful or better, but the only way anyone will pay any attention or give you any mind is to have that appearance of security. Honestly confess how things aren't going well, and that you do sincerely need help, and suddenly the audience turns a blind eye and deaf ear, both those who know me and my work who are well off and successful and all other points below. And I realize with this, I'm probably shutting off the senses of many more than I already have...
When my father passed away from cancer in December 2006, he left behind a legacy of debt, not only in the financial sense. I made the necessary cutbacks to my every day (not for nothing have people noticed my weight loss--definitely a product of a largely 1 ramen packet a day "diet"), as I then shouldered all the expenses from the utilities, what limited food budget there is, the debt legacy, and the home property taxes. The strain I was and am going through is not merely financially but psychologically. Long story short, going on 12 years since my dad's passing, I've managed to somehow sustain on what I make through the site and the steady side gigs (some of which have come and gone) and chipping away at the debts, but as lean times endure, sometimes you have to either put things to the side or not make the minimum payments as some basic survival expenses (i.e., electricity and water, plus the monthly transit pass and the web hosting to keep my bread and butter functioning to keep at least some income coming) take basic precedence. But eventually things come back to bite you and the chickens come home to roost, etc., etc. ... and so I get a notice that I need to come up with back property taxes by October or else the process of the county auctioning the house will take place in December. Factoring in the utility/Internet/transit expenses (food, as usual, becomes a luxury to be sacrificed)... I need this boost to help me make the payment, which will put me back on course to make all future ones, I feel like the (no pun intended) the walls are closing in and caving in on me once and for all, and frankly not only feel as if I can't make it out this time, by the middle of October, I'm about to give in and completely give up and stop taking up space away from those who can function.
So, that all said... any help is greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
Michael Dequina is the creator/publisher/sole writer of The Movie Report / Film Flam Flummox, which has has been offering regular film/video/DVD/television/stage reviews, news, interviews, and event coverage since 1995. Every little bit is greatly appreciated and truly does make a difference, so please donate today and spread the word.
- Ava DuVernay
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