$2,910 raised
·37 donations
"Teddy" Adams Baby Fund- Kel&Ronnie
Donation protected
How many of you are procrastinators?? So let me tell you an interesting story of procrastination, love, heartache, and hope!! If you know me, you know I’m usually running from one place to another, I’m not usually early because quite frankly, I just have too many things to cram into a 24 hour period and there is not enough time to get it all done (so who the hell has time to get somewhere early and just sit and wait…lol). I have a great career and I love what I do for a living! I’ve spent the last 18 years dedicated to my career, my fellow police officers, and my community. Good thing I love what I do, because it’s really hard on the social life sometimes, and even more so on the relationship aspect! For a long time, I thought I’d never find the “right one” and I’d come to grips with that and I was okay. All that “waiting” for the right one, and telling myself, “one day, I’ll start a family”, now has me in a quite a pickle. This is my “Baby Story”, along with some words of advice from things I’ve learned!
I finally did meet Mr. Right, and here is where he would say, “He has a name. It’s Ronnie.” Ronnie and I are a great match. We make each other laugh and we enjoy many of the same things. We can spend a weekend kayaking or camping, or both, and we like the same TV shows (mostly). He loves history, I get a kick out of hearing him correct the documentaries, and we can tell each other all the stories and stresses from work since we are both in Law Enforcement. I knew it was right when I met his youngest kids for the first time going to see a movie, and he interacted with his (extremely well-behaved) kids in a way that stole my heart! I knew he was a great dad, and we had already chatted about family issues.
Since I had come to accept I might be an ‘old maid’ before I met him, I told him right away that I wanted kids. Since I was hitting my 40’s, I was ready to start implementing “the Plan”. He came along and, well, slight change in plans. Ronnie said he’d always wanted 5 kids, so he accepted that I wanted children. Slight problem though, due to his vasectomy almost 10 years earlier. That puts a kink in baby planning, right?! So, I started researching what to do. I finally discovered that doctors can retrieve the necessary swimmers, but it’s not quite as easy as most would think. My husband must love me, because he went under the knife again, to help our dream of having a child together come true. My suggestion here is, for you men, consider very carefully the decision to have the “V” surgery if one day you might EVER be in a situation in which you want more kids. What is so simple to do, is a lot harder to undo! After collecting things from Ronnie, it was my turn. I do not believe I am old (ya’ll know this about me lol)! But come to find out, apparently, at about 38 years of age, women start to become old and crusty (really it’s just the old eggs that are left, but I still take it a little personal). At 40, you become high risk! It’s hard to retrieve healthy, viable eggs, and the whole IVF thing just gets more complicated and way more expensive when you’re over forty. So my advice to the ladies is save your eggs early if you’re going to wait, or just start the process earlier! Many IVF clinics have packages for multiple rounds of IVF if you’re under a certain age, but when you’re ‘old and crusty’, not so much. The chances of successful pregnancy, carried to full term, for females my age are way less than 50% and it’s so freaking expensive!!!
Around this time two years ago, I was undergoing egg retrieval, waiting for embryos to develop, taking daily shots in stomach, and going to the clinic almost every week if not every day. During my first cycle, out of lots of eggs retrieved, only 6 developed and from those only one developed enough to use for IVF. I asked for prayers, and Ronnie and I got an amazing phone call telling us that we were pregnant!! About a week before Christmas, I started bleeding and we were more scared than we’ve ever been, and prayed more than we’ve ever prayed. A trip to see the doctor, and they seemed to think things were okay. We could see our baby’s heartbeat on the monitor, and we thanked God and felt a tremendous relief that our baby was okay. Ronnie called our baby Test tube, or T.T. for short, and I’d already gone to buy this HUGE teddy bear for the child we would have together. I’d bought my beautiful niece Eloise the same type of teddy bear when she was born, and we couldn’t wait until they would play together as little kids growing up on the farm.
On December 22, we had a follow up visit after I’d been on “bed rest” all week. I remember thinking everything would be fine! After the scare earlier in the week, we saw a strong heartbeat, I’d been good about resting all week, and I knew I had lots of prayers from friends and family. Only my closest friends and family knew we’d been going through IVF, but a simple prayer request had been answered by all the wonderful believers in my circle. They started up the ultrasound, and that strong heartbeat Ronnie and I had been so happy to see and hear a week earlier had slowed dramatically. It literally took my breath away. The Doctor just said, “I’m sorry.” Ronnie and I were in shock, and heartbroken. We were asked to come back Monday, the day after Christmas, but I could tell from the Doctor’s behavior, and the nurse’s, that they didn’t have much hope. When Ronnie and I walked out into the hallway, we both literally broke down in tears. I cannot explain the depth of pain that I felt that day. I’d felt so extremely blessed up to that moment, and the dream I’d had was ripped from my grasp. The life that Ronnie and I had gone through so much for, that we’d wanted so much, was being taken from us, and there was nothing that either of us could do to stop it. For two people who are usually in control of every situation, it was unbearable to be at such a loss. That was a really hard Christmas. We had Ronnie’s kids (we hadn’t told them about the pregnancy yet) so we put on a happy face and celebrated the holiday with our family. Monday provided no relief, only confirmed heartache. On Monday morning, our baby’s heartbeat was gone.
