I knew this adventure would be hard, I knew there would be twists and turns that would challenge and stretch us, I knew we would question giving up everything to come here, to Paradise, but what I did not anticipate was losing the hope of having a home for our family. I did not anticipate that I would still keep praying for our table.
We are the Goodlins, party of 6. Our story starts like this.
I, Jenni moved to Paradise, CA with my family when I was 9 years old after my father had passed away from Leukemia. My mom, was now a widow with 6 children and wanted a good place for us to grow up. I will never forget the first time I came to Paradise, the sky was so beautiful and blue, there were giant pine trees everywhere and it smelled so good! But more than that, there was immediate kindness shown to our family, the community taking us in, I remember the Alderson family specifically, they just made sure all 6 of us Cox kids were taken care of and pulled in. The care and kindness did not end there, several years after moving to Paradise my oldest brother Darren was diagnosed with a brain tumor, the community surrounded us, shaved their heads and even help raise $50,000 for a cancer treatment he was receiving in Texas. I really believed he would be healed, surely I would not lose both my dad and brother, that happens to other families, except for that is what happened to us. My brother fought hard, he loved Jesus, and served others until the end. Both his and my father’s lights shine deep in my heart.
Life eventually led me out of Paradise for college and to get married to my husband, Brett, but of course we had to get married in Paradise, no other place would do. We ended up moving and living in Colorado Springs for work and his family. It was a great place to start our family, but hardship and loss were not through with our family yet.
In 2008 my husband’s mom died quickly and unexpectedly in a horse accident. It was devastating. We were pregnant with our first child, Maya, and this loss was not supposed to part of our story. It was a heavy heavy loss to carry. All of the losses were so devastating and hard, but now it was not just my loss, it was for my child on the way, and it was for my husband.
I wish I could tell you that after this everything in life got way better. That is not our story to tell. In 2010 I received a call on December 11th, just before midnight, one of my younger sisters, Carrisa was gone. She had died. I was so confused; how did she die? What happened? She has a one year old. Confusion turned into anger. This could not be happening!! But it was, my sister Carrisa left this life in an instant from a heart that failed, she was 25 years old.
She left Norah, her 18 month old daughter. The immense grief we felt for losing my sister turned into a heavy burden for Norah not having a mother. At the time we had our 2 year old Maya, and you can probably guess that Norah becomes an intricate and beautiful part of our story at this time. But guess what, guess who was the support and love and care in this season? The community of Paradise, once again supporting us in the decision to adopt Norah, and helping us raise money to adopt her.
There is great loss in our story, but there is also great joy, life, and ridiculousness. Right after we had made the decision to adopt Norah we became pregnant with our daughter, Sarah (yes, just please laugh because we do) . So 7 months after Norah came to live with us Sarah was born. Boom, 1 to 3 kids in an instant! Guess we had to even it out and Levi became our caboose in 2013. 4 kids 5 and under, it was a busy life. Apparently not busy enough though.
In February 2014 Norah was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, her life was hanging on by a thread. We were so thankful her life was spared, insulin became her lifeline, and we became not just her parents but her care takers.
Life was impossible to say the least, 4 small children, 1 a baby, 1 with an autoimmune disease that requires 24/7 care and a totally different diet, Brett going to school. Where is Brett’s mom, I need her help? Where is my dad, he would be right by our side. Where is Norah’s mommy Carrisa, I was not meant for this job. It was too much for me to bear, all I can tell you is that the gentle spirit of God carried me through that season, it was not on my own strength because I had none. Even in this season I still had people reaching out and caring for our family all the way from Paradise.
And just when you think you have encountered every twist in life, you realize they never quite end. Because this next part of our story still just makes me just laugh out loud.
My husband Brett took a 23 and me test in 2018 and found out he had an entirely different dad and siblings he never new about. Ya, this is its own full story, and it’s my favorite. All we have ever know is loss and hardship and take and take, but this part of our story is just an amazing and beautiful gift that I could have never imagined. It is amazing and beautiful because his family is amazing and beautiful and we got to meet them and spend 3 weeks in Hawaii together. My heart swells with joy every single time I think of them and our time together.
