Supporting Rosa in Crisis and Grief

Update: my mom has been sent to the ICU in the hospital for internal bleeding. The doctors have remedied it for now but she is being committed to 24/7 hospice care today. I would really like to see her before she passes. I plan on getting a flight to visit next Friday. I cannot normally afford this anymore with my new expenses, please help me see her before she dies. I don't know how much time she has left.

Hello everyone.. some of you may know me as Toothpaste or Minty. Some of you may have known me under a different first name. My name is Rosa Ochoa. I'm a woman trying to make it completely on my own in Southern California for the first time and I'm having the hardest time of my life.

I have more recently stepped away from professional fighting game tournaments and tried to be more financially and emotionally stable and pursue my passions in life. I have also tried to make sure with my newfound free time I spend it helping others in awful situations where people turn the other cheek. I successfully helped so many people in just 4 months and I don't know how I came about doing so but I did and I'm happy that my new friends have come to better living situations and states in their lives.

I am now in a position where I don't know where to turn or who to ask for help for myself in this overwhelming grief filled moment in my life.

It is really hard for me to ask for help from others honestly. I feel like I have basically no other option aside from that at this point. There's just so much on my plate right now and I just want it to stop.

My mother has suffered from two strokes and her health is deteriorating

I'm also in a predicament where I don't have the greatest living situation and it is causing me a lot of distress in my day to day life. My living situation has caused me health problems with how much stress it has caused me over the course of 6 months, I don't really want to disclose full details out of fear that I could just get kicked out over another argument or disagreement with my current roommate. I really need to get out of here before my blood pressure gets any worse at this point. My last blood pressure reading, I checked was 143 over 110 with a heart rate of 105.

I am stuck in a financial situation where it is not feasible for me to reasonably visit my mother and also pay my bills. I haven't even honestly been able to scrounge up much to save for apartment hunting at this point and I'm stressed the fuck out. I don't want to be homeless. I have 6 weeks to move out of my current situation.

I would like to see her before her health gets any worse and she possibly passes from another stroke or other health complication. She has heart disease and multiple medical conditions. She also lives several States away from me. I don't foresee her health allowing her much more time on this earth.

I am stressed, depressed and anxious almost every day lately and I just really want it all to stop. I can't understand why I have to have so much on my plate all at once. I just want to be able to be happy but it feels like every day I wake up with a new enormous gaping hole of sadness and overwhelming pressure to succeed and push forward and every night before I go to bed, after trying to push through the day and put on a smile at my work that is also extremely stressful, I just break down and start crying. I feel completely overwhelmed and stricken with grief and I just want it to stop. It's not like I don't have support emotionally from friends or a therapist but my predicament is pushing me really hard. I'm losing sleep at night. I'm having blood pressure issues, trouble eating, feeling physically ill from the immense anxiety and depression that comes with knowing someone you love is dying and it'll put me in the hole just to see them.

Genuinely and as honestly as I can say, I am not even on good terms with my mother due to past trauma I had to go through that I rarely disclose with other people, but I can't live with myself if I don't see her before she dies.

There is no pressure to donate but if you would like to help me it would be great.

I am sorry for so pitifully asking for help. I'm just at a bridge in my life and it's been the hardest one for me emotionally and literally to cross in one piece on my own.