Supporting Bianca in the many layers of loss

Dearest community,

Please join me in witnessing and supporting Bianca Rae, our beloved dancing friend as she continues to wade through layers of the grief portal.

On September 19, Bianca lost her father, Jeffrey Simon to lung cancer. In the weeks prior to his death Bianca flew to Portugal, where her father lived. She stayed by his side for his final weeks. A caretaker, a loving daughter, deep in presence.

Not even one month later, on October 17, her long-term, much-beloved partner Hawkeye Tenderwolf, took his own life; after 38 years of living in tremendous pain, yet somehow spreading the deepest, warmest love this Earth has ever known.

On Nov. 30th, her mother Lucia Gagliardi Dillard, began her healing journey with CAR-T cell therapy at the Mayo clinic in Jacksonville for bone marrow/plasma cancer. And of course Bianca is there for the whole journey, flying down immediately to hold her momma's hand. They are staying in a hotel on hospital grounds for the next month; Bianca didn’t think twice when her mom required a caregiver for this treatment. Because, as the world breaks this woman’s heart wide open, more love seems to pour out of it.

Aaaannnnddd while these two warriors were packing and preparing to head to North Florida, they were simultaneously caring for their 93 year old matriarch, Nonnie, who had been released from the hospital on Thanksgiving morning, after going through some brutal medical complications of her own. She is now settled in their home in Naples where she is receiving home care from family, friends, and hospice. Update: Bianca and her mom rushed back to Naples to be with Nonnie on January 4, she died hours after they arrived. Peacefully, leaving behind a legacy of love.

The loss, and grief and heaviness have been tremendous, as one would imagine. Yet, somehow, through the pain, there is more Love.

Bianca left her job in Florida as a teacher for students who are visually impaired, to move to the mountains and begin the next chapter of togetherness with her partner, Hawkeye, in North Carolina. One month later, the core of several worlds began exploding, such that she has not been able to breathe, let alone work or find stable ground.

Dear friends, let us witness and be present to the immensely changing life of our girl. Wrap her tight in arms of gold. And through the giving of many, support her as she continues to grieve deeply while simultaneously being a pillar for others.

Through the giving of many, we wish to afford you ease. We wish to afford you rest. We wish to afford you treats! We wish to afford you care. We wish to afford you moments of delight in the darkness, you bright bright being.

“I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?”

—Mary Oliver