Chris had a near-death car accident resulting in a critical 34 days in ICU & has now been moved to acute inpatient care. If you have ever met her, then you know you can't help but LOVE her. Everyone does. Chris lights up every room by just being her lovable, fun, caring, sometimes weird & always adorable self.
She loves everyone she meets & makes every person happier. Chris makes lives better. That is just the way God made her.
On June 25th Christina Bowser Fisher was in a terrible car accident on a country highway alone on her way home from a camping trip with our family out in Wauseon, Ohio. Since that day our worlds have been turned upside down with worry and total concern, yet faith and hope.
Chris was life-flighted to St. V's and has been there since that day. They induced sleep right awhttps://funds.gofundme.com/dashboard/supportchristinabowserfisher/customize/description#
ay for comfort to help her heal after numerous surgeries for MANY severe injuries after the initial tragedy. We waited, hoped, and prayed. We are so lucky that God let us keep Chris on this earth with her adoring husband- Mike Fisher, kids, and all of her many family and friends.
Since that initial day, Chris has had so many surgeries that it is hard to even recall them all, including leg reconstruction, knee, wrists, severed liver, internal damage, brain injuries and the many cuts, slices, abrasions, and most recently her chin surgery in which her mouth is now wired shut for 8 weeks. All the while her body is being pieced back together by all of the doctors and nurses, we have all been longing to get our funny, quirky, loveable Chris back with all her amazing wit, personality and full mindset.
Everyday since has been a blessing with her here, but still such a defeating feeling to feel so helpless in all of her pains and hurting.
There are so many moving parts to her tragedy and so many unforeseen expenses. Loss of income is just the tip of the iceberg as they both work as small business owners. There is also all of the Doctor bills, hospital bills, and soon (hopefully) rehab will begin. That is going to be a VERY long, expensive and treacherous road to get her functioning. All while we wait for Chris to get her mind back with us. Also, the expenses to fix up the house, and steps (ramp), and the bathroom since when she CAN finally come home she will never be able to leave the first floor.
Anyone that knows Chris knows that her husband is her biggest fan! Hands down, no questions asked. No one admires her like he does. This whole catastrophe has caused all life to stop at any normalcy since this happened. There is no credible working income in sight for either and all of "normal day" life burdens are still there. Responsibilities do not stop even when you desperately need them too. Although these burdens mean absolutely nothing in comparison of having this amazing woman with us, we all want to love and support Mike and Chris and family in any way that we can to help ease the costs of this immediate time and the preparation for all of the future after care costs to prep their home to keep Chris as comfortable as possible while immobile.
Anyone that knows Chris knows that she is the most incredible person in every way & is our everything. Her husband Mike Fisher has always told her she's the most important girl in the world & We hope she knows it now even while she sits in the hospital today.
Many, many amazing, loving, caring friends and family have been following and praying like crazy for Chris since the moment of her tragedy. There are no words in the world that can be expressed to thank everyone for all of the love and support that has been flowing in like rain. Please continue to prayer and send good vibes and good wishes in the hopes that this will all be something that we can look at as a miracle and blessing for her healing! Every comment, prayer, visit, and loving word is what is keeping her and Mike encouraged.
If you would like any further details please do not hesitate to follow Mike's endearing updates on his facebook page: www.Facebook.com/michaelfishersuglywords
This campaign is being organized and monitored by Christina and Mike Fisher's sister MiChelle Fisher (Graham). All of the funds will be disbursed directly to helping support Chris and used to pay any current and outstanding inherent costs that the family can help her with. Most notably there is a great chance that Chris will need to live with other family members while Mike & Chris home will need prepared & prepped for her to return. This will take some time as their house is an old 2 story home and now needs changed to have all necessary living & routine on the bottom floor and with handicap access.
In the meantime there are too many costs to imagine regarding the Fisher & Bowser family & friends all trying to help with juggling her living space once she leaves rehab, food, transportation, mobile aids as she relearns to walk, comforts, bills, etc. and the purchase of new auto due to loss of vehicle.
Mike & Chris are small business owners of three small businesses and have immediately dwindled from 3 incomes down to one (part time). The adjustment and need for financial help is still beyond explanation.
Please do not hesistate to ask ANY questions, please contact MiChelle at MiChelle Fisher Facebook Thank you for the continued love and prayers. ***Following are the first 2 weeks of daily Chris updates since the accident from Mike. I will update this page with his FB updates to follow Chris' progress***
On June 25th around 11 am my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher was in a terrible car accident on a country highway alone on her way home from a camping trip with our family out in Wauseon, Ohio. I don't know any other details than that regarding how it happened as it was an isolated area. The cops came to my house around noon that day to tell me she'd been life-flighted. She has been at St. V's since that day. They are inducing sleep right away for comfort to help her heal after numerous surgeries for injuries too long to list. There is not much else any of us know or can do at this point except wait, hope and pray. I apologize to everyone who has been messaging or texting me for not responding individually but as of right now I just want to get back to the hospital and sleep on the chair by her side & watch over her. I don't suspect I'll be posting regular updates on here because its time consuming & I don't really want to speculate on things until I know for certain that she is all better. I do want you to know that we appreciate your kind thoughts and support. I ask that you please pray for her and our family as we try to get thru this. Anyone that knows Chris knows that she is the most incredible person in every way & she is my everything. I always tell her she's the most important girl in the world & I hope she knows it now even while she sleeps. Thank you to all the many friends and family that spent the entire day at the hospital with me loving her, supporting each other and praying together.June 27 Update:
my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher is awake from her induced sleep here at the hospital! thank you all SO much for all of your prayers and kind words. This is my favorite miracle. Also thank you all the visitors and family here that love her. Sorry i keep having to ration out the visits but shes just TOO popular and i have to watch for her well being while she needs periods of good rest. We appreciate all of you though even if i look stressed or talk short. Many surgeries tomorrow. Too many injuries to list. Please keep praying and sending love. Not sure if ill update again anytime soon. Lots going on. Its been a long 3 days but shes a tough chick.
