The LaFon Family
UPDATE: Just like Paul encouraged us in Philippians "But my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." GOD is working in miraculous ways. Our need has been updated.
This fundraiser is for, Phil and Christina LaFon and their daughter, Ashlyn that needs admitted to a facility to treat her IMMEDIATELY her body cannot sustain such a low weight any longer without damage to major organs like her heart and brain. Often times this damage is irreversible. They wanted to share with you directly from their hearts. Here is their story.
Christina writes:
"Thank you so very much for taking the time to read our story. Ashlyn pictured here on this page is our sweet, caring, generous 16 year old daughter who has a heart to follow Jesus but has been taken captive by a terrible eating disorder. The full story is below if you like to really understand how horrible this is, but we wanted to make our need known first in respect for your time.
We are seeking help to raise money for Ashlyn’s treatment that is necessary IMMEDIATELY. The coast could easily reach $90,000. and possibly more. We cannot begin treatment without a substantial amount of money upfront and the remainder of the payment is due when treatment is finished. These programs are typically anywhere from 30 to 60 days or beyond based on the cooperation of the person treated. We will not have much time to gather the necessary money to settle with the treatment facility after she begins the program. We did not have health insurance and cannot acquire it until January. We did get her approved for Medicaid but most of these types of facilities don’t accept Medicaid and the one we found that did wouldn’t accept it from our county for a lot of reasons that are complex and frustrating. We would greatly appreciate any support in this matter even if only your prayers. If you would like to read the story it begins here:
Ashlyn's Battle
“I had no idea something in life could be this terrible,” I said to Phil last night as our daughter sobbed AGAIN over the dinner SHE had chosen. Why do meals and snacks bring such confusion and sadness? How can one eating disorder cause so much chaos, tension, and upsetness that the whole family would rather starve? It's not about the food, the doctor and counselor keep telling us. Then help us understand... please! We have to get to the root of this so there can be true healing and we can have our daughter back.
“In this world, you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer,” God says, “I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
I don’t really have any words to describe the magnitude of this crisis, yet I’ll give it a shot. I know God has given and will give us what we need for each day, but it is certainly the biggest challenge we’ve faced. After the things we’ve already been through, we feel like that’s saying A LOT!
How did it happen???
Back in March, after school closed down because of Covid, we started noticing that Ashlyn, our almost 16-year-old at the time, was more interested in healthy eating and exercise. She is a perfectionist by nature and a people pleaser. Being in the thick of her nutrition class at school, she was doing EVERYTHING the teacher suggested from kale smoothies for breakfast to shrinking her portion sizes so she would not get too full. Needless to say, her teacher was proud. This whole thing really snuck up on us since she was eating every meal and snacking pretty normally. We had to look very closely to figure out why her weight was dropping an average of 2 pounds a week. No salad dressing, no oils, no butter, or mayonnaise. No more second helpings, but rather a slow portion size change. More vegetables, no carbs, less protein. Let's not forget the plan to exercise 5-6 days a week she asked me to make with her. What began as a good intention to be healthier, quickly spiraled out of control. Ashlyn became too restrictive in every food choice she made causing a whopping 30-pound weight loss. Now, you all know I am kind of small. At 5 feet tall, my weight stays around 100 pounds. She and I were sharing clothes as she had gotten to be around100 pounds herself and my exact height. Imagine me 30 pounds lighter. That's her now. Even though we tried to stay on top of things with weekly doctor’s appointments along the way, got regular lab work along with counseling, this is where we ended up. Her weight has become dangerously low. She’s been diagnosed with Orthorexia as well as a Restrictive/Avoidance Food Disorder.
What Is Orthorexia?
Orthorexia is an unhealthy focus on eating in a healthy way. Eating nutritious food is good, but if you have orthorexia, you obsess about it to a degree that can damage your overall well-being.
The basic idea is that it includes eating habits that reject a variety of foods for not being “pure” enough. Eventually, people with orthorexia begin to avoid whole meals that don’t meet their standards or that they don’t make themselves.
In return what they do eat has very little calories. In an effort to make their body healthy they lose major macronutrients that our heart and brain need like carbohydrates and fat. Our brains must have both of these to function properly. Their bodies begin to sacrifice whatever it can to keep the brain and heart going. But if it runs out of things to sacrifice the major organs begin suffering and often times the damage is irreversible.
The Fight.
