Support Toni's Battle Against Terminal Cancer

My name is Chris. I’ve been married for soon to be 20 years to my beautiful, strong wife and mother of our two boys, and a wonderful grandmother to our one and only granddaughter, Madelyn.

On April 29th, 2022, the call came in after a routine check-up. She was home with our oldest son at the time. 'Hello, is this Toni?' 'Yes, it is.' 'Hi, this is your doctor. I’m sorry, are you home and is someone with you?' 'I’m home and my son is here. You’re scaring me, why?' 'Toni, I’m sorry to tell you, you have leukemia, and it’s the worst kind (AML) with Flt3, which is a horror gene to have along with it, incurable.'

She cried and cried and cried before she called me at work. I was in shock and disbelief. I came driving home faster than I probably should have, but I just needed to get to her. As soon as I walked in the door, I hugged her with one arm and dialed the doctor with the other. I walked outside and began to try and talk the doctor out of this diagnosis. I was on the phone for at least 2 hours, but to no avail. She, in fact, had CANCER! We dove right in the next couple of days with the attitude that no matter what we needed to do, we were going to do it and get through it.

Well, 8 months later, she was in remission and ready for a stem cell transplant. Boy, let me tell you, she is the toughest woman I have ever met. She fought for about another 6-8 months before she could even eat and keep food down. I remember that first Christmas with our boys; she fought so hard to keep a smile on her face (the whole time her head was in a bucket puking), but she wouldn’t miss Christmas with her boys for anything. She worked so hard at Karmanos just to make sure she’d be home for them, for us as a family.

I watched her fight every day and put a smile on her face as if everything was normal. She doesn’t talk about it; she doesn’t ever want anyone to feel sorry for her. She just kept on living life until it worked. She finally was back to herself, and we had a beautiful granddaughter, which she just can’t get enough of.

Then, almost a year to the day (October 2023), she started having pain in her lower back and down her legs. Doctors said it’s sciatica; here are some meds, you’ll be fine. In the back of our minds, we were thinking, no, this is not fine. We asked for imaging stat, and sure enough, she had a large tumor on L5 lower back that affects her walking ability and is extremely painful. But once again, she said, 'I’ve got this,' and started radiation and chemotherapy. Well, this time was a little different because they completed radiation, but to the doctors' findings, it destroyed all her nerves while doing radiation. She never complained about it once, just dealt with the pain thinking the tumor was gone, right? Wrong! They ran more tests to find out now the cancer is in her spinal fluid, and she will need lumbar punctures in her back weekly. If anyone knows what that is, it is where they insert a long needle into her back and withdraw fluid and replace it with chemo. That was done about 15-20 times. Yay, we finally got a negative result; her cancer is no longer in her spinal fluid. This is great news, no tumor, no cancer in her spinal fluid. Well, this was short-lived.

In June of this year, she woke up in the morning, and her tongue was crooked, like really crooked. So we called the doctor, and he said go to your nearest emergency room; you probably had a stroke. Scared as hell after all she has been through, we drove like the wind, got there, and the tests began: scans of her head, lumbar puncture, blood work, EKG, ultrasounds. Well, once again, doctors said no stroke, but we’re sorry to tell you your cancer is back in your spinal fluid, and it’s pressing on your 12th cranial nerve and affecting your tongue, and half of it will never be normal. It is basically dead on one side of her tongue. She said, 'OK, what do I need to do?' They once again said, 'Let’s do all the work-ups, and we will let you know what our next step is.' Well, unfortunately for my wife, who is the strongest person I know, never complains, never cries in front of our children, and deals with whatever she gets thrown at her, once again is hit with, 'Your cancer is back with a vengeance! It’s in your blood, your bones, your spinal fluid, and now you have another tumor in T1 and T2. We’re sorry to say you are TERMINAL!'

You know, she didn’t even cry. I think she has fought so hard every other time, I think she thinks this is just another battle she will win. But unfortunately, it’s happening fast. She’s already been hospitalized 2 times since diagnosis again, and both times were very lengthy. We just got her home on October 10th again, and we’d like to keep her here for a while. When all this happened years ago, we set up a GoFundMe to help out until she could get back to herself and work, but now, unfortunately, we are struggling. I hate to even ask, but I see this work and help for so many families. We still have kids, and I took on now 2 jobs. I was doing 3, but her appointments are now daily for transfusions (blood and platelets). I’m not that good with my words, may have not even spelled things right, or my punctuation is all messed up, but I hope I was able to get my point across enough for you to know how much I love her and how much she loves us. Her only worry is, are we going to be OK, are we going to survive all this? She is in pain every day, can’t eat, nauseous, can’t even stand up in the shower any longer by herself due to her low blood count and platelets. She tries so hard every day not to show her fear or let her boys know, and me for that matter, that she’s not scared. But if you can find it in your heart to help, even if it’s just a little bit to ease her worry of making sure her boys are taken care of, I know it sounds silly to think that money would make a difference, but the fact of the matter is, that is her only worry. She doesn’t ask for much, maybe her best friend’s brownies from time to time, maybe a talk from her sister or her mother so she can act like everything is OK and normal. But when she lays her head down on that pillow at night, the last thing she says to me every night is, 'Are you and the boys going to be OK?'

Thank you to everybody, all of her friends that have reached out, all of her family that make sure they call me or her children. We’re really not people to ask for much from our friends and family, but unfortunately, we need help. I don’t know how long Toni will be with us. The doctors gave her around six months, so if I can get help and show her that we are going to be OK when she leaves us, I think it will make her feel better and take a lot of stress off of her, on top of everything else she has going on.

Thank you, and God bless each and every one of you.