Hi! My name is Yl'luria, and I need your help!

On 12/11/24 i had gastric sleeve surgery. Before my insurance would cover it, they required me to lose 45lbs. And since my surgery, I've lost over 135lbs, working my tail off everyday, going to the gym, changing my habits, & losing more than 175lbs over the last 2 years or so in total. And I did it all largely alone.

But now I'm at an impasse. I've hit the stage where I can't do it alone anymore, bc insurance won't cover the skin removal surgery I (& soooo many other WLS patients) need after losing so much weight. Unless you have rashes, lesions and sores, Medicare won't cover skin removal. To them, it's just "cosmetic." But for me, skin removal goes much further than just skin deep. Yes, the numbers on the scale and the clothing rack are ones I've always dreamt of, and yes, I'm still working towards losing a little more. But because of my excess skin, i can't feel comfortable in the body I've worked so hard to achieve. No matter how much I hit the gym or how much college I take, my skin will only bounce back so much. (And believe me, she's bounced back a LOT, for which I'm eternally grateful.) But I've got places to over my body that will need a little help, so that I can feel fully free and different I'm the new skin I'm in.

My belly looks flat in clothes, but underneath, my "Christmas package" is an empty casing of loose Stuff that won't go away. My legs are thinner than I've EVER known them, but my thighs, toosh and inner legs look like an old, delayed balloon. (And I can literally feel my hiney folds where the skin is sagging and folding over itself, just standing around. No matter how many leg lifts I do, my bum looks like a melancholy Sharpet. My arms not only move like water when I wave, but there's a level of cottage cheesy, elephant skin that extends from my armpits to almost my wrists, that is legit the stuff of nightmares. (Think a plucked chicken, but with the meat removed.) And my tatas..? ... WHAT tatas..? ;D My former DDs are simply sacks of hanging flesh...

With all my hard work to lose weight and get healthier, I'm left with a body that I hazard not many people would be okay with at the end of the day. I'm single, still looking for my forever partner.. but can't feel confident with my clothes off... And as a mermaid performer who's strived for 10+ years to find paying work as an underwater entertainer, where my primary obstacle was my size, now I'm pretty sure they won't hire a fish whose flesh is undistinguishable from the water... (No matter how much I've tried to break the mold, I'm still faced with the fact that there ARE industry standards, until we break down those barriers someday.) And right now, with all this extra skin, there's still no hope of me making my dream of being a paid mermaid performer a reality. Bc let's be honest, who's gonna a hire a super saggy fish..??

I still owe Medicare my $2,000 deductible, so first that's ground zero. After that, from my research and the consultations I've gotten with respected, lovely plastic surgeons, I'm gonna need around $35k to get everything I need done. Instead of a body lift, I've been told I need the less invasive "360 Mommy makeover" which includes a tummy tuck, lipo & abdominal restructuring), a booty & thigh lift, and for the arms, a brachioplasty. (Skin removal from the underarms to about mid-forearm.) And finally, to pull up and restructure my empty chest, a breast lift and saline implants. (Bc a lift would still leave me with saggy, flat sacks, since there's no fat tissue in there anymore. The nips would be higher, but unlike a small, pert chest, mine would be more like empty earlobes.)

This isn't just about vanity. This is about my career as a performer, and my ability to feel free and confident in my body, in clothes and out, and living the lift I've worked so incredibly hard to achieve, against all the odds. And being happy in my skin, for maybe the first time in my life. I know I'm no spring chicken. I know my skin won't bounce back the way it might've 20, 30 years ago. But I never had the "free in my body, confident young years." I never got to be flirty with guys, have fun dating, or wear the cute, trendy clothes that were popular growing up- or heck, even an adult over the decades. I have always, ALWAYS struggled with my weight. And I've fought countless battles to get here. Including just getting my insurance to cover my initial weight loss surgery. (And you would not BELIEVE all the hoops, time, energy, & paperwork that took alone.) And I did it all on my own, as a blind, queer, single woman over 40, with no real support system. No spouse, no local family. Just a few amazing friends on occasion, willing to take time from their own families and bury lives to ensure I didn't die after surgery.

I never wanna be a burden. I live my life trying to be as independent as possible, despite my disability. But unless I magically win the lottery, I'm never gonna have the money I'll need to afford ANY of these procedures, much less all of them. As an artist and performer, there's not enough soap in the WORLD for me to be able to earn $35k. And most of the events I perform at are charity and community outreach events that don't pay me for my appearances. (And let's be honest, that's largely because I don't look the way paying venues want mermaids to look.) So that's where you come in. I desperately need your help. The brachioplasty is about 9k, & the Mommy Makeover with chest reconstruction is about $25k. And every time I wake up in the morning any see the element skin hanging off my sagging forearms, I'm reminded of not only how far I've come, but how far I've still got to go.

You're not even a candidate for skin removal until you're over a year post-op. And they suggest you hit your goal weight or are relatively close to it by the time you get any plastic surgery, so your skin has less to bounce back from if you're still losing weight. Well, t figure I'm around 20 - 40lbs shy, and by the time I've raised wherever funds this'll raise, I'll likely be about at that point. (Some I don't expect this to explode and automatically fund everything I'm filling to get done overnight.) They say skin removal takes anywhere from 15-20lbs, and with everything I need fine t, it'll have to be completed in stages, to reduce overall trauma to the body. Which means I'll have to get multiple surgeries, & in sections, while considering down time for healing when I'm not performing as much (ie, the off/colder seasons, outside of prime "mending season.") They'll do the arms & chest in one go, and then, the tummy and lower body in another, well after I'm fully healed. Which means, more time to earn the money needed , and more time to continue losing, & moving toward my goal.

It gets harder to lose the closer you are to your goal, and my body has LOVED clinging to the weight it's carried for so many decades. (The plateaus have been REAL, depressingly frequent, & stubborn.) But I'm even MORE stubborn. I'm bound & determined to make this reality happen. Nothing's gonna stop me. Not now, not after all the work I've done and how far I've come. But I've got no sugar-daddies. No rich relatives waiting to give me bags of inheritance money. I barely survive on a thousand dollars a month, in a major metropolitan city (which I need to live in as both a performer, and a blind person, dependent on public & paratransit.) i don't like asking for money. (In fact, I detest it.) But I'm having to face the fact that in this case, three no other way. There's no amount of art I could sell, gigs I could do, or odd jobs I could proffer to make THIS kind of money. I have no houses or cars I could sell. Nobody waiting in the wings to fund this blind mermaid's dreams. So.. this time, I'm reaching out and asking for help. Help me manifest the buddy I've worked so hard to achieve. The body that might help make me ACTUALLY marketable and visible to venues that PAY their performers, and I might actually make a REAL living as a mermaid entertainer, & get OFF SSDI.

I wanna feel confident and free in my skin after all the time and hard work, before it's too late for my to enjoy my body entirely. I wanna make dreams for others come true.. as an underwater performer, and bring a message of inclusion & acceptance in ALL I do, wherever I may go.

But I literally can't do this alone. I need your help. Please.

I know times are hard for everyone, so I understand if you can't help. But if you can, even a little, EVERY BIT HELPS, no matter how small. And if you don't have any clams to spare, that's okay! Spreading the word will help a ton too! Together, we can make magic. Let's show the world that no matter one's challenges, Every. Body. Can. Live. Their. Dreams.

And thank you, meramigo.