It’s been almost two years since our loss. We have grieved, we have cried, and we have tried to move forward. We tried another round of IVF, no embryos developed. I had to make a decision on whether to go through another round, at an added expense, and I just knew it wasn’t possible. We’d already spent over $30,000 for the two rounds, and I knew the chances just were not that good. I was pretty depressed for a while, trying to wrap my head around not being able to have the child I’d dreamed of for so long! It had never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to have a child! I came to a state of acceptance on not bearing a child, but I still could not accept not being a mother! For a while, Ronnie would say, “Kelly, we tried.” And we did, but I just couldn’t give up! I believe, with every fiber of my being, that I was meant to be a mom! And I just can’t seem to walk away from that belief. I want to feel that immediate bond, experience that new baby smell, and enjoy all the things that moms experience as they watch their kids grow!
I have always believed that things happen for a reason, even though we may not know what that reason is! In this journey, I guess that I’ve come to believe that there is a child out there somewhere that is meant to be ours. Ronnie and I have discussed at length the options, and we are ready to take the next step in our family’s journey. We are meant to be parents, and we are hoping to adopt. We’ve been doing research, and we hope that there’s a birth mother out there that believes in us and the love that we have to give, and trusts us with the greatest gift of all. This journey we are about to take is yet another costly one. IVF costs were over $35,000, still paying for it, and adoption will be just as much (how ridiculous is that??!!). Ronnie and I have struggled with asking for any help, but ultimately, we believe that there are times when we should set our pride aside and trust in Him. Our friends and family are all supportive, and I can only think about how we would want to support a friend if it meant helping them achieve such an important dream. There is a child out there that needs us, and is meant to be with us! Ronnie and I have talked about our future plans, and we just need to put it all in action. I still have a huge teddy bear that watches over me while I sleep, and I believe that God’s plan will bring our adopted baby home to it. We all have our struggles, as well as our hopes and dreams. Don’t ever give up hope, and don’t give up on your dreams. We are trying to fulfill our dreams of expanding our family. I want to have that special moment that every parent has when they first hold their child. I cannot help but be a little jealous every time I hear of someone’s pregnancy, but I am happy for their blessings. I am thankful for our blessings every day, and they are plenty! Ronnie and I only want to pass on the blessings in our lives, and we can only pray that God’s plan brings us the opportunity. Thank you for your support, and most importantly, your prayers as we continue through our baby journey.
I finally did meet Mr. Right, and here is where he would say, “He has a name. It’s Ronnie.” Ronnie and I are a great match. We make each other laugh and we enjoy many of the same things. We can spend a weekend kayaking or camping, or both, and we like the same TV shows (mostly). He loves history, I get a kick out of hearing him correct the documentaries, and we can tell each other all the stories and stresses from work since we are both in Law Enforcement. I knew it was right when I met his youngest kids for the first time going to see a movie, and he interacted with his (extremely well-behaved) kids in a way that stole my heart! I knew he was a great dad, and we had already chatted about family issues.
Since I had come to accept I might be an ‘old maid’ before I met him, I told him right away that I wanted kids. Since I was hitting my 40’s, I was ready to start implementing “the Plan”. He came along and, well, slight change in plans. Ronnie said he’d always wanted 5 kids, so he accepted that I wanted children. Slight problem though, due to his vasectomy almost 10 years earlier. That puts a kink in baby planning, right?! So, I started researching what to do. I finally discovered that doctors can retrieve the necessary swimmers, but it’s not quite as easy as most would think. My husband must love me, because he went under the knife again, to help our dream of having a child together come true. My suggestion here is, for you men, consider very carefully the decision to have the “V” surgery if one day you might EVER be in a situation in which you want more kids. What is so simple to do, is a lot harder to undo! After collecting things from Ronnie, it was my turn. I do not believe I am old (ya’ll know this about me lol)! But come to find out, apparently, at about 38 years of age, women start to become old and crusty (really it’s just the old eggs that are left, but I still take it a little personal). At 40, you become high risk! It’s hard to retrieve healthy, viable eggs, and the whole IVF thing just gets more complicated and way more expensive when you’re over forty. So my advice to the ladies is save your eggs early if you’re going to wait, or just start the process earlier! Many IVF clinics have packages for multiple rounds of IVF if you’re under a certain age, but when you’re ‘old and crusty’, not so much. The chances of successful pregnancy, carried to full term, for females my age are way less than 50% and it’s so freaking expensive!!!