True friends are amazing. In this exceptionally difficult time my beautiful wife and I have had many MANY incredible friends and family members support us as at the hospital and from all over the Country online which Im sure I'll elaborate on someday soon. But today one dear friend stood out to EVERYONE though. He asked me not to tag him or make a big deal of it (because he's the real deal) so I'm going to just hide his name in secret code in this post somehow...
He will never understand how much it means to me and Chris but he's a rare someone who I look up to like an extra big brother that i dont deserve (I am the oldest in my blood-kin so I aint never really had one of those), he drove unannounced all the way from Nashville to visit my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher in ICU as she woke today, offer support and be the one to force me to "take 1 hour", leave the hospital while she slept and eat a proper meal together to decompress and stop having to be "in charge" for a moment. He knew I'd listen because he can also probably kick my ass, I bet, if it came down to it (and I'm tough af) plus I revere his opinion.
His short words were wise. He has more experience than me with these kind of family tragedys. His love was kind but unrelenting. Then he drove straight back (or is sleeping at a rest stop now) as if it was no big deal. My surprised eyes filled with tears when i seen him sitting in the waiting room and I want to say thank you even though he told me not to (he's too far away to fight me now...until I'm back to work in nashville).
It may have been the first time my daughters have ever seen me immediately stop trying to play the role of being the advisor to others & just be the one taking advice from anyone other than my daddy or my beloved uncle Ken (RIP). i dont trust easy nor cave so quick usually. They actually looked kinda shocked and curious but I'm glad they met this big bear of a man and seen there is simply a time to listen and be weak long enough to regain strength.
You never know what impact you have on someone whether by small gestures or big ones like this. I hope I'm affecting some people's lives as I go just as this friend has for me. If you feel the same keep doing the same.
You know who you are. Thank you and please know I love you dearly, dude (I been telling you for a few years, i hope you hear me).
I know you were J. ust T. rying to give me a good talking to as we drove past COOPER tire to get dinner at Tony Packos. But your actions will stay with me much longer than even your words.
^Secret code engaged^
If you know him, you KNOW him.
You've always been more than an amazing cowriter from the first time we worked together. You were instantly family to me but today you just reminded me more & more that family is based on love more than mere blood.
Folks ask why I always wanna give the time, hard-talk and ear to any friend who needs guidance at whatever given moment. it is because of the few men like this that i admire. I like to believe we're all a conduit to pass this on thru one another.
Drive safe dear brother. I'm going to try to rest up for more trials tomorrow.
Everyone please keep praying for my precious wife. Thank you.June 28 cont
Surgeries lasted all day today for Chris. She should be moved back to ICU soon. No one's allowed in ICU from 7 to 9 so I havent had an update in a while but it sounds like her legs and knee surgeries went well as long as no infection strikes. She's been in indused sleep again for most the day. I havent yet had a coherent conversation with her since the accident and I cant wait to hear her voice and her normal mannerisms and humor when she's not all looped up. She's mumbling lots of sweet & loving things though when she's conscious. Heading back soon. I doubt Ill update more. Please continue praying for my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher and thank you for all the love & support we continue to receive. Long way to go, I guess.
Not much to report on the progress of my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher's progress today, I guess. Spent morning to night at St V's holding her hand, rubbing her forehead, saying every good word I can think to say and watching over her as best I can.
Both leg & knee surgeries from yesterday still seem to be good, no infections yet. Broken wrist is scheduled for next week. It's been mostly about giving her a day of rest for her countless fractures, broken bones, torn liver, scars and cuts & interior wounds to hopefully begin to heal.
She's conscious but still loopy from drugs and head trauma. She endlessly says the sweetest things to me and some crazy funny stuff too because she's so zonked but I can't seem to take it in & enjoy it like everyone else does until I have at least one real conversation with her when she has her sensibilities and demeanor back.
To complicate things she's having unforeseen extreme nicotine withdrawl and gets fixated for long periods of time begging or getting mad because i cant take her outside for a cigarette (I'd act the same I guess even on a normal day). Patch doesnt help. She also was broken hearted and irititated at me because she wanted me to take her home "Find my pants & just help me up and take me home PLEASE". I tell her she's been in an accident and very injured & she's healing every single minute but it'll be a lot of minutes yet but we'll get thru it together but she replied "I would heal better at home with just you though". I melted to the ground like wax.
I don't know how people do this. i dont know what I'm doing. How are people strong enough for this? I admire them greatly.
I explain things softly over and over because she cant remember & doesnt always understand that she's been in an accident. She settles down sometimes and othertimes not. Regardless, I still aint used to her being mad at me. It's been a rare instance for 17 years believe it or not.
I sat alone in the parking garage for a half hour and just prayed for any encouraging moment to show that she is hearing me. When I came in to kiss her goodnight she was drugged back up but pulled my ear to her feeble mouth so close in a surreal moment of clarity and mumbled "I know I've been acting all kinds of ways today but nothings going to keep me from you." then went back to talking a little jibberish and fell asleep. That enough is answer to my prayers to ready me for another day tomorrow.
We had many visitors again today. One nurse shared with me "I've never seen any patient with so many friends and family visiting each day. Ever. She must be a great person to know." She's right.
Everyone loves my wife.
They HAVE moved her to another room so visitors should text me tomorrow. I've also put a "stop-first" hold on visitors until they get with me for a couple minutes prior to so I can ration out periods of quiet rest for her here & there. Please dont be offended. She loves seeing you so dont stop. i just have to look out for her best interest too and spots of silence without even me around are good for her to sleep deep. She loves seeing everyone though.
She's so loved that she could have a constant line of visitors from morning to night if i dont oversee some kind of order to it. What an amazing problem to have though. We love all yall.
Thanks to all who stopped by family friends and her co-workers. Makes her day. Thank you to my little sisters and my little brother for being such supports and feeding me, etc. Thanks to one of my best friends "Dirt" Matt Sayers for visiting from Georgia and dragging me outside for some normal conversation for a spell.
