The Bond's Fertility Journey
Donation protected
Hello Everyone,
As children, we are often asked the question by many adults, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" While other kids would talk about their future as fire fighters, policemen, actresses, vets and astronauts, I simply said I was going to be, "a mom." Unfortunately, as I grew to understand, although being a mom is a job in itself, it was not one that was going to pay my bills. Instead, I decided to dedicate my life and career path to helping children and youth in need.
While I was going through school to obtain my diploma in Child and Youth Work, I continued to struggle with severe daily pains. From the very young age of 10, Mother Nature blessed me with "becoming a woman." While I may have become quickly popular with my growing chest, something never felt quite right. My periods became irregular, longer, more painful than ever and even causing me to be hospitalized at times. I began to see doctors regularly, and after multiple passed cysts, failed treatments and various surgeries, I was diagnosed with PCOS and Severe type 4 Endometriosis at 18 years old. "Great," I thought. Now that we know, they can fix it and I no longer have to deal with this daily struggle of pain. Unfortunately, 20 years later following my first period, we know this to not be true.
Endometriosis is a condition in which tissue that lines the uterus begins to spread outside of the uterus and implant in places like the fallopian tubes, ovaries, and other organs in the pelvic region.
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a common condition that affects how a woman's ovaries work. PCOS is a hormonal disorder common among women of reproductive age. Women with PCOS may have infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods or excess male hormone (androgen) levels. The ovaries may develop numerous small collections of fluid (follicles) and fail to regularly release eggs.
Unfortunately both also come with their luggage of crippling pain, increased growing cysts, more painful periods, INFERTILITY and no cure.
Fast forward to 2015 when I met the love of my life while working with high risk youth in an emergency home. Ok, ok, this isn't a corny love story. At the time I didn't know he'd be my future husband. Actually, as many good lifelong friendships begin, we both weren't huge fans of eachother. This quickly changed when he asked me out for wings. I mean who passes up on Wild Wings right? Together, through food, laughter and chit-chat, we figured out we had a lot in common. We both decided to dedicate our career and lives to helping children and youth. We both followed the same path in school and took Child and Youth Work, we were currently both working in an emergency grouphome, and our biggest connection of all, was that when we grew up, we wanted to be, "parents."
Call us crazy, but we begun our family process quicker than most the following year. By 2016 we added our fur baby, Dakota, to our growing family and began our fertility journey with the help of my amazing gynecologist, Dr. Shabib. See Graham and I knew this would be a journey, but it was OUR journey. One that seemed like a forever up hill battle. Days turned into weeks, that turned into months which we know now have turned into 5 years!! Medications, injections, surgeries, more medications, more surgeries and more failure upon failure. Failed natural conception, failed IUI's, miscarriages, failed surgeries and now our hopes and prayers were being answered. Becoming a mom shouldn't be this hard?! I mean this is literally what we are built to do. We are strong, powerful and incredible beings!
We had finally made it to the top of the funded IVF list at the Ottawa Fertility Clinic after over a year of being on the list. We became patients of the Ottawa Fertility Clinic in 2018. We have been given a 1% chance to naturally conceive. These percentages of course go up with either IUI or IVF.
For the first time in 5 long years, we felt excited, hopeful even, and she's a fickle bitch of a feeling. Of course we felt nervous, unsure, scared and doubtful. All valid feelings after so much heartbreak, but we wanted this so bad and our team of nurses and doctors had a plan guaranteed to make our wishes and dreams come true.
After close to $8000 of medication (not covered in any funded program), 10 days of daily morning and evening needles, multiple appointments, bloodwork and ultrasounds, unpaid time off work, cramping and severe mood swings, we were set for our egg retrieval. This was it. The moment we had been preparing for and monitoring with our doctors. After the increase of medications and seeing close to 12 potential mature eggs, we triggered and were set to have our eggs come out!
"2 eggs," she told me as she continued to hold my hand, wipe my tears and stroke my head. I had just been through what possibly was the most traumatic egg retrieval of my life, and you're telling me within 30 seconds, it's done? It was explained to me that the doctor was unable to get to my right ovary to remove any follicles and they only obtained 2 eggs from my left ovary. Needless to say, we left the clinic feeling defeated and much more upset than we had planned. I was emotional, scared, angry and dare I say... still hopeful. After all, we had our 2 eggs and surely they would fertilize.
Unfortunately after an 8am phone call the following day, this was untrue. Our first and only round of IVF failed. IT FAILED! We are supposed to be happy. We are supposed to be pregnant and arguing about names, nursery colours and questioning if I married the right man when he doesn't bring me my craving foods! Instead, we were crying, holding eachother and crying more. There have been days where we sit in eachothers presence unsure if life is real or not. Unsure is the other person is actually sitting beside you or not. Laughter is the best medicine, but its hard to smile with a broken heart.
Over the past years, we have been on a fertility journey for what has felt like a lifetime. Graham is lucky to have great benefits with his job that cover up to $18,000 worth of fertility medications. Most of what we have already used. Unfortunatly, that does not cover the procedures themselves. 1 round of IUI, can cost over $1,000.00 and IVF, which for a 2nd round will cost us at least $10,000 excluding another close to $8000 for medications. Our best plan at becoming parents is another round of intense treatment and IVF.
It has now become that awkward time in our rant, where we ask you to open your prayers, your hearts... and your pockets... to us. We are by no means expecting to reach our goal, but any little bit helps us along this journey. For anybody that knows us, you know we want nothing more than to have the opportunity to become parents.
