Support my Medical Treatment and Musical Revival ! ♥️
Donation protected
Hello friends and followers,
My name is Misha. Misha Greysky AKA Snarf_Music are my stage/online names.
As much as i'd like for this GoFundMe to be about helping another charitable group or good cause, i am unable to do that until i get back on my own feet and stabilize myself because, besides for my few personal possessions i've really got nothing left financially.
i started this GoFundMe to ask for help getting myself back to live streaming performance of my original amazing music and recording spectacular music and albums, because i have been in bad health since July 2021 and have not been able to work or make music or even practice guitar for a majority of the time since (details below) , and still have no income and no money left or savings in order to start live streaming, which will become an income stream , albeit a small one at first (it will grow onto part time and then full time as i've found my purpose in life is to be a musician full time).
Let me introduce myself before i continue with the context...
For those of you who may not know me and what i do, i specialize in playing guitars and writing/composing music. I write, record, perform, and produce all my own original music. my dream, and my purpose in life, is to help share my music because i know people like it and it inspires emotion, provokes thought, motivates and provides a source of creativity for them, and i want to share that idea with people particularly growing musicians such that the may pass along their musical gift to the world as well.
Here are my main links, Twitch being mainly for live streaming and YouTube+Soundcloud mainly for posting my music to hear anytime, and Facebook to announce new and upcoming works/events/livestreams and updates:
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/mr-mishka
please remember to follow me on Twitch, YouTube, and Facebook to stay notified.
at the start of 2021, after somewhat of a hiatus from guitar/making music largely in part to the pandemic and life stress, i realized my purpose in life: to write and perform music that would invigorate and inspire others, and so i made a new commitment to devote myself entirely to my that aim. as you will see, i was getting back into writing very quickly and quickly reaching a new peak of my skills and writing ability, perhaps even higher than ever before.
unfortunately, starting with an acute back injury that exacerbated my previous chronic back condition, things slowed way down almost to a half, and as you will read detailed below, i continued to sustain difficult life events, injuries, and health problems one after another seemingly without end like a bad luck chain reaction or something. (context continued below)
My 36th birthday is today (Friday June 28th) and i'm asking for your help to get me started live streaming once again. In 2021 began live streaming with performing my original music live from my old smart phone but the quality is not good and i was forced to plug in a cheap microphone so i need a proper beginner's setup at least. i gained only a very small following of a couple hundred people when i attempted to live stream from my desktop computer and just didn't have the right equipment or setup to make it possible. Since that time life hit me pretty hard, health-wise, leaving me unable to work for the majority of the time since. i will explain but in short, i haven't had much support financially and have been barely floating since then.
it was ironically on my 33rd birthday in 2021 that i acutely injured my lower back and was diagnosed with DDD (degenerative disc disease). in late summer my panic attacks became more frequent and severe and it left me afraid to drive over 30 minutes time because i would begin to have panic attacks while driving which made it really dangerous.
in august that year i lost my best friend Sam, who was not only a fan of my work but a driving inspiration in everything i did. i became increasingly depressed and my grief/mourning response was greatly debilitating due to it triggering my panic attacks to get even worse which themselves became further debilitating.
later that Summer a random drunk guy assaulted me for no reason and hurt my right wrist which hasn't been the same since. i was in casts and splints for months and it basically stopped my ability to play guitar and combined with my lower back injury i was still healing from and increasing frequency and severity of panic attacks i was unable to do anything. tragically, on the night the drunkard injured me, i was finalizing my new music and monetization strategy project to be announced the very next morning, and due to the injury, i was unable to proceed with the launch of my project (which would have supported me financially) or play or record any music for a very long time.
in early 2022 i got diagnosed with Panic Disorder, which had gone undiagnosed since early childhood when i started having panic attacks. i agreed to try anti-depressants and a couple different benzo's (first Ativan then Klonopin) which, without my realizing it months later, had effectively turned me into a zombie. before i knew it, i was completely non-functional: whether it was back or wrist pain, panic attacks with increasing frequency/severity as the meds wore off, or being in a zombie-like state while the meds were peaking. fortunately i was able to get myself off all those meds in July and August but by then i realized i had lost a lot of time and needed to try and get back to work.
I got a job at a grocery store and i was doing okay for months until suddenly, in Summer 2023, i was unable to stand, let alone work, for even 3 hours straight without collapsing and was having panic attacks at work making it even worse. i tried to tough it out for a couple weeks but it became quickly clear i was suffering from chronic fatigue and weakness, tachycardia (fast heart rate for any reason), as well as constant severe muscle tension such that i can almost never relax my muscles, of an unknown origin.
I decided to go on medical leave from work to try and get better in order to be able to work a full shift again.
