The last year and a half has been hard—but these last few weeks, counting down to another surgery, have been the heaviest. I’ve been pushing myself, pretending I’m okay when I’m really scared and tired. People see the bell I rang and think cancer disappears,  but it doesn’t (The disease does but the effects doesn't). It lingers in the fears, the bills, the doctor calls, and the scars no one sees.
 Now, as I prepare for another reconstructive surgery for what I call the Pink Monster, I feel that old mix of fear and fight rising up again. Not just fear of the surgery, but of losing stability, stepping away from work, and not being in control. I’ve always been the one to figure it out, to stay strong—but even strength gets tired. They call it functioning depression, and I know it well. I smile, I show up, I keep moving but inside, I’m balancing anxiety, exhaustion, and the stress of uncertainty. The disability process has been delayed again, and with the government shutdown, everything is moving slower than ever. Short-term disability barely stretches far enough to keep the lights on (nevermind surviving) and though I’m grateful, it’s hard not to feel the weight of it all. The waiting, the worrying, the what-ifs.... It's a different kind of battle, one you can’t see. Cancer may have taken pieces of my body, but the waiting chips away at your spirit.
 This journey taught me that surviving doesn’t mean it’s over it means finding the courage to keep going, even when you’re still healing. It means asking for help when your pride wants you to stay silent. I never imagined I’d be here again, balancing recovery, motherhood, and faith while learning to rest without guilt. Anything shared, prayed, or sent my way means more than I can ever express. Thank you for seeing me, believing in me, and helping me continue to survive her—the Pink Monster.
 #CancerBellz #LifeinChaos #SurviveHER