In the beginning, we saw our child who had always been a great eater become very picky about food. She had become a real chef wanting to help with meals and new desserts. We did not realize at the time, this was one sign of an eating disorder. The ones who struggle with this want a relationship with food, but do not want to eat the food. We were a bit naive about what was really going on.
We tried letting her pick anything she wanted to eat, took her to any restaurant she wanted, and made sure she had everything she desired to eat in the house at all times. Holden quickly discovered that we would all eat whatever Ashlyn requested. Thankfully, he's never been picky either.
We began to see strange behavior when we allowed her to choose her meals or snacks. It would only lead to confusion as she would get out things and then change her mind and put up things. Out of the cabinet and back in, out of the fridge and back in.
It was sad to watch. It was like she was calculating the lowest calorie snack available without speaking. Considering what she’d eat would easily turn into a process that lasted 45 minutes to an hour!
We have fought this as hard as we know how, reading books, talking with others that have overcome eating disorders, taking her to weekly doctor appointments, getting chiropractic care, and counseling. At home, we have given her declarations and truth to read from God’s Word about her identity, confusion, and whatever else we could. We’ve prayed for her in this area specifically with her and apart from her daily. We’ve anointed her room with oil, taken away anything we felt like could have brought this on, had others come over just to pray with her. We took her to Camp Shine with some friends for a week to remind her of her identity in Christ and value. We’ve played more worship music, scripture reading, and healing prayers in the house. As things began to become more obsessive we began to fight on all fronts. We’ve prayed down any and every stronghold, tactics of the enemy, and demonic forces trying to oppress her. We’ve spoken the truth and God’s promises over her and this disorder daily. We are fighting for her!
The Re-feeding Process.
Her weight became so low that conserving energy became our number one goal. The doctor explained to us how much energy it took for parts of life that most people wouldn’t even have to consider. For example, staying at 98.6 degrees in a room that no one else would be cold in may be burning a lot of calories for her. She was told to start dressing for winter to conserve energy. Because there was no insulation layer at all this was a calorie burner for her. Our hot-natured girl had starting feeling like an icebox every time we touched her. The most shocking conservation practice was that we had to end counseling because of the emotional engagement and mental fortitude it required was more calories than she could afford to spend. Because of the brain fog from undernourishment, we were wasting our money. At this point, our days are consumed with getting calories in and attempting to keep them from being burned at all costs.
There was one appointment where we knew we could not let her lose anymore and her weight had to quickly stabilize or go up. The doctor explained how it would be very difficult to do because of the momentum she had going down. We had been struggling to get enough calories in and convince her of the volume that was needed. After several weeks of monitoring her closely and her weight continuing to drop, the doctor was ready to send her for help.
At this exact time, we had a loved one discover a book they thought would help. She purchased and mailed it to us and this has been the answered prayer that has kept Ashlyn from being hospitalized up to this point. We discussed it with the doctor and he was willing to allow us to try this one more avenue. The book was written by eating disorder specialists. It explains that you must separate your child from the disorder. We attempted to suffocate the disorder as the book explains by not allowing the topic of meals and snacks to be discussed. It makes matters worse if they are. We began a re-feeding process these lead dietitians and others used where we filled her 10-inch plate a certain way with ½ carbs, ¼ protein, ¼ fruits or veggies, add fat to something, and a serving of dairy. We worked hard to add in extra calories as she is not been allowed in the kitchen at meal prepping times. She’s also not allowed in the grocery store as the disorder will try to manipulate and find things with little to no calories. It’s been a journey, to say the least, and yes, we are learning a lot. For me, I had never looked at calories but have tried not to eat so many processed foods and instead use whole foods as much as possible. Paying attention to calories was a new journey for me, however, my husband Phil, is very well versed here as this is a part of his career. Ashlyn, on the other hand, had quickly become an expert at picking the lowest calorie foods all day keeping most meals under 200, even at restaurants. Who knew that was possible? At her age, she needs around 2500 a day to put weight back on. We have had to push hard to get her to eat over 800 calories a day. When we make suggestions and try to help it leads to a control battle, resistance, and a LOT of tears and fits (sometimes for over an hour). For those of you who know Ashlyn personally, this is certainly out of her character. She is compliant, considerate, people-pleasing, a perfectionist, kind, and caring. It’s like she has been overtaken in her mind and even though she fights most days to get out of this hole, she has not come close to overcoming it yet. At one appointment, she begged the doctor for another week and gained a few pounds eating every hour, but was not able to maintain this. Even though she’s gained 3 pounds this month, she cannot stay in the 70s any longer. It’s hard on her heart, brain, and other body systems that have not to be able to get the nutrients they need. We are now gaining and losing the same three pounds of the last few weeks.
