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This is for all my friends who have expressed so much interest in my last post here on FB. When I asked for you all to keep Susan and me in your prayers, so many of you have messaged me asking what’s going on. I didn’t have a way to get online long enough to answer you all back so I have chosen to do it this way. I thank you all for your concern, and well wishes, and for your friendship. I do truly have the best friends in the world. If you know me then you also know how much pride I have in myself and my family.
Since devoting myself to God our lord and savior last year, I have learned that being prideful is never a good thing in the Bible. In my concordance pride is mentioned 63 times in the bible and in only two verses is it a good thing. Only when we are proud of our God does it seem to be a positive trait. Knowing this and those of you who know me will understand how difficult these next paragraphs will be for me to share in this public forum.
On my birthday in July this year I was given a pink slip at my work. I wasn’t given a reason other than project downsizing. I guess I’m a victim of last hired first fired. Susan as you all may know is no longer walking without the aid of a walker. Her scoliosis is progressing way faster than we could have anticipated. Despite her Master’s degree she is not able to find work in our area. I have been supporting us both since October last year. I don’t mind this part as this is what I vowed to God when I married her, “For Richer or Poorer, In Sickness and in Health”.
We have filed for disability for her but; you all know how our government works on this subject. She has been denied multiple times now, and because of her degree they say she should be able to work from home. They failed however to tell us where such jobs exist. I have not shared any of this with anyone but my family up until now and they are not in any position to be able to offer us any assistance.
Our ten year old Labrador “Sasha” is also suffering from our predicament as she has severe allergies and requires special medicine and zero grain food to alleviate her symptoms. I can no longer afford to provide the food, medicine, and treatment, which she needs to stave off her symptoms. She is forever loyal. What a good dog she is. Even though she is chewing her coat off and breaking out in patches all over her skin, she loves us and as always she is never more than arms reach from me. All I can do is love her, hug her, pet her, and brush her coat, to try to scratch and cover the bald patches she has chewed on herself.
So now it comes to this. The reference to my earlier post I made a couple of days ago. I have been out of work since July and we have depleted all of our savings and reserves trying to stay afloat. I have already placed hundreds of applications since my birthday on July 14th for just about any type of job I can find that I might be qualified to do. Despite my dogged determination I have had no luck. We have applied for assistance from the government despite my pride and my wish to never require such assistance in the form of social welfare. I guess that there is truth in the saying “never say never”. I applied for unemployment insurance but, it will only pay me about a third of what I was making. It’s better than nothing but, only barely.
We don’t qualify for much assistance due to how much I made when I was working. I’m still not really sure why that amount matters, it’s not like we can live “now”, off of what I made last year. Somewhere in the next 10 to 15 days we will lose our apartment after being dragged into court over non-payment of the rent and then we become homeless. It’s strange to come to realize that we are probably all just one bad cold or one medical process away from losing all we have. It doesn’t seem to matter much to us as long as all the wheels and cogs are spinning as they should. I mean how can you prepare for so much of the unknown?
They have already shut off our internet this week without which it makes it even more difficult to find a job. Next will be my cell phone, we already shut Susan’s off in an effort to save money. Without a cell phone the job hunt comes to a standstill. Next we stand to lose our car. When we lose our apartment we will lose our belongings as we have no place to store them. It’s like we are about to begin starring in our own version of “The Hunger Games” and neither of us are equipped to live like this. I fear for what comes next.
The government in Raleigh gave us an EBT card which is our modern day digital food stamps supply. The problem with this is, it only provides food that can be prepared on a stove at home and must be stored in refrigeration units, both of which we lose when we lose our home. You can’t purchase paper products or medicines, or female sanitary supplies, or already prepared foods with it. I don’t see how this will help us when we have no home, stove, refrigerator, dishes, pots, or pans, to cook with. All the things that we all take for granted.
