Hi whoever found your way here, thank you so much already!

My name is Seth and I am here for what I would like to call a cry for help for my partner and spouse Vero.

Vero was born in Canada but living in Sweden, is non-binary, a loving spouse, parent to our soon 7-year-old, and just finished their Master's in Sexual Reproductive Health and Rights and is looking to be able to help give medical rights and help to trans people through an intervention/implementation plan they have created. But before they are able to do anything, they are the one who is in grave need of medical help and rights and to have someone listen and finally receive a voice.

Vero is suffering from a plethora of problems, and it is so complex I don't know where to start. Not even we know exactly what is the cause, which is part of the problem.

So let me just describe a normal day from my perspective.

Before summer vacation started there was this day, I woke from the alarm at 6 am to get up to send our kid to school. Due to my own chronic pain and insomnia, it is incredibly difficult and I wanted to cry and ask Vero to get up instead. I felt them almost vibrating beside me and I got scared, turned around and asked them if they're okay. I got some small sounds back and more shaking. I keep asking and they finally managed to get out that the side pain in their lower abdomen is so bad they don't know what to do.

I went to reheat their hot water bottle and sit down with them before I need to go back and check on the child I am in the process of getting to school. Vero with a still shaky voice says they don't know how to do this anymore and need some sort of help. But we don't know what to do.

Due to the pandemic they cannot, for the moment, return to Canada and seek care there, which would take time regardless and we can't be away from home forever. It took nearly 15 years before a referral was made in Canada to someone to help, and they dismissed the problem entirely. Last fall Vero had what was assumed to be a cyst or endometrioma burst and they've only been getting worse. Regardless we are only living on the small amount I get for benefits, which is less than even one person can live on. We are in debt and we are scared every day.

They are not eligible for health care here in Sweden, due to them not having a Swedish social security number. Something that may seem easier said than done to receive. Even then the help is minimal and slow, and I don't know how easy it is to talk them into doing a full body scan and potentially endo surgery. There are a lot of complications that can happen from not having a surgeon who has dealt with this before, and we want the chance of having another child. We need to see someone who specializes in this area.

The rest of the day Vero spends in bed or the couch, resting but unable to sleep. They never sleep, which makes the symptoms so much worse, but it's also the reason they can't sleep. They sit with their phone and laptop, fighting to concentrate through the severe headache, throbbing pain with needles through their head, hands, and feet, auras making them dizzy and worsening hearing due to tinnitus making every small sound elevated. They are trying to apply for jobs, education, anything to help both our family and others.

But they beat themself up at the end of the day, not having able to apply for the things they should have, or not having worked through the things they should have. Simply because the pain creates such a fog that they are unable to see through.

With both of us being chronically ill with severe fatigue and a child and myself included on the spectrum makes life not just difficult, but impossible. Yet we are living the unlivable, as I would like to call it. But with Vero getting worse every single day, I fear not just to see them in daily pain, but for their life. To leave them completely untreated can have devastating results. And I don't want to lose the most important person in my life.

They struggle every single day to try, to fight through the pain on the same level as a person in labour. They try to be able to help take care of me and our child, we both have special needs and a lot of appointments that Vero not only drive us to every week, but made sure we received the help in the first place. But they are becoming unable to do much more, because the severity of their pain and problems are only increasing.

We've tried every suggestion made by professionals. We've tried pain meds, they've stopped working despite the stronger ones barely being used.

They love hiking, travelling and seeing places. But the pain has made it so they can't even be in the car for more than an hour before the pain gets too unbearable. And this is someone who used to cross Canada down to the states 8h without blinking. And now can't even drive the 40min to our nearest city for mine and our kid's medical appointments without crippling pain.

Imagine, there are people who can help with the biggest struggles in the world. To fight unfairness, find a solution through research and dedication. A guiding voice in a crowd of fear. But what if that person was held back in their potential for change, because they are suffering to a degree they need to tend to their own basic survival, before they can improve someone else's. There are many people like this in the world, it's impossible to locate and help them all. But I'm telling you, please. Help this one.

I see them struggle every single day, see them want to do so much. So many ideas, and not just ideas, they know exactly what they need to do but they can't live out their full potential with their chronic health issues.

The pain might never go completely away, but there needs to at least be an attempt to live something different from this. Not knowing if you will ever get some kind of help, knowing it will only get worse without it. That is a life of fear, no one deserves to live like that.

We found one option, actually. There is a clinic in the UK specializing in endometriosis treatment. We have had contact with them and they seem great. But greatness unfortunately come with a cost. Initial appointments are costly, and they'll need scans done here in Sweden that will also be substantially expensive. I tell Vero that they are priceless, their life is worth more than money and debt. But that doesn't make the funding magically appear. This is our last hope.

It might not just be endometriosis, there is so much going on that someone would need to look them through top to toe. Everything got significantly worse after they contracted covid-19 spring 2020 after customers of theirs ignored social distancing, I honestly thought I was going to lose them. They were still in Canada and every night we hung up the phone I was scared they wouldn't wake up the next day.

We began thinking about lupus, as serious as that sounds, that serious is just how bad their problems are, if not worse. That is why we need to properly find out what is going on and treat the problem. Give them a life again, or a life they never had the chance to live yet.

I just want my spouse back, our child to have his other parent back. And Vero to have a life and chance to live out their aspirations and work hard for their passion to help others in life.

So please consider donating anything, to help pay the extensive medical bills we already have, and going to have.