Support Tommy's Dying Wish for His Husband

My Dying Wish is to Give My Husband a Final Christmas Gift!

On Nov 13th I was told I am TERMINAL with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. I may only have a few months left to live. Even if I can get Chemo it will only give me an extra month or two. I will be posting this GOFUNDME request before I tell my Husband I did it because I know he would never ask for public help for himself, also my mental state and my body is rapidly declining, and I want to do this before it’s too late. I want to do this for My Husband! PLEASE READ MY LETTER!

My name is Tommy Hyder. I am 69yrs old. I worked 47 yrs for the same company, FAMILY DOLLAR, from when I was 17yrs old until I had a stroke in 2019, then I lost my job because of it. I have been with my husband for 41yrs as of Jan 28th, 2025. We worked our whole lives to buy our little retirement condo. Since the stroke we have been hit with medical bills and debt that made it impossible to pay on our Social Security. I filed Chapter 13 Bankruptcy and everything we own is tied to it.

Now terminal cancer, when I die, my Husband loses everything we have because the bankruptcy will not be paid off and the Creditors and Mortgage Company will take it all. He will be evicted from our home and will not have the income to move out our possessions or even a place to live. Without both our Social Security Checks, he won’t even be able to have my body cremated. We have no family or friends who can help us financially or take him in. He will be homeless and lose everything we’ve ever owned.

After my stroke, in 2019, the hospital wanted to put me in a nursing home, but my Husband refused and got me into a rehab hospital. He taught me to walk again without a walker, speak clearly, to write, and strengthen my memory with mental exercises. He’s taught me so much about safety that I have never had a fall.

I have been sick for the last year and a half before finally being diagnosed terminal with pancreatic cancer. I have been in the hospital 5 times since May. After all our hard therapy I am back on a walker and soon I will have to be in a wheelchair completely. My Husband has learned how to do so many things to take care of medical needs. He manages medications, doctors, tests, procedures and surgeries. He’s been a fierce and unstoppable advocate for my health and life. He takes all the hits and shields me just so I can keep fighting for my life. He gives me 24-hour care with no help from anyone. He never complains, He just says, “I love you, Sweetie!”. He worked to make our checks and debts meet but had to quit when he developed a chronic illness that has kept him from standing or sitting for too long. He won’t go back to the doctor when pain flares up because of the loss of a copay or another medicine that I might need. I think I took for granted that he has always been the caretaker of our family but watching him fiercely and tirelessly battle for my life gives me strength and I hope I would have done the same for him. I’m telling you all this because I want you to see how hard life is for him and yet he still fights for me. I wish everyone could have someone to love them as much as my husband loves me!

My husband and I are as much in love today if not more than we were that first year, 41 yrs ago. We both grew up poor and worked hard, and when we bought our retirement condo, we thought we had finally made it. Now life has changed in a split second and it’s never coming back. I will not die easily, and my soul will not rest knowing I left him like this. Homeless, penniless, and hopeless.

MY REQUEST: With your valuable and loving help, my dying wish is to Give My Husband the Last Christmas Gift I Will Ever Give Him. I want to raise enough funds for him to remain living in our retirement condo. OUR HOME! The funds raised will be used to continue the bankruptcy payments until paid off and to supplement the loss of my income until he can be back on solid ground. I just want him to finally have some rest and peace in his life. I need him to know he is loved, and people really are capable of kindness, generosity and Christmas Spirit without exploiting or shaming him for our dire situation. He’s never liked being in the spotlight but loves shining light on others.

My Husband is a good and decent man, the bravest man I’ve ever known. He deserves some good to happen to him on OUR LAST CHRISTMAS TOGETHER. Please help me to make this last Christmas THE BEST CHRISTMAS OF OUR LIFE! He should be able to live in our own home in peace knowing no one will take it from him. No funds raised will go to me, not a dime, only to him, though I know he will pay for my cremation out of them.

I would like to see this happen before I die but knowing I have only a few months to live, I am so afraid I may pass before then. God bless you all and may you all find it in your hearts to help. If you cannot help, would you please share my post with family, friends and anyone who might be able to help?

I know my post is long but It’s the only way to tell our story. It has taken me days to write it because I’m so weak and in pain and takes a lot of effort to focus my mind. I’ve not written anything this long before in my life. Thank you for reading!

Merry Christmas to you and your family and Thank You with All My Heart! And as my Husband always says, “May You Be Healthy, Safe and Happy!”

Thank You! Tommy Hyder

( Hi Everyone! With Tommy's permission and help, I edited his post to shorten it and make his message more understandable. We also decreased his monetary request to a more realistic goal! God love him! Tommy's cancer has increased the physical and mental impairments of his stroke. I love him for doing this for us! And I know that everyone who knows Tommy can see Tommy's true heart through his request! Thank you all and we send you so much love! May You be Healthy Safe and Happy! Reis)