It’s funny that it doesn’t matter how much we plan for the future and try to insulate ourselves from the possibility that we, any of us could end up without… and we look upon those people standing on the street corners holding “I’m Homeless” signs and we think to ourselves from the comfort of our cars, I could never do that, or that’ll never be me, or wondering what kind of scam these people are running. Well I am beginning to realize that Susan and I are nearly living proof that this can happen to anyone despite any preparations we make to forestall this event.
Those of you who truly know me know that I would never openly share these details much less post them publicly on face book. Until I awoke this morning from a nightmare that revealed me pushing Susan along a city street sitting atop her walker while she’s holding a sign that said just that… “We are Homeless Please Help”. Trust me my friends this was an extremely rude awakening. I also worry about Sasha because she is terrified of thunder and lightning. I don’t know how she will fare outside now that she has been indoors for the last few years since we rescued her.
We have contacted several local churches, The Salvation Army, and other operations to assist with people fallen from grace in our society. They assist with rent payments and some offer food pantries that offer simple small staples of food, again only food that can be fixed in a proper kitchen. They can only help you once a year monetarily and only for a percentage of what you really need. There are so many now-a-days that need this help it makes these resources grow thin. Though I am grateful for these people and the services they provide, it’s merely akin to putting a band-aid on an arterial spray. The patient will still die if nothing else works in their favor.
So this brings me to my first statement about pride. Pride is something we hold in our hearts and minds. Something that we think cannot be taken from us. I believed this up until recently, when I learned that my pride may possibly be partially to blame for the nightmare we are now living through. I have always had a job since I was young and have always been devoted to my work, I had a plan. I have never considered for even a moment that this could happen to me. I am trying to live up to my commitment to God and serving his word laid down in the Bible.
If my pride is to be the first sacrifice that I must make to truly follow my religion then so-be-it. Thus now my pride is stripped away, I make this post in hopes that my true friends will now know what’s going on and I hope there is truth to be found in the two verses below. I must admit that though I pray regularly, the happenings of late are truly testing my faith and the beliefs that I have been leaning on. I don’t know when I will be able to address any replies to this post but, know that I love you all and pray that none of this will ever come to pass for any of you and may God Bless you all.
If you took the time to read through all of this - I thank you... most wont get past the first couple of paragraphs.
Proverbs 11:2 – When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 29:23 – Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.
Since devoting myself to God our lord and savior last year, I have learned that being prideful is never a good thing in the Bible. In my concordance pride is mentioned 63 times in the bible and in only two verses is it a good thing. Only when we are proud of our God does it seem to be a positive trait. Knowing this and those of you who know me will understand how difficult these next paragraphs will be for me to share in this public forum.
On my birthday in July this year I was given a pink slip at my work. I wasn’t given a reason other than project downsizing. I guess I’m a victim of last hired first fired. Susan as you all may know is no longer walking without the aid of a walker. Her scoliosis is progressing way faster than we could have anticipated. Despite her Master’s degree she is not able to find work in our area. I have been supporting us both since October last year. I don’t mind this part as this is what I vowed to God when I married her, “For Richer or Poorer, In Sickness and in Health”.
We have filed for disability for her but; you all know how our government works on this subject. She has been denied multiple times now, and because of her degree they say she should be able to work from home. They failed however to tell us where such jobs exist. I have not shared any of this with anyone but my family up until now and they are not in any position to be able to offer us any assistance.
Our ten year old Labrador “Sasha” is also suffering from our predicament as she has severe allergies and requires special medicine and zero grain food to alleviate her symptoms. I can no longer afford to provide the food, medicine, and treatment, which she needs to stave off her symptoms. She is forever loyal. What a good dog she is. Even though she is chewing her coat off and breaking out in patches all over her skin, she loves us and as always she is never more than arms reach from me. All I can do is love her, hug her, pet her, and brush her coat, to try to scratch and cover the bald patches she has chewed on herself.
