Tawni and Brian are getting married ❤️

Hi, it’s me Tawni! I’m asking for a big favor from our loved ones… We don’t need more stuff for our wedding… We need money!!!

I was worried that crowdfunding in lieu of wedding gifts would potentially be considered tacky, but the more I sat with it, the more I realized just how much we have been through health and finance wise during our 6 year journey together and to have any amount of relief during one of the most important times in our life seems like the obvious thing to ask of those who have been with us through it all.

Here is our story, and some context for those out of the loop.

In the summer of 2017, I was working at a popular arcade in SE Portland. Damn near every Sunday, the literal man of my dreams, (and two of his friends) would come in, and when he’d be coming or going from the front doors, Brian would bestow me with flirty glances. Between his long, Navajo hair, engaging eyes, and the obscure horror merch he’d wear, I felt like the most cliche’ 80’s teen movie victim of love at first sight. Weak knees, sweaty palms, ‘Dream Weaver’ playing off in the distance while I stared longingly. Stuttering through small talk about the weather or his favorite arcade game (Tempest) was rapidly becoming something I’d look forward to every Sunday shift. Finally, a good friend and coworker of mine did me the biggest solid of my life and handed him a handwritten note from me with my number on it while he stood at a cabinet down the hall… I felt like I was gonna pass out. He texted me one week later when I was on the max on a rare rainy summer day heading into the burbs where I was living with my friends and kiddo… He mentioned getting ready to watch Twin Peaks with his friends that night and well… Twin Peaks is one of like, 5 things I care about so, that was it… I knew it was too late to turn back.

When it was time to introduce my then 9 year old daughter to this handsome new stranger, I was nervous and hesitant due to the recent loss of my mom and recent breakup from an abuser. Relationships, connections and change had all become more complicated than ever, and I didn’t want to put my daughter or myself back into the line of fire that getting to know a key player can be… All that worry had proven to be for nought though, as within a few short months of Bug’s introduction to Brian, they had discovered that the two of them had more in common than I did with either of them, and now… well, she’s his kid too. Their bond is unmatched.

All that happy, sappiness aside, there had always been the looming presence of my deteriorating health. Complications from Polycystic Kidney Disease and a hefty handful of autoimmune diseases—and related symptoms (including the mental and emotional decline that ebbs and flows between bad and worse while battling chronic illness) became imminent, and for awhile there, I had FAR more bad days than good… During the worst of those times, Brian helped me in ways no one has, and saw me vulnerable in ways no one else ever will. He went without to ensure that my daughter and I would not, and even got me the DNA test that connected me to an entire side of my biological family that I had never met before… and now, some of those family members are mine and my daughters closest friends and allies. Everything he has done for us is how we got through the last several years with my health so poor, and the money so tight… Neither Brian or myself can say no to an animal that needs rescuing, so having animals in the double digits has ~also~ been a contributor to our money struggles (I know- we did that to ourselves), and though we wouldn’t change a thing, two people with ginormous hearts can conjure up a lot of debt helping others, and between that and illness… we could really use a break.

All that said, we are not expecting a whole bunch of donations on this thing… we have learned to be frugal and to settle for the kinda fun we can whip up at home… But one thing we share in common is a dream to see more of the world, and we are hoping with the gifts we receive we can at least raise enough funds to help us through some wedding expenses, but most importantly, help with passports so that we can plan for a Mexico honeymoon to see parts of both of our ancestral homeland that neither of us have been able to experience.

So again, maybe this isn’t the most conventional thing to ask for before a wedding, but our lives are far from conventional, and at the end of the day, we are a family consisting of disabled, BIPOC, low income folks with a kid and a bunch of animals, and its so important for folks like us to be reminded of the fact that there is more to life than stressing about vet bills, health insurance and rising costs of living on a street that our vehicles get stolen and broken into on the reg… We are ready to make some memories that don’t include flashbacks to worry… We will continue to strive for that on our own, but if your were wondering how you could contribute to the best day ever (for us), this is the kinda gift that can make that happen. Our wedding day is November 18th 2023, so we have a ton to do in a short time, anything helps!

If you read all of this, THANK YOU…. WE LOVE OUR COMMUNITY SO MUCH. Can’t wait to make this official and to be able to share what we make of it with you.

Tawni