Hi everyone, my name is Tay and I’m an autistic trans man who needs phalloplasty surgery.

The combination of my autism and lower dysphoria is so traumatising that I’m currently unable to work and save for surgery. I don’t have any support from my family and I’m asking for your help to raise money for this life saving surgery.

My story

As a trans person, I have spent most of my life suffering with dysphoria which feels like living as a shadow in my own body. Dysphoria is debilitating and has affected every aspect of my life; it occupies a space in my brain that feels more urgent than hunger or thirst.

I’ve spent the last four years healing my dysphoria by transitioning. I’ve done this by rebuilding my life and body with hormones, surgery and perseverance. Building my body from something I don’t recognise to something that feels more like home has felt akin to experiencing magic. But I’m not finished yet - I need to have phalloplasty surgery to complete my transition and heal my remaining bottom dysphoria.

My bottom dysphoria is so unrelenting that I have been signed off sick from my job for the foreseeable future. Gender affirming phalloplasty surgery is the only way to heal my dysphoria. This surgery will be the final step in my journey to making my body feel like home.

Unfortunately, trans healthcare in the UK is in a state of crisis. If I hadn’t paid privately for my hormones and chest surgery, I would still be waiting for a first appointment with the NHS gender clinic. Trans healthcare is so critically underfunded that conservative estimates suggest that I’ll be waiting at least 8 years before I can have my first operation. I don’t think I can survive the wait. This is why I need your help. Through my transness, I have found a wonderful community of friends and loved ones but I do not have a family that is able to support me.

About Gender Affirming Phalloplasty + Costs

Phalloplasty is a series of three operations and I’m fundraising for the first two. My surgeon has quoted an estimate of £48,000 for these two operations (see the comments for a more detailed breakdown of the costs).

I’ve spent over £15,000 on my transition so far which has depleted my savings. I’m currently unable to save anything while I’m signed off sick due to my mental health.

After having this surgery, I’ll be able to end a lifelong battle with my body and experience a oneness with myself that I never dreamed was possible. Discovering my transness has been one of the most beautiful and healing experiences of my life. Being able to inhabit my body using gender affirming healthcare has saved me. Please help me to take the final steps to starting my life in a body that feels like my own.

It’s uncomfortable to be asking for help so publicly with something that is so private but I’ve come to understand that without help, I may never have this life saving procedure.

Any contribution large or small would mean the world to me. Feel free to share this page with family, friends and allies.

I plan on updating you all with my progress as I hit new milestones so stay in touch!

Thank you for reading!