Honestly, we are so greatful for all of our family and friends. The continued ongoing support and love that flows through each and everyone of you, is why we have the strength to do this again. We will not give up on our dreams.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
As children, we are often asked the question by many adults, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" While other kids would talk about their future as fire fighters, policemen, actresses, vets and astronauts, I simply said I was going to be, "a mom." Unfortunately, as I grew to understand, although being a mom is a job in itself, it was not one that was going to pay my bills. Instead, I decided to dedicate my life and career path to helping children and youth in need.
While I was going through school to obtain my diploma in Child and Youth Work, I continued to struggle with severe daily pains. From the very young age of 10, Mother Nature blessed me with "becoming a woman." While I may have become quickly popular with my growing chest, something never felt quite right. My periods became irregular, longer, more painful than ever and even causing me to be hospitalized at times. I began to see doctors regularly, and after multiple passed cysts, failed treatments and various surgeries, I was diagnosed with PCOS and Severe type 4 Endometriosis at 18 years old. "Great," I thought. Now that we know, they can fix it and I no longer have to deal with this daily struggle of pain. Unfortunately, 20 years later following my first period, we know this to not be true.
Endometriosis is a condition in which tissue that lines the uterus begins to spread outside of the uterus and implant in places like the fallopian tubes, ovaries, and other organs in the pelvic region.
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a common condition that affects how a woman's ovaries work. PCOS is a hormonal disorder common among women of reproductive age. Women with PCOS may have infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods or excess male hormone (androgen) levels. The ovaries may develop numerous small collections of fluid (follicles) and fail to regularly release eggs.
Unfortunately both also come with their luggage of crippling pain, increased growing cysts, more painful periods, INFERTILITY and no cure.
Fast forward to 2015 when I met the love of my life while working with high risk youth in an emergency home. Ok, ok, this isn't a corny love story. At the time I didn't know he'd be my future husband. Actually, as many good lifelong friendships begin, we both weren't huge fans of eachother. This quickly changed when he asked me out for wings. I mean who passes up on Wild Wings right? Together, through food, laughter and chit-chat, we figured out we had a lot in common. We both decided to dedicate our career and lives to helping children and youth. We both followed the same path in school and took Child and Youth Work, we were currently both working in an emergency grouphome, and our biggest connection of all, was that when we grew up, we wanted to be, "parents."
Call us crazy, but we begun our family process quicker than most the following year. By 2016 we added our fur baby, Dakota, to our growing family and began our fertility journey with the help of my amazing gynecologist, Dr. Shabib. See Graham and I knew this would be a journey, but it was OUR journey. One that seemed like a forever up hill battle. Days turned into weeks, that turned into months which we know now have turned into 5 years!! Medications, injections, surgeries, more medications, more surgeries and more failure upon failure. Failed natural conception, failed IUI's, miscarriages, failed surgeries and now our hopes and prayers were being answered. Becoming a mom shouldn't be this hard?! I mean this is literally what we are built to do. We are strong, powerful and incredible beings!
We had finally made it to the top of the funded IVF list at the Ottawa Fertility Clinic after over a year of being on the list. We became patients of the Ottawa Fertility Clinic in 2018. We have been given a 1% chance to naturally conceive. These percentages of course go up with either IUI or IVF.
For the first time in 5 long years, we felt excited, hopeful even, and she's a fickle bitch of a feeling. Of course we felt nervous, unsure, scared and doubtful. All valid feelings after so much heartbreak, but we wanted this so bad and our team of nurses and doctors had a plan guaranteed to make our wishes and dreams come true.
After close to $8000 of medication (not covered in any funded program), 10 days of daily morning and evening needles, multiple appointments, bloodwork and ultrasounds, unpaid time off work, cramping and severe mood swings, we were set for our egg retrieval. This was it. The moment we had been preparing for and monitoring with our doctors. After the increase of medications and seeing close to 12 potential mature eggs, we triggered and were set to have our eggs come out!
"2 eggs," she told me as she continued to hold my hand, wipe my tears and stroke my head. I had just been through what possibly was the most traumatic egg retrieval of my life, and you're telling me within 30 seconds, it's done? It was explained to me that the doctor was unable to get to my right ovary to remove any follicles and they only obtained 2 eggs from my left ovary. Needless to say, we left the clinic feeling defeated and much more upset than we had planned. I was emotional, scared, angry and dare I say... still hopeful. After all, we had our 2 eggs and surely they would fertilize.
Unfortunately after an 8am phone call the following day, this was untrue. Our first and only round of IVF failed. IT FAILED! We are supposed to be happy. We are supposed to be pregnant and arguing about names, nursery colours and questioning if I married the right man when he doesn't bring me my craving foods! Instead, we were crying, holding eachother and crying more. There have been days where we sit in eachothers presence unsure if life is real or not. Unsure is the other person is actually sitting beside you or not. Laughter is the best medicine, but its hard to smile with a broken heart.
Over the past years, we have been on a fertility journey for what has felt like a lifetime. Graham is lucky to have great benefits with his job that cover up to $18,000 worth of fertility medications. Most of what we have already used. Unfortunatly, that does not cover the procedures themselves. 1 round of IUI, can cost over $1,000.00 and IVF, which for a 2nd round will cost us at least $10,000 excluding another close to $8000 for medications. Our best plan at becoming parents is another round of intense treatment and IVF.
It has now become that awkward time in our rant, where we ask you to open your prayers, your hearts... and your pockets... to us. We are by no means expecting to reach our goal, but any little bit helps us along this journey. For anybody that knows us, you know we want nothing more than to have the opportunity to become parents.
Honestly, we are so greatful for all of our family and friends. The continued ongoing support and love that flows through each and everyone of you, is why we have the strength to do this again. We will not give up on our dreams.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Organizer
Graham Bond
Organizer
Wendover, ON