Ahoy hoy. My name is Kimber B. I'm making this fundraiser for Michael because he is proud, determined, and struggles to ask for help. Even when he needs help to the tune of $75,000 to help pay his cancer bills.
I asked Michael to write a description of his cancer story...and I'm going to post that, too. But bear with me for just a moment. When I first met Michael, it was at Wizard World Chicago where we were both vendors and he thought I was trying to poach a mutual friends table. I swear, I thought he was going to kill me. He was prepared to take me down, 1000%, if I was harming our mutual friend. Then once he realized I was working with said mutual friend that I was a friend to him, and he was going to support me and be loyal to me in any way he could.
My friendship with Michael has been reflective of that loyalty. Michael has designed t-shirts and buttons for an LGBTQ advocacy group I'm affiliated with free of charge and without me having to ask. He has offered me a place to sleep when I needed it. And he has donated monetarily to the medical fundraisers of people in my life simply because they were people in my life, which means to him they're good people.
When I first learned that Michael had cancer, I was devastated in a way that I could never show him to his face. He was already fighting and trying and trying to survive for himself, it would have been unfair to ask him to carry the way I felt, too. So I'd post the cute memes, and send check in messages, and silently burst into tears when I would see photos of him looking sicker and sicker popping up on my facebook feed, terrified for my dear friend. It was some of the best news any of us in Michael's life could have received to learn that he's cancer free. The world needs Michael in it, he's too good and doing good for so many people.
And then I learned how much he was still in debt I was unwilling to sit idly by. I made this page because Michael would do the same for me. I will donate to this page because Michael would do the same for me. And I hope you donate because you know he would do the same for you, or your friend, or your mom, or your partner. Michael is the person who has shown us all kindness, love, and support completely unconditionally. And even if we can collectively make a small dent for him I know he will be grateful.
Surviving cancer is hard, surviving late stage capitalism is hard. Let's all take care of each other in a way that works, yeah?
I'm going to turn it over to Michael's telling of events now. Please give what you can if you can <3 <3
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CW for descriptions and images of medical content, healthcare, mortality, and fear of losing people you love.
...
On 6/6/2018, I got the best news of my life so far: I officially beat cancer.
Beginning in fall of 2017, I had been treating Stage IV Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and while I had the best possible outcome, it came at a price.
Thankfully my mental and emotional state have actually improved through this process as I learned more and more about myself in the struggle, but because of the sheer cost of my treatment and my ill timed timed unemployment, I have to admit that I'm in fairly a fairly dire financial position.
The VERY long story, which I've gladly written here, is that through 10 months of treatment, 22 days admitted in the hospital, a dozen imaging scans, 12 infusions of chemo, and more blood draws and pills taken than I ever want to count... I was billed nearly $700,000 and after appeals and financial aid, was finally found resposible for $75,000 in healthcare costs.
I am not someone who admits that they need help easily. I am even less inclined to ask for said help, and then even less than THAT to accept said help.
But I need help.
I had been dealing with some seriously chronic back pain since late 2016, and had been in active treatment for it since February of 2017. On Friday 10/27/2017, I finally got my doctor to get me to an MRI as my quality of life had severely dropped over the previous 2 weeks and I was basically immobile.
Shortly before this date, I had been let go from my job. A situation that has still not been fixed. While I am helping develop a game application, we have struggled with managing income and finances as that project doesn't pay, and my partner Kristen is a grad student, and that pay isn't awesome.
That MRI revealed that I had a tumor (about the size of a lemon) wraped around my spine around the T-12 area, which had weakened my vertrae. After being admitted to the hospital that day and some additional (INCREDIBLY painful scans) it was determined that an emergency removal and spinal fusion surgery was necessary. Had we put things off even a day or two, the surgeon believed I would have been paralyzed.
I now have 5 titanium rods and 9 pins in my spine, which is technologically amazing, but was an exhausting procedure that I am still recovering from. The scar is fairly cool though!
I was in a full torso TLSO brace for months, and had to use a walker for a time as well. I did 16 rounds of physical therapy, and continue to do daily stretches and exercises to work on regaining strength and stability.
My "estimated" date for "full" recovery is December of this year. It was a huge surgery. But tht was just the start.
While I was in recovery from the surgery, the surgeons and oncologists were diagnosing the rest of my scans and the mass they removed from my spine. The conclusion was that I had Stage 4 Hodgkin's Lympoma.
I was prescribed a chemo regimen that called for 12 infusions of chemo over 6 months, following a protocol called "ABVD." We successfully fought my insurance company and got coverage approval for replacing one of the older (and more dangerous) chemotherapy compounds with a new one, that works faster, easier, and has a terrific cure rate.
I managed to get through 2 treatments (and 3 hospitalizations) with the full run of drugs before I had to be taken off the new one, as I was having an adverse reaction to it.
Through all of that, I was looking for work. Contract, freelance, remote... You'd be surprised how quickly a company that was interested in hiring you for anything disappears when you get to a discussion on health. Or maybe you wouldn't be. Now that I'm done with treatment and I'm clear, I am trying to get back into the world and find work, but in the meantime, we got final determinations on our medical bills and thankfully got the total reduced from about $700,000 down to $75,000 but... That leaves us in need of help.
I HATE having to admit this, but we need help. I know that nobody holds that against us, but it's hard to say.
I got a bill the other day for yet another $1000, and I actually said aloud "The worst financial decision of my life is surviving."
That's a shitty place to be, mentally.
I have always been so proud of my role in life being the person who takes care of their friends and family, and strangers. I love giving. That's just how I'm wired... But I have to ask this time.
I don't want ANYONE to feel obligated to help me, and I certainly don't want people to hurt themselves helping me. But if you CAN help us, I would appreciate it forever.
I have about 6 months to a year of recovery from the chemo itself, it does that much damage, but as part of our celebration of me being clear, I do want to disclose that Kristen and I are taking a trip to Europe this summer. Kristen had to go regardless for work/school, so we pulled some cash and paid for me to join her. I just didn't want anyone to feel taken advantage of or tricked.
I'm going to be okay, long term, and I'm so happy I'm alive. If I can get back to life as usual sooner rather than later, I would be overjoyed. If that means funds here to help us pay this down, or a reference for a job... Basically, please and thank you.
Thank you, no matter what. Beating cancer is not a solo thing. Support and well wishes and prayers and vibes and food and phone calls and everything... It all helped me. And I can't thank you enough for that already.
Thank you.