Support Rowan's Gender Affirming Top Surgery

Four years ago, as I lay relaxing in bed, my beloved husband walked into the room mumbling that he had to share something with me. He had recently been experiencing a time of darkness so I was unsure of what he was going to say —although for some unexplained reason, I intuitively knew he was about to come out as transgender.

Minutes later, after those words left his mouth, I responded with, "I love you." And I do — he's quiet, gentle, generous, steadfast, intelligent, and truly brilliant. I love him for who he is, and that wouldn't change. 


We spent the rest of the evening discussing what life would look like for him and for us, amidst all of the changes. He was excited to live in a body that was his and I reassured him I love him unconditionally. Mostly, we were dreaming about a life of joy.

That winter he declared his new name, Rowan, and began using he/him pronouns. The following spring he started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), while patiently anticipating Top Surgery knowing the financial predicament of it.

After much research, Rowan decided that when the time came, he would go to Dr. Garramone, a well known and highly respected FTM Top Surgery surgeon. Located in Florida, an operation with Dr. Garramone requires travel fees in addition to surgery. However, based on the data, Dr. Garramone has some of the best, most consistent results for FTM patients.  The lifelong benefits of a successful surgery would be worth it.

Alas, year goes by without being able to save.

Feeling discouraged from consistently being misgendered, while desperately needing to feel comfortable in his body, Rowan decided to crowdfund his surgery during the summer of 2017. With the kindness and generosity of many, we were able to raise $1500. However, we were still very short of the $11,000 needed ($9275 for surgery + flights and hotel stay for the one week post-op appt). 

(NOTE: Rowan's place of work covers 70% of trans related healthcare. Rowan's doctor does not accept insurance. We will have to pay up front and submit paperwork after surgery for the insurance approval and reimbursement. Rowan will be off of work for 8 weeks post-op for healing, largely unpaid with the exception of vacation/PTO days taken. With insurance approval, we'll rely on the reimbursement to assist us financially during that time.)

And so, with a nest egg in hand, we remained enthusiastic — only to be met with a year of financial hardship during 2018. 

Now, as I observe Rowan becoming increasingly eager to feel at home in his body,  exasperated by the invalidation of ongoing misgendering, IT IS TIME. Patience and hope are no longer serving my dear husband. He's ready to LIVE, and I am dedicated to helping him get there.

We set the intention for Rowan's surgery to be January 2020. 

With this in mind, we've diligently worked to add an additional $1500 to our savings during 2019, totaling $3000. With upcoming overtime for Ro, we expect to be able save another ~$1K before January. We're also grateful for the travel points I've accumulated via destination weddings / traveling for work, as this should cover our flights and accommodations. 

Rowan and I have been together for nearly 13 years. He has encouraged and supported me through everything — including my big leap into full time entrepreneurship, even when it was full of risk. To be partnered with a human who gracefully uplifts and balances me simultaneously, loves me unconditionally, and has been endlessly loyal to me, is an undeserving gift that I treasure. Over the last 4 years, I've remained an optimist, reassuring his surgery would come. Now it's time to act; to hold him up, to make it happen. He deserves to feel content with his body for the first time in his life — and to have a wholesome, fulfilling future.

I put away my pride to ask for help once again. $5K will be life-changing for Rowan. I can see it now: his toil turned to triumph, his cloak replaced with comfort, and the ear-to-ear beaming smile of my proud husband. I cannot wait to witness his liberation and experience our newfound life together.

If you are able to give monetarily, no donation is too small (or too large ;)) — and we send you our utmost gratitude. If you aren't able to give, your positive energy/vibrations for goodness to come his way are invited and appreciated. And of course, we'd be so thankful to everyone who shared this campaign!

Let's do this!