Tam - terminal cancer & in palliative care

Hi, I'm Roslyn Jan & I'm fundraising for my good friends Tam & Craig. I worked with Craig at Chase Manhattan Bank in 1996-1999 in Australia. We have remained good friends since. I met his lovely Thai wife Tam in 2014 & unfortunately she has terminal Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma. Craig is caring for her at home, providing palliative care. They have exhausted all of their savings & just need some funds to live on.

Thank you for listening. Love Roz XXX

Nasopharyngeal cancer is a rare type of cancer that affects the part of the throat connecting the back of the nose to the back of the mouth (the pharynx).

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"Hi folks.

For those who don't know me, I'm Craig. Tam's husband of 8 years.

 

I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. Sadly that's not the case. My wife has terminal cancer. Often in life, there's no way to sugarcoat things. It is what it is.

 

I've likely got 10 seconds of your time. Without wasting any of it, I urge you to watch this video.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I36qEnDHaLY

 

If you managed to make it all of the way through and aren't reaching for your credit card, I've probably lost you already.

 

That's OK. Asking strangers for money is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Not quite, but it comes close.

 

The video tells the story of my wife's demise fairly well.

 

A woman who was once full of love and laughter was robbed of everything. She has no quality of life anymore. All the simple pleasures she once enjoyed have been extinguished. Her favourite foods, going for a walk or a weekend away. Long since gone.

 

Hidden in there was also our ability to pack a lot into the good years together. For that, I'm eternally grateful.

 

I believe we were destined to meet in this lifetime. A fortune-teller told us we met in a previous life and I've promised her I will find her in the next one.

 

Such is my love for her.

 

The word wife doesn't even begin to describe what she is to me.

 

My paramour, inamorata, muse. My everything.

 

It's hard to describe the roller-coaster ride we've taken since her diagnosis. Chemotherapy, Radiotherapy, raw juicing, false hope, shamans, and more than a little bargaining with the devil on my part.

 

I would still give my life for hers. Sadly, it's not an option.

 

We've been doing it pretty tough for some time now. Living on hand-outs. I figure we've done everything we need to do before asking for your help - exhausted our savings, sold the car and all her jewelry except for her wedding and engagement rings.

 

We're trying to raise enough money to cover the basics for the next three months.

 

Enough to keep a roof over our head, the AC running, and some food in our belly. Oh, and the cats fed. They're one of the few remaining things which provide her with any joy these days.

 

In all likelihood, this covers my wife's end-of-life period.

 

She's told me she's sick of living like this.

 

We've discussed funeral plans and selected the dress she wants to be cremated in.

 

Conversations no one wants to have.

 

It's been a difficult journey that's lasted for almost two and a half years now.

 

The only positive I can find is that in a time of absolute crisis you will likely discover the best version of yourself.

 

I've found a strength I never knew I had. Able to do what others can't or won't.

 

I'd like to think I've done some good caring for her since she was diagnosed and am asking the universe for a little assistance.

 

If you're not in a position to donate please help share our message to as wide an audience as possible.

 

I'm sure we'll find the people we need.

 

My wife Tam was diagnosed with Nasopharyngeal carcinoma in early 2020. The 5 year survival rate is 50%.

 

It's now terminal. She's 45 years old. It's no age.

 

She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. Not so much on the outside now. She's blind in one eye, has a hearing aid and her face is distorted. She weighs 30 kg. A bag of bones. Everything we could do as a couple has been taken away from us. I feed her four times a day through a nasogastric tube.

 

She takes morphine constantly and sometimes it only dulls the pain.

 

Her day consists of getting up at 9 AM, sitting and watching TV, often Buddhist sermons, while being fed and going to bed at 5 PM.

 

There are times I don't know what more I can do to ease her pain but remain by her side.

 

But as I've told her - beauty fades eventually. Courage doesn't. She is the most courageous woman I will ever meet.

 

As hard as it is caring for her, it's nothing compared to what she's going through.

 

Thanks for your time.

Craig"