More Fighting.
We have fought hard to keep her home. What this means is we have to prepare her breakfast before she wakes up and other meals where she cannot see what goes in them. The times she has gotten a glimpse, she will not eat. We have hardly been able to eat with her for the last few weeks because the tears and fits are too stressful, yet we have to sit and watch her eat. She starts off most meals and snacks with tears and arguing. That’s a lot of tears and tension in one day! The disorder does not want to comply with a sufficient amount of calories and will fight very hard if allowed. We will spare you some of the details here in an effort not to embarrass her more.
Snacks have to be timely so that meals have the best chance of being consumed. This means we stay home as much as possible to make sure we are able to get the needed nutrition. If she leaves home, we try to make sure it is between meals or snacks and that when we pick her up from school or art class, we have a snack on hand to be consumed immediately. We have high hopes of any and every meal and snack being consumed even in tears, but the truth is, we just cannot make her eat when she refuses. We have taken important belongings, fun outings, school (one of the most important things to her), and even church at times if her food is not consumed. She has not been able to walk, run, or bike like she had been doing prior to this madness.
Sadness.
As hard as we have tried to make every meal something she’d enjoy, she no longer enjoys her favorite foods. She resists anything that has sugar, butter, oil, mayonnaise, or salad dressing.
Unfortunately, we are at a loss and a very sad place. Even though her weight has climbed a tad, it was not her choice. At one point she told us if it weren’t for being able to go to school, she would not eat. She has reacted in ways we have never seen her react. Her beautiful smile and fun-loving personality are rarely seen. As a mom, I feel like I am doing her an injustice not getting her the help she needs mentally. If we had the skills to help her we would have by now. To stay alive and become a healthy 16-year old, she needs more than we can possibly give her. We have placed work on hold as needed. One of us has to be with her at all times making sure every meal/snack is prepared appropriately and that each bite is consumed rather than hidden or thrown away. The disorder can be very sneaky and deceitful. Again, not her character. Thankfully, there’s been no purging with this disorder, but we still have to make sure we are listening at the bathroom doors after meals as we have learned that one eating disorder can flip into others. What we have noticed and have not been able to stop are the exercises done in the bathroom and the constant standing to do schoolwork. We know at one Eating Disorder facility, the patients are only allowed to stand 30 seconds at a time. To burn calories or feel like she’s responsible for stewarding her health or maybe just out of control, Ashlyn tries to stand all day long. There is no logic in her thinking.
I am not telling you this to burden you. This is too burdensome for anyone to carry. You and I were not created to, so go ahead and give it to God. He is the only one able. When Ashlyn comes to mind, just put it back in His hands. He is the healer and He will handle everything. Ashlyn reminds us often that God is fighting for her. She knows He is and she has admitted to Him that she needs help. We are sharing this in case you want to get a glimpse at what is going on and you can join us in prayer for Ashlyn during these difficult times.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. We love and appreciate you all.
1. If possible (and all things are with God), we want this to be a one and done. We want the help that she will be receiving to be life-changing and trust that she never has a relapse. We want her to be able to move forward in her calling and help others get through this even quicker.
2. We are praying RIGHT NOW that she accepts the fact that she is going to live away from home 40-60 days with no visitors (because of Covid) and that we can accept it. I cry just thinking about how much I’ll miss her even now. If there is any other way, we pray for it. Not our will Jesus, but Yours.
3. We pray for complete healing and restoration for our family. There’s been way too much arguing and fussing about food these last seven months! We want a peaceful home.
4. She is asking for her own joy to be restored.
5. Pray for wisdom for us, the doctors, therapists, dietitians, and everyone involved to help lead her into a full recovery.
6. Pray also for the finances. God said, He will supply all of our needs according to His glorious riches and He will. Help us as we ask for that.
7. We want Him to lead each step and even though it’s our goal to keep her out of the hospital setting (IV, gown, hospital bed), if her weight dips at all, the Residential treatment center (a more cozy homelike environment) will not accept her. They are not comfortable with a BMI under 15. Hers is currently 14.9.