Supporting M: A Journey to Stability

tl;dr

Our son’s friend M has been unable to escape an unsafe living situation or find permanent housing since her father’s passing. We have helped get her out of that living situation and are working with her on a game plan to establish safe housing and set her up for independence. I’m currently providing housing and life basics (clothes, toiletries) and the identity documents she’ll need to pursue employment or college. Any amount over those immediate necessities will go to short- and long-term savings for her, based on a budget plan we are building together.

NOTE: If you know M please do not share with her, as we want this to be a surprise in the coming months.

M's Story:

M and my 16yo son James have been friends for a long time. She is the first person in her family to graduate high school, and one of the kindest people you could hope to meet. Very soft spoken and appreciative.

A little over a year ago M's father, who she was living with, passed away. She was 17 at the time. Since that point she has been bouncing around living with friends and boyfriends, which has been tumultuous. Knowing that her options were limited to abusive environments or homelessness, last week, James asked if she could move in until she figured things out. At the time, she was a couple hours away and it was the middle of the night, so I said we'd have to come up with a plan. She ended up going back to her ex's for a few days, until she contacted James again to get her out of an abusive situation.

Over the weekend, James was already out with his younger brother (13) and called me. He asked again to see if he could go get her now, as the situation had worsened, and wanted to make sure I was ok with it and left to pick her up. After arriving, he found that M was being physically forced to stay. Instead of leaving, he kept in contact with her, and after an hour decided to call the local police to intervene. James brought M home with all the belongings she had in a backpack.

The first day we sat down and started talking about the inventory of what she has, and how we're going to get her on her feet. We had some conversations on previous days about what she wants to do in life and some short and long term goals. First we needed to focus on getting her housing and essentials. I've been sitting down with her each day to formulate a plan to become successful. We went shopping to get her some clothes and toiletries to start out with, and have a long laundry list of items to complete.

Currently, we are working down this list to get M:

Without these basic identity documents and contact info, getting public assistance can be difficult. We're currently working on getting on the list for housing through the county, as well as the whole gamut of other social services for now. She has also applied to over a dozen local businesses, and has started calling around to others that don't have an online presence.

M currently has $20 to her name, the money I gave her to open a checking account. I will also be teaching her about budgeting and finances. We've talked about rent costs for her time here. A cost that I will offer reductions by applying to jobs, and completing the tasks we outline daily. I'm trying to make up for the lack of preparedness the adults in her life are responsible for.

Along with budgeting for routine recurring expenses, this budget includes saving towards a nest egg, and will be split up for her into several places:

Short Term Savings: First up, saving for a car

Long Term Savings: stocks/bonds/etc

Potentially College: We have a college tour planned for next week.

About Me:

My name is Amanda Berlin, a single mom of 3 boys. I have been through my fair share of struggles in life, but have made it out pretty successful with a lot of hard work, the best friends and family anyone could ask for, and an amazing community.

Aside from my day job as the Sr. Product Manager of Cybersecurity at Blumira, I'm also the CEO and co-founder of Mental Health Hackers. We are a non-profit organization that aims to raise awareness about mental health issues in the cybersecurity community.

I feel incredibly privileged to be where I am today. I have always had a passion for helping others. I find so much joy in boosting others up, brightening someone's day, mentoring, and teaching. So when one of my son's best friends found herself in a bad situation we decided to step in. Due to the long process that housing assistance requires, they suggested that I take her to a shelter about 35 minutes away. There's no way I'd be able to live with myself, so I decided to ask for a little help.