The fight to save our family and beat cancer

On July 17th, 2021, our world was turned upside down. An incident at our home tore our family apart, left my wife and I separated, our two beautiful young children confused, and me struggling to pay for everything.

Who Am I

My name is Bill Armstrong, and I’ve spent my life trying to be a good Christian, son, husband, and father. In 2006 I moved from Ann Arbor, MI, to Milwaukee, WI, to chase a dream. I dreamt of qualifying for the Olympic trials in metric speed skating and making the Olympic team. While pursuing my dream, I met the most extraordinary woman and, along the way, fell in love.

In 2013 I married that woman and became a stepfather in the process. Not long after that, we had a son and a daughter. My life was taking on a purpose greater than myself. For many years I allowed myself to be defined by my athletic accomplishments and career. Suddenly, I found new meaning in being a husband, father, and provider.

Life’s Unforeseen Struggles

Things suddenly changed for me on January 4th, 2016. I became very ill with what doctors called an idiopathic, poly-systemic, neurologic inflammatory response. In short, I experienced the most debilitating pain and loss of motor function imaginable. My entire body was riddled with intense pain. I could barely move; it literally hurt to breathe. This illness persisted for many weeks before calming down, only to return in late November 2017. I was forced to put my skating dreams on hold until I could resolve my health issues.

To add insult to injury, in July 2019, I was dealt another major blow. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. At the time, it was believed the tumor was in the second stage. Following major surgery in September of 2019, I learned the pathology results showed the cancer was in the fourth stage and had traveled to my lymph nodes, 10 of which had been removed during surgery.

In March 2020, as I was coping with treatments, the nation went into a pandemic lockdown, and I found myself at home with my wife and two small children. My wife was and is a homemaker, so the financial burden of supporting the family fell on my shoulders while she focused on home-schooling our children.

I fear the stress of a significant medical illness, a pandemic lockdown, working from home and attempting to raise a family was too much, and our marriage began to fracture. The incidents devastated our family and continue creating emotional and financial pressures on us.

Difficult Decisions

These events led to a complete fracture in my marriage and threatened to destroy our family. I struggle to protect and hold on to my children as their lives have drastically changed. To ensure the welfare of our children, I was forced to file for legal separation in August of 2021. The filing was the quickest way to involve a Guardian Ad Litem to protect the interests of our children.

The events of the past 17 months have been especially trying for our children. They are often confused, saddened, and angered by what has happened to our family. Both my son and daughter deeply long to see the family happy and intact again. My daughter struggles with acceptable ways to express her sadness and frequently erupts, sobbing with frustration and anger at how unfair life has become. She asks when my wife and I will get back together. Why can’t we be a family like we were before? She asks if I still love mommy and if we are still friends. I tell her the truth, “yes, Daddy still loves Mommy.” It truly breaks my heart!

I have worked with both children on acceptable ways to manage their emotions, such as deep belly breathing exercises or tai chi; however, I often find nothing works better than just holding them and stroking their hair.

I have attempted to shield our children as best I can from negative words and biases that often arise when marriages struggle to succeed. To provide activities for them, I have turned to cultural outlets such as visiting the Milwaukee Art Museum and getting a family membership to the YMCA. I also purchased a family membership to Milwaukee’s science and technology museum, Discovery World, a beautiful and fun museum for children and adults alike. I take them on play dates with other children from their school. We often meet at the school playground or local parks where the children can run and play, or we play at home and have fun.

What’s At Stake

The well-being of our precious children is at stake. Our children are innocent and stuck in the middle of horrible circumstances. I’ve heard of the generosity of others willing to help fight for those who may be struggling. We need your help! Without your generosity, our home will be lost; I will lose my car, without which I cannot work. We will then lose our healthcare and find ourselves in dire straits, on the edge of financial oblivion.

What Brought Me to GoFundMe

What led me to start a GoFundMe was an attempt to protect my children as I tried as best I could to repair the rift in my marriage and save my family. I’m struggling to make ends meet. I could provide for the children during these trying times, but the financial burden of medical bills in the thousands of dollars, attorney’s fees, a mortgage etc., has proven too much for me to handle on my own.

Any excess help I receive will be used to support my son and daughter as we navigate these challenging times. With your support, I can provide for my family and keep a roof over our heads.

Thank you!