Around this time two years ago, I was undergoing egg retrieval, waiting for embryos to develop, taking daily shots in stomach, and going to the clinic almost every week if not every day. During my first cycle, out of lots of eggs retrieved, only 6 developed and from those only one developed enough to use for IVF. I asked for prayers, and Ronnie and I got an amazing phone call telling us that we were pregnant!! About a week before Christmas, I started bleeding and we were more scared than we’ve ever been, and prayed more than we’ve ever prayed. A trip to see the doctor, and they seemed to think things were okay. We could see our baby’s heartbeat on the monitor, and we thanked God and felt a tremendous relief that our baby was okay. Ronnie called our baby Test tube, or T.T. for short, and I’d already gone to buy this HUGE teddy bear for the child we would have together. I’d bought my beautiful niece Eloise the same type of teddy bear when she was born, and we couldn’t wait until they would play together as little kids growing up on the farm.
On December 22, we had a follow up visit after I’d been on “bed rest” all week. I remember thinking everything would be fine! After the scare earlier in the week, we saw a strong heartbeat, I’d been good about resting all week, and I knew I had lots of prayers from friends and family. Only my closest friends and family knew we’d been going through IVF, but a simple prayer request had been answered by all the wonderful believers in my circle. They started up the ultrasound, and that strong heartbeat Ronnie and I had been so happy to see and hear a week earlier had slowed dramatically. It literally took my breath away. The Doctor just said, “I’m sorry.” Ronnie and I were in shock, and heartbroken. We were asked to come back Monday, the day after Christmas, but I could tell from the Doctor’s behavior, and the nurse’s, that they didn’t have much hope. When Ronnie and I walked out into the hallway, we both literally broke down in tears. I cannot explain the depth of pain that I felt that day. I’d felt so extremely blessed up to that moment, and the dream I’d had was ripped from my grasp. The life that Ronnie and I had gone through so much for, that we’d wanted so much, was being taken from us, and there was nothing that either of us could do to stop it. For two people who are usually in control of every situation, it was unbearable to be at such a loss. That was a really hard Christmas. We had Ronnie’s kids (we hadn’t told them about the pregnancy yet) so we put on a happy face and celebrated the holiday with our family. Monday provided no relief, only confirmed heartache. On Monday morning, our baby’s heartbeat was gone.
It’s been almost two years since our loss. We have grieved, we have cried, and we have tried to move forward. We tried another round of IVF, no embryos developed. I had to make a decision on whether to go through another round, at an added expense, and I just knew it wasn’t possible. We’d already spent over $30,000 for the two rounds, and I knew the chances just were not that good. I was pretty depressed for a while, trying to wrap my head around not being able to have the child I’d dreamed of for so long! It had never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to have a child! I came to a state of acceptance on not bearing a child, but I still could not accept not being a mother! For a while, Ronnie would say, “Kelly, we tried.” And we did, but I just couldn’t give up! I believe, with every fiber of my being, that I was meant to be a mom! And I just can’t seem to walk away from that belief. I want to feel that immediate bond, experience that new baby smell, and enjoy all the things that moms experience as they watch their kids grow!
I have always believed that things happen for a reason, even though we may not know what that reason is! In this journey, I guess that I’ve come to believe that there is a child out there somewhere that is meant to be ours. Ronnie and I have discussed at length the options, and we are ready to take the next step in our family’s journey. We are meant to be parents, and we are hoping to adopt. We’ve been doing research, and we hope that there’s a birth mother out there that believes in us and the love that we have to give, and trusts us with the greatest gift of all. This journey we are about to take is yet another costly one. IVF costs were over $35,000, still paying for it, and adoption will be just as much (how ridiculous is that??!!). Ronnie and I have struggled with asking for any help, but ultimately, we believe that there are times when we should set our pride aside and trust in Him. Our friends and family are all supportive, and I can only think about how we would want to support a friend if it meant helping them achieve such an important dream. There is a child out there that needs us, and is meant to be with us! Ronnie and I have talked about our future plans, and we just need to put it all in action. I still have a huge teddy bear that watches over me while I sleep, and I believe that God’s plan will bring our adopted baby home to it. We all have our struggles, as well as our hopes and dreams. Don’t ever give up hope, and don’t give up on your dreams. We are trying to fulfill our dreams of expanding our family. I want to have that special moment that every parent has when they first hold their child. I cannot help but be a little jealous every time I hear of someone’s pregnancy, but I am happy for their blessings. I am thankful for our blessings every day, and they are plenty! Ronnie and I only want to pass on the blessings in our lives, and we can only pray that God’s plan brings us the opportunity. Thank you for your support, and most importantly, your prayers as we continue through our baby journey.
Donations
Organizer
Kelly Goforth Adams
Organizer
Orange, VA