Supporting Rudi's Family Through Crisis

As a die hard boot strapper it is hard to ask for help. Really hard. It almost feels like giving up your independence. Yet, if I am honest with myself, I could really use some help. So, I am going to swallow my pride and ask for your help. Why am I asking for your help at this time? I will try to explain as thoroughly and succinctly as possible.

For those of you that don't know I have 4 kids who are now 16, 12, 10, and 8. Five years ago when the pandemic came along it exposed undiagnosed and untreated mental health issues we had in our family. Our home environment was never easy, but the pandemic pushed us over the edge. And with as many kids as I have, the situation was incredibly intense.

Don't get me wrong, I am super grateful for what the pandemic exposed. It took what was a slow-moving situation that was heading to a big problem, probably a lifetime of problems, and forced it to accelerate to a big problem in a much shorter time frame. This forced me to make changes on my kid’s behalf that I don't think I would have otherwise been able to make, changes in myself and how we operate as a family. And just as importantly, at a critical time in their lives when these interventions would have the biggest chance of success. On this front I have been wildly successful.

Due to the efforts I have made, today my kids are thriving. We went from many, many psychiatric hospitalizations and intense mental health interventions to a place where my kids are happy and healthy in every sense of the word, and on track to a lifetime of personal happiness and success.

However, committing myself to the well-being of the children and working to change the direction of their lives has left me in tough spot financially. Here’s why.

As I said the situation itself was intense, and it required me to focus intensely on the kids and what they needed. Mental health situations don't resolve in weeks or months. It takes years of dedicated, focused parenting to turn a situation like ours around. We had many hospital interventions, police interventions, rides in the ambulance, and intense mental health treatment. From October of 2020 through July of 2024, I had full custody of all 4 kids. Even now that the custody situation has changed, I still often have at least one child with me at all times.

It was basically impossible for me to work in a meaningful way while at the same time dedicating myself to changing the mental health picture in my family. Especially alone and with 4 young children. I was constantly on call to deal with crises, of which there were many. The focus required for me to be able to get the family situation turned around meant that I didn't have the required focus to be able to work at the same time.

The pace at which I had to operate for years to deal with the constant crisis brought on by severe mental health issues left me completely burned out, fried, and a shell of my former self by the time I was able to get the situation stabilized. This coupled with extremely high out-of-pocket mental health costs and astronomical legal expenses has left us in a tough spot.

However, I finally have the situation enough in hand where I can truly get back after it at work. But I am rebuilding financially from scratch (negative scratch). And I don’t mind that either. No one said it was supposed to be easy. I work from a place of gratitude. I am eternally grateful for the opportunity that was given to me to have this big of an impact in my kids’ lives. I am grateful to all the staff and teachers at the Midland Park Public Schools, the kind and understanding officers at the MPPD, the MP Ambulance Corps, the MP community at large, and not least of all my family and friends who supported me along the way through this very trying time.

But almost 5 years of this has me in a bind, and I could really use your help to secure our housing situation. I am trying to avoid a scenario where we would lose our home. My kids have been through a lot, and I wish for nothing more than to be able to ensure they avoid another trauma in losing the only home they’ve ever known.

I need your help to get us on solid footing and out of the cycle of choosing between financial well-being and emotional well-being. Losing their home would be a big blow for the kids emotionally. Continuing to maintain stability in their housing is of the utmost importance to me and I can’t do it without your help. The rest we can figure out along the way.

If you’ve made it this far, I thank you for taking the time to read this. And if you feel compelled to help us out, I will be eternally grateful for your generosity towards us.

Thanks,

Rudi Oosting