I’m still not done
If you are reading this you know I lost my hometown Paradise, to the worst fire in California history. I watched and listened in horror in my home in Colorado. That day, November 8, 2019 changes thousands of lives, an insurmountable amount of devastation occurred, 14,000 homes lost, 86 and counting deaths, and I couldn’t do anything. This community, hundreds of people who had stood by my side in the hardest moments in life, I could not help them, not all of them. That day changed me, that day changed us, it changed our family.
All these pieces in life they all added up to a big decision that was weighing on us. The loss of my sister, Norah having diabetes, Brett losing his mom, losing my dad and brother, Brett finding a new family, losing Paradise…. Life is too short. What if we moved to Paradise? Not like one day in the future, like what if we move there now. What is the best way to help a town recover from such devastation, it is to move there, to shop there, to help. What if God was asking us to go, because he was.
And now here we are in Paradise, living in a 38 foot trailer for the past 8 months with 4 children, doing half online school, managing diabetes, weeds and poop tanks, during covid 19. The doors to get here seemed to fly wide open, including selling our Colorado home in 1 day. But now we are stuck, with house plans in hand, ones we have worked on for over a year, ones Brett’s new sister helped us to design, and we don’t know if we can build. The costs have just sky rocketed, and we keep encountering every obstacle. What was once in our grasp seems to be slipping away. I knew this adventure would be hard, would make me question everything, but I did not realize we would lose the hope of a home for our family.
We have come to this town to help, but have asked for nothing but help since arriving, people have helped us remove trees, pull weeds, have lent us their bathrooms, have made us warm meals, moved our trailer, have even taken us in when its smokey.
We aren’t giving up, we are willing to work hard and do what it takes, paint our house and do any finish work we are capable of to reduce the cost. But there is one thing we need help with, and that is for a table. A table? I know it sounds weird, but before we ever designed our home, we knew we were supposed to have a big outdoor table, one that we are supposed to use to feed and love the community with, the community that has helped us endless times.
We are not missionaries, we are not affiliated with anyone, we are just ordinary people who love God, love others, and love Paradise. Any thing helps. I’m still praying for our table.
You see Paradise is just like me, it has deep wounds, incredible pain and loss and devastation and people look and say, “it’s too much, it’s too hard.” But God has a different story for us both, something slow and beautiful. You have to look deep within, it’s not always easily found and it will take time, in fact it will take a lifetime but there is a wonderful, ridiculous, and completely messy story. One with Gods miracles and hand written all over it .
We are the Goodlins, party of 6. Our story starts like this.
I, Jenni moved to Paradise, CA with my family when I was 9 years old after my father had passed away from Leukemia. My mom, was now a widow with 6 children and wanted a good place for us to grow up. I will never forget the first time I came to Paradise, the sky was so beautiful and blue, there were giant pine trees everywhere and it smelled so good! But more than that, there was immediate kindness shown to our family, the community taking us in, I remember the Alderson family specifically, they just made sure all 6 of us Cox kids were taken care of and pulled in. The care and kindness did not end there, several years after moving to Paradise my oldest brother Darren was diagnosed with a brain tumor, the community surrounded us, shaved their heads and even help raise $50,000 for a cancer treatment he was receiving in Texas. I really believed he would be healed, surely I would not lose both my dad and brother, that happens to other families, except for that is what happened to us. My brother fought hard, he loved Jesus, and served others until the end. Both his and my father’s lights shine deep in my heart.
Life eventually led me out of Paradise for college and to get married to my husband, Brett, but of course we had to get married in Paradise, no other place would do. We ended up moving and living in Colorado Springs for work and his family. It was a great place to start our family, but hardship and loss were not through with our family yet.
In 2008 my husband’s mom died quickly and unexpectedly in a horse accident. It was devastating. We were pregnant with our first child, Maya, and this loss was not supposed to part of our story. It was a heavy heavy loss to carry. All of the losses were so devastating and hard, but now it was not just my loss, it was for my child on the way, and it was for my husband.
I wish I could tell you that after this everything in life got way better. That is not our story to tell. In 2010 I received a call on December 11th, just before midnight, one of my younger sisters, Carrisa was gone. She had died. I was so confused; how did she die? What happened? She has a one year old. Confusion turned into anger. This could not be happening!! But it was, my sister Carrisa left this life in an instant from a heart that failed, she was 25 years old.
She left Norah, her 18 month old daughter. The immense grief we felt for losing my sister turned into a heavy burden for Norah not having a mother. At the time we had our 2 year old Maya, and you can probably guess that Norah becomes an intricate and beautiful part of our story at this time. But guess what, guess who was the support and love and care in this season? The community of Paradise, once again supporting us in the decision to adopt Norah, and helping us raise money to adopt her.
