The Tomasello family medical and funeral bills

Hello friends and family,

My name is Bobbie Lynne Ward. For those of you who do not know me, I am a long time friend of Tom and Kathee Tomasello. I am writing this Go Fund Me, to benefit my friend and fellow musician, Tom Tomasello, as he is now a widow.

I have never written a Go Fund Me before, but as you will see….this one is so needed. The story you are about to read, is almost hard to believe, as it almost seems just too sad to be true! I just ask you to read on.

Tom and Kathee Tomasello, were married on May 18th 1980, and had been blessed with 3 children! Son Ryan, daughter Erin (a preemie who passed several weeks after her birth), a son Rory and a Foster daughter, Roslyn, whom they loved like their boys.

In November of 2009, Rory was struck by a car, as he walked his bike across an intersection in Morgan Hill, Ca. He survived for 2 1/2 weeks, at Valley Medical Center, and then passed away.

In December of 2010, after grieving for her son for over a year, Kathy Tomasello had a massive stroke. This left Kathy in a wheelchair, unable to speak, or care for herself, in any way. Tom, her husband, became her full time caregiver, while he also tried to work and provide for the family. This meant all the cooking, cleaning, bills, doctor visits, bathing, shopping, feeding and everything it takes to run a household, while taking care of the love of his life. Tom did all of this, while working full time as a musician, playing weekend gigs and on salary at Cathedral of Faith church, as a arranger and conductor.

In the last 11 1/2 years, Kathee has been in and out of the hospital, so many times, that the medical bills became astronomical. Sometimes for weeks, once up to 6 month, before she could come home. Many, where she would stay for days..then out again, only to go back in days later. The back and forth to the hospital, was beyond bearable for Tom and his family. Still, Tom never left Kathee’s side. No matter how long his day was, Tom somehow found the time, to get to Santa Teresa Kaiser, to see Kathee, even if she was unable to respond! At her best, Kathee could respond with a Ya or No. Tom had to help her communicate in every situation! The love he had for his wife was beautiful to see. They were soul mates, best friends and the love’s of each other’s lives. He gave every ounce of energy he had….loyal, tender and loving.

In February of this year, Kathee started taking a turn for the worse. She was sleeping all the time and going in and out of the hospital. Infections were invading her body, as Tom tried to help her fight.

On May 15th 2022, just three days short of their 42 Wedding Anniversary, Kathee Tomasello, passed away, after some 9 weeks in the hospital.

I am asking for whatever donation you can afford, as any donation, will be well used. Tom could really use all the help he can get, as the hospital and medical bills have been non stop, for the past 11 1/2 years.

Below is an abbreviated timeline of Kathee’s journey. I ask you to read it, to fully understand what she and Tom went through.

Thank you for reading this, and thank you for your donation. I know whatever can be given, will help Tom step forward into his new life, without his precious wife Kathee.

Thank you, Bobbie Ward.

Kathee Tomasello-Health Journey The Stroke Years

• November 2019-Our youngest son, Rory, died crossing a mid block crosswalk. All cars stopped except one.

• December 2010-Kathee suffers a major stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain. This resulted in a severe debilitation of her right side extremities, and expressive aphasia. She was unable to walk or communicate her thoughts in speech or in writing, The doctors specified a blockage in the brain brought on by chronic high blood pressure. But, Rory’s passing affected her severely and may have been a contributing factor.

• 2011-Kathee adapted to her stroke life in the early years post stroke. She would work on her speech therapy and exercise her weakened right side limbs. She was even able to do some limited walking with the aid of a quad cane.

• January 2013-Kathee was hospitalized for six months. She went through a series of escalating problems. She suffered a seizure that caused her to aspirate and contract pneumonia. Eventually she went into a coma lasting ten days. Coming out of the coma the doctors finally discovered that she had a blockage in her intestines. This resulted in a risky surgery (the doctor said that in terms of fitness for surgery-if a high school athlete is a 10, than Kathee is a 1). She survived the surgery and had to wear a colostomy bag, ostensibly for the rest of her life. That is, unless she could walk into the doctors office on her own in 6 months.

• December 2013-Kathee actually walks into the doctors office with the use of her quad cane. The astonished doctor set a date to take down the colostomy that very day. She was a fighter.

• 2016-1019-Kathee went through periodic hospital stays for chronic UTI infections. Some of those hospital stays warranted the need to spend time at a skilled nursing facility.

• 2019-Kathee was diagnosed with a narrowing esophagus condition. This necessitated a series of endoscopies in order to dilate her esophagus. This procedure became a monthly ritual toward the end of the year.

• 2021-Kathee’s appetite began to diminish. She began losing a lot of weight. By the end of the year she had gone from 140 lbs down to 94 lbs.

• Late February 2022-Kathee began a series of four hospital stays for various problems. She had another bout of pneumonia, A UTI, A serious drop in her hemoglobin resulting in several

blood transfusions, severe edema, a nasty infection called C-Diff and congestive heart failure. It was later determined that she was severally undernourished and that led to a lot of these problems. It turned out to be a cyclical thing. She didn’t eat because she felt full and she felt full because the edema was causing her stomach and intestines to swell which caused the feeling of being full after only three small bites of food.

• May 2022-Kathee was finally tired of the fight that she had so engaged in since her stroke. She began asking for “help”. We finally determined that she wanted to stop fighting and be allowed

to go to her Heavenly home. All of the tubes and breathing apparatus were removed, medications to give her comfort were administered and, with final kisses I heard Kathee say “I love you” before she fell into a drug induced sleep.

• May 15, 2022 4:16 p.m.-Kathee breathes her final breath and finally gets the “help” that she had requested a few days ago. She is now at peace with her Heavenly father along with our son and all the other loved ones that have gone on before