Thanks to my wife for being so strong even when she's broken and confused.
Thanks to my daughters for being my absolute strength, pinnacles of love for their daddy & step-mommy and my best safe havens.
Thank you God.
Thanks to all yall online that keep sending support, kind words and prayers. I get all your messages and read each one. I promise. And it strengthens me. Just cant always reply like I wish I could. Please dont stop.
My only hope is faith.
Update on my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher after her car crash. Today was much like yesterday. Chris is conscious but still not herself; confused, no short term memory, repetitious & restless. We also learned that her chin is broken so she'll have to have her mouth wired shut soon. However she continues to say sweet, loving and amusing things all day which keeps me alive & ticking with hope and she is speaking with more clarity of voice. She looks well in the face and beautiful as ever. Im sleeping here at st vs with her tonight. Many dear visitors and friends continued to encourage us all day and most everyone is a pillar of support and love to her and i. I try to keep in mind that the one or two who are less than helpful are well intentioned even if intrusive. Regardless i cant let that distract me from celebrating every moment of good news and trying to direct the right professionals to focusing on areas of concern. Thank you to everyone who stopped by to see her today and everyone praying. Please dont stop. We appreciate each and everyone of you. That was an extra nice surprise that josh leek and Dalila Moretti drove up from knoxville. Chris loves all yall and so do i.
I'm at work at my office for the 1st time in 6 days. It's surreal to go into "professional" mode on autopilot and talk so normal to customers and interact like a normal human being while my whole world's on fire. It may be healthier though than spending day & night either at the hospital or short spurts at home. I had to return to work at some point, I guess. But I feel guilty every moment I'm away from my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher even though I know she's in good hands with family & friends while I'm away. I think I'm realizing it maybe does more for me than it does for her to hold her hand for hours at a time. Can't wait to get back to the hospital.
Thank you to all the friends and family that are visiting her today while I'm away. I know she loves it. Please make sure she gets some shuteye alone now & then for spells of time too though. I left several notes around the room too.
Please continue praying everyone. She is a remarkable soul and deserves to get better.
Today was much like yesterday which was much like the day before. No new tragedy, no big profound moment of things being massively better in my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher's healing. Just a morning of holding her hand and trying to find the right encouraging words to sooth her and an evening that ended the same. She's still foggy-headed, confused, antsy and repeatedly asks me why we cant just "Go home and sit on the couch and watch movies together with the dog. PLEASE???". It's heartbreaking to hear and to have to explain over and over gently that she's been in a terrible car crash, she has many broken bones so she cant move yet and that it's going to be a while before we can go home to do all that but the day WILL come and youre doing great and I adore you and youre so strong.....". But I remind myself that I am just blessed to hear her at all.
Thank you to all the visitors that came in from all over and to the wonderful family we have on both sides supporting us as we make difficult decisions in difficult times while we are both exhausted and still in shock (albeit in very different forms). Thanks to everyone who keeps feeding me. Thanks to so many members of the local music community for being by my side and keeping me standing up (Alexander Dutch Clawson & David Carpenter particularly touched my heart today). Thank you everyone near & far that has been praying for my wife and I. Please dont give up nor forget.
Today she told me in her loopy state "All I want to do is get super old with you" and smiled dreamily thru her broken jaw. It is what I hold on to now as I sit home for a spell before I drive back to the hospital to sleep in the chair next to her at 4 in the morning because she said she's nervous to sleep without me. How can I stay home like I planned? 17 years of work-horsing thru life together will do that to you.
Hug your loved ones yall.
I hope to wake up to a day with anything better than the day before.
Its been 1 week since my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher 's car crash and ive been at the hospital nearly every moment since. It still dont feel real. I have adopted a strange routine from morning to night almost like a man leaving his apartment and walking to work. Im numb but i feel everything too much.
She had the most visitors ever today. We literally filled the waiting room and had to request extra chairs as we made a full blown family-and-friends meeting about all things Chris. I updated everyone on all relevant details over the past 7 days, the decisions her and i face, my methodology & direction, ways everyone can help diby up tasks to help us, etc then we just yapped about how much we all love my chick and how we want to stay unified to support her and keep obstacles away. What an amazing family.
The staff at St Vs has been exemplary and the surgeons have done wonders so far. The nurses work so hard and give me personal attention as i research on behalf of my wife. The doctors have been responsive and clear. Doctors and nurses genuinely care even when they bump into me on the elevator. I can tell they really want to know how i feel beyond just what i plan to do. Its amazing and appreciated in these hard times.
I did have to go to verbal battle toe to toe with one outside service provider (independent from st vs staff) who was the polar opposite of what you want for compassion, clarity, empathy or professional guidance. It was hard to muster up the strength (im so tired) to stand my ground, demand better standards and wrangle him to pay attention to her needs as a human being rather than a piece of paper but we hollered it out in front of the nurse staff hovering at a barely controlled tone for 20 minutes but we finally have a starting plan that i feel is acceptable for her. It helped that my father in law Larry Bowser was literally at my side the whole time silently having my back.
Chris slept more than ever today but talked with every friend and fam that visited when awake. They tell me they see slight progress in her coherence, memory and speech but i struggle to wrap my head around it. Im too close to the situation and here too often to see incremental change.
Either way i loved spending the day with her. Im lucky to hear her voice and have her mumble loving words at me. She gets pretty agitated, itchy and restless at this point but looks beautiful while shes doing it. She's an impatient patient but worth it entirely.
Im exhausted and surgeries start tomorrow.
Thank you dear fam and friends who rallied together with me tonight. I could not do this without you. I promise im doing my best with full deliberation. Because we ALL love this woman.
Please keep praying yall.
Update on my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher 's progress since her car crash: its been 8 days of practically living in the hospital. St V's direct staff has still been exemplary so far on every shift. Theyre patient, attentive, professional and caring to Chris and I.