So now it comes to this. The reference to my earlier post I made a couple of days ago. I have been out of work since July and we have depleted all of our savings and reserves trying to stay afloat. I have already placed hundreds of applications since my birthday on July 14th for just about any type of job I can find that I might be qualified to do. Despite my dogged determination I have had no luck. We have applied for assistance from the government despite my pride and my wish to never require such assistance in the form of social welfare. I guess that there is truth in the saying “never say never”. I applied for unemployment insurance but, it will only pay me about a third of what I was making. It’s better than nothing but, only barely.
We don’t qualify for much assistance due to how much I made when I was working. I’m still not really sure why that amount matters, it’s not like we can live “now”, off of what I made last year. Somewhere in the next 10 to 15 days we will lose our apartment after being dragged into court over non-payment of the rent and then we become homeless. It’s strange to come to realize that we are probably all just one bad cold or one medical process away from losing all we have. It doesn’t seem to matter much to us as long as all the wheels and cogs are spinning as they should. I mean how can you prepare for so much of the unknown?
They have already shut off our internet this week without which it makes it even more difficult to find a job. Next will be my cell phone, we already shut Susan’s off in an effort to save money. Without a cell phone the job hunt comes to a standstill. Next we stand to lose our car. When we lose our apartment we will lose our belongings as we have no place to store them. It’s like we are about to begin starring in our own version of “The Hunger Games” and neither of us are equipped to live like this. I fear for what comes next.
The government in Raleigh gave us an EBT card which is our modern day digital food stamps supply. The problem with this is, it only provides food that can be prepared on a stove at home and must be stored in refrigeration units, both of which we lose when we lose our home. You can’t purchase paper products or medicines, or female sanitary supplies, or already prepared foods with it. I don’t see how this will help us when we have no home, stove, refrigerator, dishes, pots, or pans, to cook with. All the things that we all take for granted.
It’s funny that it doesn’t matter how much we plan for the future and try to insulate ourselves from the possibility that we, any of us could end up without… and we look upon those people standing on the street corners holding “I’m Homeless” signs and we think to ourselves from the comfort of our cars, I could never do that, or that’ll never be me, or wondering what kind of scam these people are running. Well I am beginning to realize that Susan and I are nearly living proof that this can happen to anyone despite any preparations we make to forestall this event.
Those of you who truly know me know that I would never openly share these details much less post them publicly on face book. Until I awoke this morning from a nightmare that revealed me pushing Susan along a city street sitting atop her walker while she’s holding a sign that said just that… “We are Homeless Please Help”. Trust me my friends this was an extremely rude awakening. I also worry about Sasha because she is terrified of thunder and lightning. I don’t know how she will fare outside now that she has been indoors for the last few years since we rescued her.
We have contacted several local churches, The Salvation Army, and other operations to assist with people fallen from grace in our society. They assist with rent payments and some offer food pantries that offer simple small staples of food, again only food that can be fixed in a proper kitchen. They can only help you once a year monetarily and only for a percentage of what you really need. There are so many now-a-days that need this help it makes these resources grow thin. Though I am grateful for these people and the services they provide, it’s merely akin to putting a band-aid on an arterial spray. The patient will still die if nothing else works in their favor.
So this brings me to my first statement about pride. Pride is something we hold in our hearts and minds. Something that we think cannot be taken from us. I believed this up until recently, when I learned that my pride may possibly be partially to blame for the nightmare we are now living through. I have always had a job since I was young and have always been devoted to my work, I had a plan. I have never considered for even a moment that this could happen to me. I am trying to live up to my commitment to God and serving his word laid down in the Bible.
If my pride is to be the first sacrifice that I must make to truly follow my religion then so-be-it. Thus now my pride is stripped away, I make this post in hopes that my true friends will now know what’s going on and I hope there is truth to be found in the two verses below. I must admit that though I pray regularly, the happenings of late are truly testing my faith and the beliefs that I have been leaning on. I don’t know when I will be able to address any replies to this post but, know that I love you all and pray that none of this will ever come to pass for any of you and may God Bless you all.
If you took the time to read through all of this - I thank you... most wont get past the first couple of paragraphs.
Proverbs 11:2 – When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 29:23 – Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.
Organizer
Brian Staley
Organizer
Cary, NC