y'all, I have an *urgent* here ask from your favorite semi-pro stand-up comedian (...or, perhaps more accurately, “fall-risk comedian”):

I need to pay my past-due rent, utilities, and late fees by April 22nd

I owe ~$1400 total... but i'm scraping it together

…if i can't get it in on time, my lease will be canceled and I’ll receive an eviction court-date

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If I can’t raise that money and they DO evict me?

I’ll continue to fight–as I always do when this world has me cornered: I absolutely–and quite stubbornly–INSIST on holding on to my life, livelihood, and this little studio apartment that I love so dearly. Also, my kittens have never been homeless before and I want to spare them that experience.

The three of us (me, Bishop, and Ellie) are resilient and resourceful, so I don’t want my friends to be panicked regarding our situation

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in better news, I have three sources of long-term support in the works:

(1) my federal SSDI appeal is being handled by a badass lawyer and things are moving forward smoothly (and everybody who has seen my social security documents and the appeal itself say it’s an *extremely* strong case)

(2) my state/county application for the General Assistance Program is moving into the determination stage soon, and that will fully support me for any additional SSDI wait-times

(3) I have an application in with a RAP (Rent Assistance Program) through a reliable non-profit that would pay for 70% of my bills for the foreseeable future–until disability support kicks in. I’m told I’m “a very good fit” for the program, and I got the application submitted early enough that I am first in line for an opening in their system

(4) Okay, I said three, but here’s a bonus 4th: a different local charity has offered to pay for next month. It can’t happen BEFORE mid-May, but any additional future security is always good!!

So, yay, good things are coming!

(I just need to stay alive and housed for another few months…)

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Another little update:

On Tuesday, I underwent a routine procedure: blepharoplasty (upper-eyelid) surgery… which is a minor surgery I’ve needed for about 15 years. I’m so excited to finally have it done. It will help with my field of vision and–hopefully–look good, too. Considering my overall circumstances, it’s not a *great* time to be recovering from a medical procedure on my eyes… but it’s the last surgery I’ve wanted–and I got it before the fascists take away our health care!

I’m in a ton of pain at the moment (from the surgery but also my chronic pain has intensified by magnitudes–as have the cognitive-impairments caused by TBI & dementia…. and my heat-sensitivity & dysautonomia is an everyday battle to prevent (or regulate) episodes of spiking blood pressure, pulse, and internal temperature. I have been banging on doors for long enough that–with the help of some recent, more precise, diagnoses–I am FINALLY getting started with otherwise hard-to-access specialists

The last couple of years have been profoundly challenging… and I have experienced personal losses that I can’t begin to describe in this post. But I have never been in such overwhelming pain, intense grieving & mourning, and–on a daily basis–I am fighting to overcome depression, anxiety, and (newly-acquired) agoraphobia just to get through my day

but there has not been one single morning throughout all of this bullshit that I haven’t woken up, gotten out of my bed, and done *everything* I can do to serve my recovery & healing process–while also working through trauma… and never, ever neglecting to make time for my friends

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I’ve been cooped up in my apartment for the majority of the last year–and I may be (nearly) blind–but I see very clearly how bad things are out there. I don’t know anyone amongst my friends, family, and social circle who ISN’T going through awful circumstances right now. I hope what’s happening in this country brings us closer together rather than isolating and separating us from each other. Let’s continue to lift each other up when we fall down… and I hope anyone reading this is prioritizing their own health & safety above all else. We need to be at maximum personal empowerment if we want to continue to show up for our friends and our community

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I have the best friends I could ever hope for and I want to say THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU to all of you who have been in my corner this entire time

Love,

Nicole