Today was supposed to be for a couple of her surgeries. She was disappointed to hear they were cancelled due to low sodium levels. Shes been fixated for the past 2 days to 'just get it over with' and its been my carrot on a stick to settle her down or convince her to eat when she gets restless.
Shes still talking and interacting but certainly not herself yet. Shes sweet and funny but almost childlike sometimes and it scares me to death to see such a brilliant woman in this state. I just cant wait to have one conversation with her where she has all her wherewithal, sensibilities and the entire essence of what makes her "her". Shes beautiful to look at but what i love the utmost is all inside her head and its hidden under a veneer of confusion and repetious cravings (specific foods, going home to watch netflix together on the couch, cigarettes and soda, wanting socks, etc). I just want to know shes ok and gonna be ok.
I can wrap my head around all these broken bones and torn portions of flesh mending themselves over time but i have trouble fathoming her precious mind healing until i experience it. I have trouble being as happy as everyone else at the spots of good news that we get about her prognosis for physical healing. It makes me feel dumb, under-hopeful and uninspiring to everyone that im supposed to be modeling support to around me. I wish i was a look-on-the-bright-side personalty but im a please-give-me-my-wife-back type instead.
Please pray specifically for her mental healing and, emotional well being & peace of mind as she comes to.
I worry extreme scenarios like she'll have an all new demeanor & interests or that she wont love me no more. I worry that i wont know how to care for her rightly over the next months. And feel like im not supposed to acknowledge those fears or admit them to myself.
She IS working a spoon with her own hand instead me feeding her now and did well with the speech therapist so thats welcome to see. A dear friend Pam Bossert Zielinski came to give her a full professional body massage and such plus fed me so im forever grateful for the people in our lives. Chris looked extra beautiful after.
I spent 3.5 hours at home today. The most ive done since this happened. I slept and cuddled my coonhound. I felt excruciatingly guilty being away from chris though. I know i need to retirn to working sometimes but time alone feels selfish and empty.
I dont explain it well when i describe all the time at her bedside though. Some of it IS holding her hand quietly or her and i just talking while she says some of the sweetest things. But other hours are her not understanding why she cant stand up, scratch her stitches, have whatever craving she wants or simply just go home or out to eat with me. She gets restless and angry with me and pouts or even says mean things to me. I know she wont even remember this but no man likes to see an angry look in his wifes eyes at him especially when all he wants to do is double down on loving her. I dont want her to 'come to' and only remember me as the man who put rules on her for weeks on end. I worry about everything.
My mom Linda Rowe Fisher stayed most the day with her and my daddy Mike Fisher just left from hanging out with me in the parking garage talking. I have the best parents and in-law parents Betty Dean Larry Bowser and Don Dean by chris's side most all the time too. Plus so many dear friends and fam that stopped by again. Everyone loves chris. Im lucky to have so many caring for her with me and it makes her happy as can be.
My head is full of bells and beeps from the hospital room. I hear it when im outside even. Im about to go back upstairs and hope shes restful so i can sleep by her side again.
Thank you for your prayers. Dont stop. Thank you for loving this amazing woman with me. Im lucky to look at her each day.
Hopefully tomorrow brings any new hope or news. Ill keep yall uptdate.
Rough night. I slept in the chair next to my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher 's hospital bed as usual. She was more restless, out of sorts and agitated than ever. I dozed off with her hollering at me repeatedly since i wont "just take her to Wing Station and then lets go home". I slept deep and uncontrollably for once.
I was forced awake a couple hours later. I could feel her matted hair all over my face and the weight of her body compressing me into the recliner. In her muddled state she had actually hoisted her little wounded body over the saftey rail of the bed to lay with me. Only her broken legs remained on the mattress. I felt her neck brace shoved into my adams apple, her nose to my nose and her arms around me as she twisted and turned (shes not supposed to move at ALL). I panicked as the nurses came in fast to lift her back to safe place. They told me that even mad at me she'd been tucking herself as far into the edge of the bed to be near me, put her arm around and even was pulling my hair and punching me saying "wake up wake up wake up" because she wanted to hang out.
They had to put a mitt on her one working hand because she also had picked at her reattached ear and tore two stitches out. She became a boxer punch bagging my face to try to wake me to talk i guess but i kept sleeping thru it.
I hope she didnt rattle any injuries further. It was a terrible but endearingly sweet moment all at once. Its etched into me forever im sure.
Shes now finally restful so im gonna run a few chores.
I know some of these updates are heavy. I dont mean to bring yall down that are following this. I just know that many are relying on these updates to keep up on the progress because they care for her and i cant respond to every instant message every day. I committed to giving the most honest updates as possible to honor yalls love for her and i but sometimes its hard days. My hope is that means you will know you can trust and celebrate things entirely if i post positive news or words of progress. Youll know that i post the truth of perspective either way. This magnifies the joy on the good days.
Thank u for all the positive reinforcent, first hand experiences and prayers. I read them all and it helps. Im sorry i aint responded to individual texts and IMs in a few days but i receive each one and appreciate them all. Someday ill read them to her.
I sincerely hope yall have a great 4th. Ill spend mine with this gorgeous woman and im gonna love it.
Update for Day 9 after my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher's terrible car accident; I know lots of friends are reading these each day to follow how Chris is doing because they love her, love me or love both. Some are just kind souls that are keeping up on things and contributing prayers from the perimeter. We appreciate each and every one of you and all of the comments, IM's and texts. The goodness in this world is overwhelming and we are certainly seeing it first hand from yall. I get the sense that these are more interesting when there is notable good news or notable bad news. Today was proof that love in times of tragedy is actually oftentimes simply mundane. And mundane can be more offputting because it provides no drama or adrenaline as distraction from the reality of how severe life can be.
