Sweet JV

John was born in Colorado Springs on January 17, 1975. 

July 17, 2020  Friday morning at 9:33am John passed in my arms. I played music and reminded him of all the friends and family who love him and hold him dear.  Carol & Cory were able to come from Colorado to spend John's final days with us together as a family. Thank you all for loving him. 

Accepting donations to cover the cost of funeral.
All are appreciated and nothing is too small.
I understand 2020 is hard for everyone

John Versluis's funeral service was held Friday July 24th, 2pm
City of Santa Monica Woodlawn Cemetery, Mausoleum & Mortuary
1847 14th Street
Santa Monica CA 90404

We are limited to 10 people due to COVID.
Others are welcome to visit immediately following the small service. (3pm)

Post memories here to be read at his service. Much appreciated! 

Please email me any photos of John you may have, my email is my [email redacted]
MichelleKunzelmann

On June 5th John went to the hospital after spending 5 months at home alone.

He was experiencing pain in December. Over the next few months John limited contact mostly to texting, and was having a lot of trouble with weakness, some confusion, and trying to navigate our complicated medical system. John went to urgent care to seek help for the pain, and also called the hospital trying to get help. He was told he needed a primary medical care provider. I hate to say I know how confused he was, as our family doesn't seek much medical help.  As John continued to decline and try to locate a primary medical care provider, he did what he could alone to manage his pain and care.

I'm sure this was a scary time for him as he was just starting to recover from losing one of his best friends last year. He was also in the process of rebuilding his life, in a new home and new job. Near the end of his life John was paying more attention to politics and our system and trying to find ways to make a positive impact on humanity. In his final days John expressed to me some disappointment, saying he knew he could have done more with his life. He also expressed how much he hoped to gain strength and be able to do more. We were just beginning to look into immune therapy option possibilities.

I look forward to creating a timeline of John's life complete with pictures and stories.
He was a man to be honored and I told him at the end many times,
"I respect you more than I love you".

I believe he touched a lot of hearts and souls as he was always kind and compassionate towards others. He was unique in many ways. His intelligence was his biggest source of pride and anyone who knew John growing up understood he was a genius. John's passions in life were video games, music, learning, and spending time with family and friends. Unfortunately no matter how strong our talents are, we all have areas we struggle. John's biggest struggle in life was completing boring paperwork. 

I will always treasure this past month I had with John.

John moved back to LA on June 19th when he left the hospital after being diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma. He was told treatment was not possible given his weakened state. John lost over 100 lbs during those months at home. Even if he had been strong, we were told this type of cancer is not very responsive for treatment. John's doctor advised hospice care and I was told to look for a skilled nursing facility. Due to covid and John not being over 65 that sounded like an awful plan. I didn't want his final days surrounded by another generation and having no visitors. We found John an apartment in my building and moved him into his own place, with hospice care, and me being present daily to cook and care for him and help manage the medications. 

Had I known how short our time was, I would have prioritized the paperwork that needed to be completed. Out of respect and being gentle with John, I tried to pace myself and take care of things in the order he wanted me to. It was sad that as the medication changes happened, John quickly lost the ability to communicate properly. Luckily we had a chance to discuss his final wishes. However, there is no will, no power of attorney was completed, and I've been informed that 401K and Life insurance beneficiary were left blank. 

I'm struggling. I've had a lot of contempt and disgust with our system. 
Medical system, legal system, education system and politics.
John and I had many conversations over the years of how difficult it is to navigate. 

Despite weeks in the hospital with 2 social worker case managers (who only pushed me to have him discharged once we decided on hospice), and a month in hospice care - - No one helped me to get in contact with someone to provide the power of attorney paperwork. I honestly thought we would have months, and was working to feed him to help him regain strength. It was only the last week of his life, after John could not complete any power of attorney or changes on important papers that I was told Life Insurance and 401K were in place, and without any name.........

I'm his in case of emergency person and I've been dealing with an emergency since John called me on June 4, 2 days after my birthday. That phone call was him reaching out for help, finally. I had a wellness check done and a month and a half later here I am. I've found a peaceful place and made plans that honor John's final wishes.   When I asked him in the hospital "If you could do a anything today, what would you do?", he replied "probably some quantum physics".  

The last couple weeks were very difficult. On Wednesday evening John sat up and gave me one final gigantic hug as I cried my eyes out in front of him. We knew it was his end, and there were thousands of words exchanged between us in that hug. So much we didn't say in these past weeks, as we were delicate with each other knowing what a tragedy this was.