I'd had 3 shots from Moderna and have never tested positive for covid but after many many many trips to every doctor i could think of (except neurologist because i'm still waiting to be seen) , the doctors tell me it's either Long Covid, or Fibromyalgia, or something else unknown so they don't know how to treat what's happening to me because they don't know why it's happening. i 'd already had muscle spasms and they became worse and all over the body, and frequent shooting pains in the limbs, and severe exhaustion.
it is something called ME/CFS (myalgic encephalomyelitis / chronic fatigue syndrome) and so far the cause in humans is unknown but some people say it can result from covid causing long covid.
daily migraines since beginning 2024, new vision changes/problems seeing and new ophthalmic migraines for the last 4 months, severe sensitivity to light (particularly street/traffic lights) making me unable to drive after dark for the last 5 months, strong insomnia (i've been up all night 5 days this week), high blood pressure, chronic joint pain and weakness, the last 4 months my knuckles in my fingers all began painfully bending backwards and buckling even under light weight or grips (hypermobility) and i started wearing finger splints, depression and anxiety is a daily battle, and i could probably go on. I did test negative for arthritis and Lyme disease.
The past 3 months i started going back to the gym+pool every week and it's really helped improve my energy and strength levels but i still worry it's not quite enough yet to get back to a laborious job, perhaps a part time desk-job at best for now. when i went on leave from work in 2023, i was unable to lift a 30 pound box at all, and i'd like to come back much stronger than that.
the past several months since i left work has been particularly hard given i've had no income aside from a bit of money sent by family occasionally .
Right now, i need to find a neurologist ASAP to try and figure out what's going on with me still, despite getting some better energy and strength, the other problems persist.
i recently found out about Stiff-Person Syndrome (terminal), and i'm afraid there's a chance i might have it but need to get checked for it first, of course. i have all the symptoms including doctors not know what it is and settling with possibly Fibromyalgia or my just my anxiety.
In conclusion, the past 3 years have been a real struggle and i'm happy to say things are slowly but surely getting better.
i'm practicing guitar again but i lost so much time and opportunity , not only to continue what i had prior to 2021 but also so much to start what i had envisioned since that time.
Right now it really feels like i'm re-learning from a level perhaps 10% that of what it was prior to my poor health/injuries. on the bright side you will have a front row seat in seeing me greatly progress and excel in a trajectory back towards my peak ability and even further!
i promise to deliver quality original music in many different genres and styles - and this is not only my life's work thus far but will be indefinitely. my long term goal is go full time music producer with a pro music studio one day, where i not only work on my creations but help other rising and semi-pro musicians and creators perfect their compositions and productions manifest their ideas into tangible results they will be happy with.
so far, i primarily live streamed on Twitch but plan to expand to Facebook and YouTube as well.
once i start streaming again, i will make plans to re-launch (actually the initial launch) of my Patreon Project which will allow my supporters to access exclusive content thanks to their support, rather than selling singles or albums.
I will continue doing free live streams in addition to officially launching my Patreon page in the near future.
the follow is a list of hardware and some basic things i will need to get started doing a decent live stream and help me get up and running. unfortunately in the past 3 years i moved around a lot including separating from my partner and lost some of my gear particularly stands and cables.
the list estimates prices as best as i can - i've done research recently but prices change of course.
medical:
TBD exact amounts but upcoming treatments will likely be thousands of dollars and it will be all out of pocket since my insurance doesn't cover any of the treatments my doctor has suggested.
musical:
$450 a good i9 PC processor for music production (my current PC is an i3 and not powerful enough for this)
$150 a good power supply to protect the PC hardware from surges
$150 audio interface
$50 guitar strings x3 sets (1 for each of my guitars)
$75 instrument cables (guitar, fx pedals, microphone, keyboard)
$100 a microphone suitable for voice
$150 a microphone suitable for acoustic guitar
$45 microphone stands x2
$200 a quality camera for live streaming
$30 camera tripod/stand
$175 a decent quality 4k display
$150 a Roland Edirol PCR 300 Midi Controller (mine caught on f*re a couple yrs ago).
$150 a decent beat/drum machine because i love my Looper but the drums are limited.
$50 room lighting for live stream
$180 x2 external backup hard drives (2 TB each)
$150 a decent audio monitor for live streaming (i might not need this at first, and may or may not come later)
$65 miscellaneous expenses including sales tax+shipping
$500 food, gas, and pet food for my cats.
thank you so much for your continued support, whether you can donate or not. if you can afford it, please donate what you can and i promise you - you won't regret it! i have really big things in the works... amazing ideas including collaborations and i already started doing some small recordings of various ideas including my upcoming Spooky Halloween "album" i plan to launch this year.
whether you can donate or not, please remember to follow me on Twitch (it's free), subscribe on YouTube (free), and my Facebook Music Page (free) to stay up to date with my work and live streaming schedule.
the 2 videos attached below is just days prior to my injuries and bad health problems starting in June 2021... i was already working at getting back to my prior guitar peak skills because i had already been on a sort of hiatus even prior to 2021 hence the name "guitar rehab sessions" i came up with, and a short clip of me playing outdoors.
This is one of my best productions, which I created using my real instrument recordings and computer programs and instruments mixed together
Thank you all, again, so much for your unwavering support and your most valuable friendship.
Note: I wrote this GoFundMe the night before my birthday and when i woke up the next day i was very sick and tested positive for covid19 for the first time, so this month has been quite the rollercoaster. hopefully i will not be effected by the disease permanently for example long covid , or that my ME/CFE will not get triggered or worsen.
Organizer
Misha Graynovskiy
Organizer
Washington D.C., DC