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I was the one to say you're eulogy because you meant the world to me...

Thank you all for coming on this mournful day, my husband Frank, daughter Caitlin, my son Ryan, my father, brother, all Wesley's other family and friends who journeyed here to help us celebrate my son's life shows how very much he was truly loved. Wesley came into this world December 14, 2000, my first born son, a blond haired, brown eyed, gorgeous child. He was charming and definitely a ladies’ man from the start. I remember at three, him telling me over and over again, “Mommy, you’re so pretty.” It meant the world to me, and I'm thankful and blessed to have been called Mommy by him. I stand here today with a broken heart, not knowing how I’m going to get through life without him, and knowing I will never receive another phone call saying "mom I have a question".

Wesley struggled with mental illness most his life, through adolescent and adulthood. Wesley's young life was filled with psychiatric appointments and hospital stays trying to get medications tweaked. I followed the doctors and "experts". In hindsight, and with all that is becoming known about the over-medicating and drugging of so many children, I'm not sure if that did more harm than good, but I did the best with what I knew to raise him and struggled because there was no cure or fix. It was extremely difficult and exhausting and took a tremendous toll on the whole family.

By puberty we dealt with the consequences which led him to go to an alternative school. Later in life he started self medicating and ultimately using illicit drugs. He became what is referred to as a functioning addict, and got high to numb his pain from the demons that taunted him, and, of course, the devastating loss of his sister.

Wesley had a lot of bad breaks through his life and drugs really took over after he was shot in 2023 – crushing and consuming him. He tried so hard to fight his demons that he struggled with through adolescents and adulthood and carried the physical pain from being shot and carrying a bullet lodged in his chest wall, in addition to the emotional pain of not being able to see his children. I realized a year ago that Wesley began using steadily after being told he had overdosed several times. I tried talking to him because I was not ready to lose another child, I tried to get him into rehab, but he refused. Through it all Wesley had the kindest soul and even tried to help others with the same problems. However, he never seemed to be able to help himself and get ahead to turn his life around. As the years went on, his friends ended up dead, in jail or deserted him, jobs didn’t work out and relationships failed. Through it all, he still tried and persisted, often upbeat and always had another plan. Sometimes he was very angry, blaming others for his fate in life or just plain depressed. The drugs took him in the end, but that was not one of his plans.

Now I feel this emptiness that will forever live in my maternal soul. I have to tell myself that Wesley lived a full 24 years, but there were definitely forces beyond his control, and choices he made that didn't help. Albeit not perfect we shared a bond that only a mother and son could understand. Wesley knew he could count on me always. There were good times in-between the lulls of hardships, because in his heart, Wesley was a good and caring person. He fought through the hardest and toughest of times and fought hard. He deserved this better life he had begun to build.

I want to thank Haley for bringing me back my baby boy. You made him want to be a better man. You showed him what it was to be truly loved. I only wish he saw himself the way we saw him. I am devastated to be losing my baby boy forever. In the last 6 months it seemed he was finally getting his life together and I was almost at a place where I didn’t feel like I needed to worry as much. But the other shoe dropped despite how much Wesley truly wanted to beat this addiction.

As too many come to know, addiction is a monster, a very powerful and cunning monster. I understand I didn’t cause it, couldn’t control it and couldn’t cure it, and sadly this proved true in both my son Wesley and daughter Mackenzie's case. If love could have saved them, both my children would still be here. I never gave up on either and did my very best to avert this outcome. Wesley left behind pieces of him that live on within my grandbabies Serenity, Wesley Jr., and Zachary, and I know he will be watching over them from heaven.

Wesley, I am so proud of the man and father you became. On the night you died, when Haley called to tell me, I was hoping it was a horrible dream and was not true. It was the second time feeling this gut wrenching pain in my life, and there is no worse feeling. My hope that things would get better is gone forever, but I understand Wesley's struggles and suffering are now over. Ours are just beginning and will continue in perpetuity. Rest in peace my little Wes woo. I will love you always and forever.