Chris is no better or worse. I didnt have to fight any battles on her behalf regarding outside specialists treatments. Nothing new broke me down and nothing drastic elevated me other than my normal daily hope and faith. Just a day of preparation for her upcoming surgeries and being insatiable for miraculous good growth of her mental and interactive state from her head injuries. Luckily there was no decline or bad news either. I had lots of conversations with loved ones and supporters that I've had with other loved ones and supporters. And strangely each familiar talk is still important and impactful. We're still surrounded by the greatest family on both sides for support system. We have experts in our midst for me to bounce thoughts with regarding specifics of everything from pharmacy to rehab. Chris still enjoys every visitor. But she's still not entirely herself even though she's interactive and loving and hilarious. Her 3 jobs are still to "Eat. Drink. Sleep." as I been telling her for days now and making her repeat back to me to build up her blood count and raise her sodium levels to be able to proceed with the next round of surgeries. I'm still ecstatic to see her every time and hear her voice. I'm still broken and battered to my soul every time I step outside to the parking garage to be alone. The nurses all wave goodbye and ask about her as they leave at shift change as they now know my name and she's memorable as always to all. I'm still exhausted but hyperfocused. I still swing like a pendulum back & forth between being the optimist who shows strength since I have to be and then being the shattered man of glass who needs picked up and reformed by loved ones again. Over and over. She still craves bizarre things and asks for them constantly (skittles, bread pudding, every soda imaginable especially "Dr K", hot sauce, etc). I was most surprised that finally after 9 days she finally for the first time asked about beer. Who knew that was so far down the craving list???
Luckily I was forged to be good at this. Before I graduated to be a lowly songwriter and barn salesman I was a private "service provider" and program director to the state and federal governents in charge of over 1200 cases in 9 years as liason to all services for clients with everything from physical disabilities to severe behavior disorders and in doing so I had to be the go-between for all contributing professionals and decide priority of each step of who does what next for everyone from doctors to therapists to psychiatrists to freakin' parole officers and court interventions. The only thing I ever been good at in life is words so I built that career on overseeing proper documentation and interpreting chain of events, overview and the next step. I left that job for a simpler life and in hopes to never need those skills again but now I'm blessed to apply that methodolgy as I am forced to be responsible for life-long decisions for the person I love and admire most in life. It's different this time because I have to ackowledge that i am TOO close to the situation to go off of gut instinct but I have many trusted loved ones to serve as a sounding board and St V's direct staff have been easy to work with, informative and forthcoming of all info for me to study up on what i dont know (which is a lot). I would never want this but at least I am remembering how to do it since this woman is precious to me.
It's about time anyways. She's spent the past 17 years protecting me and taking care of me. She sometimes says, in her moments of lucidity that I "Shouldnt have to take care of her like this" but I tell her "Shit baby. Now I know how YOU been feeling everyday watching over for me. You can let me take the wheel for a few months then we'll take care of each other?quot;. She just says "Yeah." and smiles a loopy grin. I'm usually the greasefire mess and she deserves a break from all that. I'm sure we'll switch shifts again someday.
Her personality shines thru her confused and compressed state ever since the day she was woken up. She's brilliantly sarcastic and witty even when she's not "all there" yet. Her strange choice of words remains. She says outrageous stuff that shocks the staff but I'm kinda like "She'd have said that when she's normal". Her long term memory is strikingly sharp sometimes but she still repetitiously has very low short term. I repeat everything and I repeat everything and I repeat everything. She's still cutely defiant and tells the staff things like "Rules are made to broken" and "Sit still smit still". She still wants what she wants when she wants it. And she still makes my day when she says "Youre the best hubby ever."
She falls into weird patterns that I'll appreciate more and laugh about after I know she's better. Like last night I could hear her while I was in a half-sleep state (right after she leaped from the bed to lay on top of me on my chair) as she spoke quietly out loud into my ear as if she was making a full fledged phone call to each and every person that's visited her over the past 5 days but she thought we were at home and she was planning a cookout or party. "Hi Josh, it's Chris. Ooooooh nothing. Just seeing if we're meeting up later. I dunno. Me and Mike will probably just go home after and sit with the dog and watch movies.....Ok see you buddy. Hi Dalilah, what you doing later? Oooooo, me and Mike are just gonna....ok bye bye. Hi Momma. You coming over later? Nah. We're just gonna...." and it lasted forever. It makes me smile and cry both at once.
She also planned an entire wedding for her nurse last night (who revealed to me that shes not even engaged) and thought the wedding should be done there at the hospital. She was very excited and infatuated with making the nurse talk about it constantly. She was a patient nurse.
Lastly she's planned our entire first date once she gets go home after rehab (long from now whether she knows it or not). Apparently we're going to Wing Station for hot wings and spinach pie. Then (for some reason) to Taco bell. THEN going to the movie store (I guess we're dating in 1998). Then going home to sit on the couch and watch Cape Fear all night (??????).
I swear on all thats holy Im going to do exactly THAT when we get our life back. And it will be the greatest date Ive ever had.
Please keep praying. Pray specifically to heal her mind, her emotions as she hopefully comes to and her entire consciousness as much as her body please. We need you and appreciate you all. Thank you for helping me love my wife. She deserves it.
We also could see the fireworks from the hospital window since its in downtown Toledo. So, there's that. Happy 4th of July yall.
Update day 10 after my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher 's car accident; Today was like yesterday for the most part.
Shes talking, interactive, full of her sarcasm and wit yet still far from being herself. She doesnt always know where she is and spends periods of time acting out scenarios like shes at work or home. She tries to stand and walk forgetting shes in a hospital with broken legs and knee, etc then gets mad when we have to stop her and make her lay back down. We all cant wait to get "all of her" back within her mind. I worry about it constantly. More than anything. I want to decide stuff WITH her not FOR her. Shes brilliant and we have always been unstoppable for 17 years when we make decisions together. The 2 of us combined = 1 amazing grownup. Im only half of a perfect recipe and its lonely being incomplete.
She still makes me laugh out loud even at half her wit. The nurses look like we dont understand the gravity of our situation when we're both laughing together now and then. Shes just the funniest, weirdest chick in the world.