There is great loss in our story, but there is also great joy, life, and ridiculousness. Right after we had made the decision to adopt Norah we became pregnant with our daughter, Sarah (yes, just please laugh because we do) . So 7 months after Norah came to live with us Sarah was born. Boom, 1 to 3 kids in an instant! Guess we had to even it out and Levi became our caboose in 2013. 4 kids 5 and under, it was a busy life. Apparently not busy enough though.
In February 2014 Norah was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, her life was hanging on by a thread. We were so thankful her life was spared, insulin became her lifeline, and we became not just her parents but her care takers.
Life was impossible to say the least, 4 small children, 1 a baby, 1 with an autoimmune disease that requires 24/7 care and a totally different diet, Brett going to school. Where is Brett’s mom, I need her help? Where is my dad, he would be right by our side. Where is Norah’s mommy Carrisa, I was not meant for this job. It was too much for me to bear, all I can tell you is that the gentle spirit of God carried me through that season, it was not on my own strength because I had none. Even in this season I still had people reaching out and caring for our family all the way from Paradise.
And just when you think you have encountered every twist in life, you realize they never quite end. Because this next part of our story still just makes me just laugh out loud.
My husband Brett took a 23 and me test in 2018 and found out he had an entirely different dad and siblings he never new about. Ya, this is its own full story, and it’s my favorite. All we have ever know is loss and hardship and take and take, but this part of our story is just an amazing and beautiful gift that I could have never imagined. It is amazing and beautiful because his family is amazing and beautiful and we got to meet them and spend 3 weeks in Hawaii together. My heart swells with joy every single time I think of them and our time together.
I’m still not done
If you are reading this you know I lost my hometown Paradise, to the worst fire in California history. I watched and listened in horror in my home in Colorado. That day, November 8, 2019 changes thousands of lives, an insurmountable amount of devastation occurred, 14,000 homes lost, 86 and counting deaths, and I couldn’t do anything. This community, hundreds of people who had stood by my side in the hardest moments in life, I could not help them, not all of them. That day changed me, that day changed us, it changed our family.
All these pieces in life they all added up to a big decision that was weighing on us. The loss of my sister, Norah having diabetes, Brett losing his mom, losing my dad and brother, Brett finding a new family, losing Paradise…. Life is too short. What if we moved to Paradise? Not like one day in the future, like what if we move there now. What is the best way to help a town recover from such devastation, it is to move there, to shop there, to help. What if God was asking us to go, because he was.
And now here we are in Paradise, living in a 38 foot trailer for the past 8 months with 4 children, doing half online school, managing diabetes, weeds and poop tanks, during covid 19. The doors to get here seemed to fly wide open, including selling our Colorado home in 1 day. But now we are stuck, with house plans in hand, ones we have worked on for over a year, ones Brett’s new sister helped us to design, and we don’t know if we can build. The costs have just sky rocketed, and we keep encountering every obstacle. What was once in our grasp seems to be slipping away. I knew this adventure would be hard, would make me question everything, but I did not realize we would lose the hope of a home for our family.
We have come to this town to help, but have asked for nothing but help since arriving, people have helped us remove trees, pull weeds, have lent us their bathrooms, have made us warm meals, moved our trailer, have even taken us in when its smokey.
We aren’t giving up, we are willing to work hard and do what it takes, paint our house and do any finish work we are capable of to reduce the cost. But there is one thing we need help with, and that is for a table. A table? I know it sounds weird, but before we ever designed our home, we knew we were supposed to have a big outdoor table, one that we are supposed to use to feed and love the community with, the community that has helped us endless times.
We are not missionaries, we are not affiliated with anyone, we are just ordinary people who love God, love others, and love Paradise. Any thing helps. I’m still praying for our table.
You see Paradise is just like me, it has deep wounds, incredible pain and loss and devastation and people look and say, “it’s too much, it’s too hard.” But God has a different story for us both, something slow and beautiful. You have to look deep within, it’s not always easily found and it will take time, in fact it will take a lifetime but there is a wonderful, ridiculous, and completely messy story. One with Gods miracles and hand written all over it .
Organizer and beneficiary
Jenni Goodlin
Beneficiary