Shes a full time job though, fidgeting and twisting, trying to be an escape artist, demanding things all day, bickering etc. Her mind is on hyperdrive and the poor things only slept about 3 hours within the past 36. Even with benedryl. Ive asked for something stronger but the dr has given a "seen but no response" (which is a unspoken no) and i wont know why til i meet with him for review in the am.
The only way i figured out to trick her even into the 1 hour of sleep this afternoon was to literally crawl half my body onto her bed with her and go to sleep myself (which was easy and instant) with my arm on her belly. Not sure if its the familiarity of feeling like how we sleep and breathe at home or what but she zonked out too. We were awakened later by the room noise though. Felt good nonetheless while it lasted.
I just want her to be restful. Maybe the confusion will recede if so. Or im just desperate for any chance of change. Her mind does not idle. She only has an accelerator to the floor. Why is no one else concerned about this? I worry about everything.
Still id rather spend a day with her at half herself than a day with anyone else at full capacity. Shes my favorite person.
I told when she was attempting yet another escape "Baby, you are a full time troublemaker that dont listen to a thing" and she snapped back "Your MOMs a full time troublemaker that dont listen to a thing."
Lastly ive had to start my mind on things besides her today. Like paying bills. Shes always done that for us. Im a stupid child whos forgotten how. All the passwords and pin numbers and expiration dates and credit card numbers escape me. I couldnt get even one figured out. Weve got the money for now but every hour figuring out how to keep cell phones and utilities on is an hour not paying attention to her. How did she do all this? Shes amazing. Im scared to home to no lights. Gotta get better at this.
Im gonna tryto go back to work for a day tomorrow. I tried once saturday and ended up back here since. I have to do this somehow though.
My little sister Melissa Fisher stayed overnight with chris last night so i could be with the dog at home since fireworks scare him. But im back tonight to sleep by my wifes side and listen to her cute snore again.
Many visitors again today and chris loves each and every one. Thanks Tami Jared for the cool window decoration. I like that she said "now theres no more room for any colors in here. Its full." What? Ha ha!
I also got to have a private talk for an hour and a half with my amazing daughters Sommer Fisher and Amanda Fisher. They are the epitome of love and they are my best source of strength. Im the luckiest man on earth.
My favorite thing Chris told me today after lots of babbling and nonsense; she stopped suddenly and looked at me and said "I really like the way you sit there and listen to every thing i say."
And i do.
My LEAST favorite thing she said today is apparently she told the nurses that she cooks meth at home and that she could just use "ALL the meth right now." Great. They dont understand her twisted sense of humor and that she'd say THAT randomly on any given day. Guess i better get ready for cops at my door.
Keep praying yall. Please pray for her mind, her emotions to be peaceful and her body to rest. We need you, appreciate you and love you.
Surgery # 1 for my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher has moved to today instead of tomorrow without notice. 230 pm. Looks like i cant go to work again. This is what it can be like; you stay up late in the parking garage writing detailed relevant notes about your loved ones medical history to prep for your first meeting with a doctor in days for whenever he decides to show up. He wakes you by her bedside at 5 or 6 am. In a groggy panick you see he expects you to summarize with precision one of the most important conversations of your life so you fumble to get thru your words before you lose him. You somehow make great points and ask a list of the right questions. He shrugs and says "i am the medical dr like you requested. But im a bone specialist. Those questions about the brain injury are for a different department. " Your made to feel dumb. You ask who do i talk to then? He says "the staff will let you know" and leaves. Even the nurses look dumbfounded. Youre exhausted and have to decide if you even try to go back to sleep since youre on an adrenaline rush now. You do. its hard. You wake up an hour or so later and its a whole new staff. Even your new allies have gone home. They let YOU feel like the crazy one as you pack quietly to leave for the morning. You muster up encouraging words for your wife even though youre out of inventory. You recognize that no one will even remember this. Then you hear surgery has been moved up. You call off work and begin to call her family and loved ones...
Update day 11 after my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher's car crash.
I'll call this a good day overall amidst a sea of bad ones. And I'll take what i can get. There were several small victories.
The only looming bad news that i can't spin any better is that my wife is still far from being "herself" mentally after her head trauma. She IS still interactive, eloquent, hilarious af, sarcastic and loving with nearly every word. Yet she is still hollow, unaware of reality (she thinks she's at home, then work, then today she was at a bar watching me perform and hanging with friends, etc). I am the loneliest man in the universe until I can make decisions with her rather than for her. The repetitive conversations asking her to stop removing her safety mitt (so she cant pull any more stitches out), don't stand up (since her legs are broke), no, you cant have a cigarette here (because we're in a hospital), you may have to apologize to the surgeon before he re-assembles your arm (because you just said "I'm so over this because it's stupid when the doctor is all like UhhhhDUR HI, Im mr. doctor!!!!'), Don't pull your neckbrace off (because neckbone fractures), etc It exhausts me (and all of us who are with her) and it's been 48 hours of her mind and body on hyperspeed like that for some reason before she finally fell asleep at 9 am. I'm not used to telling my wife what to do. She aint that kind of chick. I'm uncomfortable with her seeing me as that way even if it's in her subconscious. I need "her" more than anything. Please continue praying for her full mind to return, her emotions to be lifted as she realizes the trauma she's been thru and her full spirit to be reinstated within her consciousness. She's the entire world and the world is stopped for me until she returns.
Why are the doctors seemingly unconcerned about this? If so, why dont they communicate to me the rationale for ME to be less concerned so i can get some peace? Why have they not communicated with me about this specific heartbreaking behavior or asked me for any relevant input about the matter even though the nurses seem to be rooting for me about this?
On the other hand....
Both her surgeries were clustered together today so she didnt have to have that damn tube shoved down her throat twice, she didnt need 2 rounds of being put to sleep within 2 days as previously planned and she could "just get it over with" as she's been preaching like a stuttered sermon for days on end. Both surgeries went very VERY well and the surgeons from St V's were amazing just as the leg and knee specialists were last week.
I have no doubt that she is so tough and strong willed that she'll back at all her hiking, biking, running and other nonsense just like she always was thanks to them. It'll take time but she's relentless. She's my cyborg chick now but I think it's sexy. So thats perfectly alright.
As long as I get her mind back I worry about nothing in the long term of the rest of our lives. Shes a cute badass.
Also I paid my very first bill on my own in nearly 2 decades!
It was just the sprint bill and I had to call India old-school cause i couldnt figure out the damned password to do it on the phone quick-like as she does but after 1/2 hour I felt kinda like a grown man. I'm scared she'll come-to someday and realize I can actually do responsible things in life so my whole helpless veneer may have just changed today. Argh. Dont tell her yall.
Also thanks to many of yalls advice I requested a patient advocate to meet with me in the am to discuss the matters that I feel are not getting addressed in her complex diagnosis. It's mostly patient history and lifestyle change type stuff but incredibly necessary to consider. Hopefully they can guide me to edit the important points to do a better job of expediting important info that they are plainly overlooking and guide them to answer the many questions I have to gather info to begin planning the next steps, making the next choices on her behalf (unless she fully awakes to her entire self and then we'll make the choices together even if it veers my previous proclivities) and we can settle some ground for plateau of information sharing to help me feel like I and my/her entire family can make educated decisions as I bounce ideas off of them.
My in-laws, my dad, my momma, Chris's family, my daughters, our closest friends that we consider fam and my 3 siblings continue to unite even during the hardest of conversations (of which I had a few today) to wrap ourselves around Chris with full deliberate care and support each other forming as a hierarchy of love & labor with me at the peak (of which I am usually comfortable yet sometimes terrified).
I had several meetings with pockets of this support system in which they each worked with me to dibby up and delegate chores of which I am incapable of doing alone (info gathering, checking in with certain doctors, medical document mining from different sources, checking into available programs for her needs, etc). I could not do this alone and I know I dont have to.
Plus they make me eat. And even laugh sometimes half-heartedly.
My best friend since childhood Jamie Sayre got back in town and visited me 1 on 1 for an hour. We only see each other a couple times of year but we been thru every important thing together and it improved my perspective to just hug him and vent and hear his wisdom.
Chris's family continues to make me feel like they believe in me. And that matters. A lot.
I also got 4 hours sleep in a row. Thats valuable too.
ST V's direct staff & nursing team has been unexplainably supportive and endlessly patient with her patterns of behavior. They seem to care and to be experts within all the 'troops on the ground' positions. I just need to hear from the upper rung of expertise a good amount more. Hopefully tomorrow this glitch will be patched and my perspective will be changed.
I have received SO many messages, voicemails and texts from all yall friends from near and from across the country that include your personal expertise's in the medical field, your first-hand experiences with trauma & TBI with your own spouses, children & loved ones and your uplifting messages. And each one teaches me. I am trying to study fast for her and gather every speck of helpful info. And yall are there for us impacting our every day. For real. Thank you. Im sorry i dont respond every time but I get and read EVERY msg. Someday hopefully Chris will too. Lots of folks complain about social media but this is proof that it just magnifies us, good or bad. Too often we see bad. But without yall I would have gone astray more times than I can count. The good is enlarged thru you. I appreciate you and so does Chris (Im speaking confidently on her behalf as the man who knows her best).
I am a lucky man.
Many folks have been asking about an online donation center such as go fund me. Quite a few have even accused me of being prideful in not endorsing one. I hope you can understand that from day one, for her own good, I have told myself I need to diligently pace every ounce of energy I have. Today is what I now call phase 2. Phase 1 consisted of focusing solely on insuring she gets thru all her surgeries without our strange, beautiful, makeshift family fraying ( as many do), that she has every ounce of support and encouragement to rest as best as possible, eat right, hear how loved she is from every soul that will tell her (which is un-countable now) and that I ally myself with the great majority of outstanding nursing staff, service providers and specialists as possible (its more tactical than you may think) and to choose my battles to wrestle the very few who would give her underwhelming attention down to the floor. That is done, good-bad-or-indifferent now.
So yes, Im meeting with one of Chris's best friends and my amazing little sister tomorrow to create some form of go fund me. Me and Chris are suprisingly private but not prideful. I was just prioritizing my focus. It was not the time to think about money. I'd probably shudder to move if I knew how much this is costing. But she is priceless. So the choice was easy.
I appreciate that many of you have messaged wanting to contribute and I'm sure we need it even if I dont understand the gravity of how much we do yet. I promise by this weekend I or someone will share a link & methodology for that. I of course hope no one feels like its necessary to contribute for us to know you love us. But we are thankful for whatever comes of it, in advance.
One of the nurses told me today she wanted to meet me because, even with Chris loopy, she heard so much about me from Chris's yammering. She said she calls me her handsome hubby and says she knows how much I adore her and that I'm "just pretty ok" at singing too (for real). Bwaha! I love this chick. THAT will get me thru today.
Thank you everyone. I'll try to keep yall uptdate as i see fit. please keep praying. We need you.
Had a very good meeting today with one of the doctors and the head of Trauma. And that is even before hopefully meeting with a Patient Advocate today on behalf of my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher 's care. They were very receptive, informative and confirming that my concerns are valid and my notes are a necessary puzzle piece. As appreciative as i was after the meeting they still recommended i get with Patient Advocate which i think was very honest of them. I cant feel anything until i have my wifes full consciousness back but i am relieved after this first overview meeting. It made me immediately sleepy after i think because im finally not running on edgy adrenaline for once. They are researching answers that we all need and getting back to me. Hopefully next meeting is even better. Shes taking a nap after getting used to having her jaw wired shut. Im on the parking garage working and ill be here all day.
Update day 12 on my beautiful wife Christina Bowser Fisher 's progress after her car crash: She woke up today to discover her jaw is now wired shut for the next 8 weeks to heal her broken chin, fractured face and cracked jaw.
She's also still confused and unable to grasp where she is for more than 5 minutes. Her repetetive sentences, detachment from immediate reality (she still thinks she's at home or work oftentimes but is happy for it because she loves her job & home) and lack of short term memory remain the same.
However her mind & body are no longer on hyperdrive & she is sleeping periodically (after DAYS of only sleeping for about 2 hrs per day). She was also in good spirits for most of the day despite her predicament. She loved seeing every visitor. Her favorites are her mom, dad, me, her sis Angie Bowser, her cousin April Bowser and our daughters Sommer Fisher & Amanda Fisher though. She's so appreciative of everyone even when perplexed about whats going on. I cant imagine what its like to wake up with my mouth closed against my will and learning I can only eat by having liquids pushed by a plastic syringe into my mouth (Even the sucking motion of using a straw could damage her jaw & sinus more). But she is handling it with strength and buoyancy that I admire and could never match. She's incredible.
One of the nurses laughed and told me Im the first husband that aint made the "Finally I can get my wife to be quiet" joke. Never occured to me. I've always loved every word that spills from her mouth.
She did have spikes of intense pain throughout the day more than Ive seen since the initial crash. I know it may disappoint some folks who have been trying to console me by telling me "Keep in mind she's on a lot of pain meds..." when I worry about her mindset but truth is this chicks so tough she's been refusing pain meds 90% of the time since the day she was woke from the induced coma 9 days ago. THAT is one of the reasons Im so concerned and lonely for her full self to return. There are less variables to consider in contrast to her constant. They used to ask me last week "should we force her to take more painkillers, most people want them all the time..." and I was like "Nope, she knows her body better than we do even now. She asks for it when she feels she needs it." And she has and does. But today she cried from her pain magnified from the healing of her new knee that they've constructed.
And when she cries I die inside. She's never been a dramatic girl or cried often. I just entirely want to rebuild the universe when I see a single tear drop from her eye. But I cant. I could only remind her that she's doing better than she thinks and that this is only temporary while her mom massaged her knee lovingly. We all felt equally hopeless in that room but didnt speak of it other than glances of a thousand words.
I love that she's sleeping better.
Her coworkers and customers from Salon Mac made a big posterboard of loving encouraging words and one of them hung it on the window at the entrance to her room. She loved it. They all love her and she loves them. She loves doing hair and knowing her customers so much. And they love her. And I love watching them all love each other. Between the 2 of us we run 3 independent businesses and are blessed to never work a day in our lives since we love what we do. We're a lucky couple surrounded by good folks.
As I mentioned in a shorter post this afternoon I DID finally have a good meeting with the lead Dr and the head of the trauma team about the issues and complexities of Chris' diagnosis and the decisions I need to make within the next week, alone, if she does not "come to".
They were receptive, informative, conceded that a lot of this is more complex than they first assumed and took notes off of me and Chris's notes about her medical history. They didnt have all the answers but they are info-mining to get me the facts & right info and that's all I wanted. They also apologized for losing communication with me for the past few days and gave me personal emails and phone #'s if I feel unheard again. The patient advocate was off today after 2 days of trying to get with her but everyone speaks highly of her and we're supposed to meet monday. I'll spend this weekend prepping for that, I suppose.
I also requested a Patient Care Conference too on the recommedation of Chris's long term friend Danielle Conley (Thanks for guiding me with that) and it looks like we'll get a full sit-down before I have to make any big decisions. Her dear friend Jill Peternel Byrd is also helping me with lots of upcoming stuff too as well as being a kind support. I appreciate that her friends are there for us both with all goals being whats best for her. We are surrounded by laborious love. We're the luckiest couple in the world.
St V's troops on the ground continue to be amazing and care for Chris, even when she is high maintenance, with devotion and professionalism. We are lucky she's here.
They removed the stitches from her severed and re-attached ear today and it looks great. The cutest ear ever.
She did some pre-rehab too and was strong and fantastic, I hear.
My 3 siblings are the best a man could have Melissa Fisher, MiChelle Fisher & Matt Phishar. They keep me propped up.
My cousin Ken Ken and his family drove up from South Carolina to offer support. He's the only one in our whole generation older than me so he's always been my first proxy-big-bro. That's fulfilling to see and hear from him.
Everyone is feeding me. I promise. And I sleep too little but I do that historically with my lifestyle when I tour. If I can go on 2 hours sleep for countless days straight in gatlinburg staying up late drinking and writing songs with my TN friends-like-fam then I can certainly do it on behalf of my wife needing amplified love and support from me. Please dont fret for me too much. Im kinda glad to have lost 6 more lbs in 12 days anyhows : )
I aint sure if it's Stockholm syndrome or what but Im starting to love the food in the ST V's cafeteria. Its really really yummy. I think.
There's still much to do over the next week but I have family and friends allowing me to delegate and ask for help. And they follow thru ferociously. Who is more blessed than me? No one.
A Go-Fund-Me is coming soon, as promised. I swear. Thank you all for asking.
On a personal note I can handle the forecasted reality of insurmountable bills, the upcoming months of rehab and rebuilding our routine, the loneliness when i have to go home, the complexity of trying to hold the few wolves at bay and be the centerpiece to guide the many lambs of love to do what they do best but...I am empty to the bottom of the base of a glass until my dear wife returns to me with her full personality and consciousness about her. I am bones and skin pretending to be a man until she completes me again. We are at our best when we are we.
I hope she misses me as much as I miss her deep inside and I can only hope she heals and comes home inside her head soon. It's like dying daily but not quite enough to be dead until I have a real conversation with her. We're a weird & wild couple, I know, but for now I am solely just a scribble of a man.
Please pray for her brain injury to heal, her entire "her" to be restored and her soul & 'heart' to be strong if she emerges to the reality of all she's been thru.
I whispered to her ear today that "You're the most important girl in the world" and she told me "Awwww, you are to me." I said "I'm the most important girl in the world to you???" and she laughed and said "Yup."
I'll take it.
Hug your loved ones y'all. Say what youve been meaning to say. You never know what tomorrow brings. You