On January 15th 2021, we got a call from our midwife about “abnormalities” in our baby’s 20 week anatomy check ultrasound. These abnormalities point to serious chromosomal defects that would need further testing to confirm.
The next couple of months would consist of a blood test, an amniocentesis, lots of Google searches, and a really really big prayer request.
All of the testing and subsequent ultrasounds have confirmed that our baby girl, who we’ve named Ellie Rae Moseley, has full blown Trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome). This puts her in the single digit percentage chance of surviving to term, let alone birth, or coming home to join our family for any amount of time. That is to say, there is really no medical chance she will make it.
We have felt every imaginable emotion these last couple of months, as we have processed, prayed, and discussed.
Along the way, we have felt an outpouring of love and support. Often, we are asked “How can we help?” or “How can we pray?”
Our deepest longing in this situation is to see Ellie healed. We are praying fervently that God will work a miracle in her and radically change the course of what is otherwise a completely hopeless loss. We also know that He may chose to heal her in Heaven instead.
We are learning to lean on His strength and His Word in this season. We are trusting and believing that everything He does and everything He allows, must first filter through the hand of His great and undeniable love for us.
We do not yet know if our journey will include a stillbirth, a few hours of connection with Ellie, a few days/weeks at home with an infant in hospice care, or a fully healed baby girl that no one but God can take credit for. All are possible outcomes.
The scripture that has been on my heart the most in this season has been Psalm 103, which says:
“Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives ALL your iniquity,
who heals ALL your diseases,
who REDEEMS your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed. .... ....
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.”
We do know that we need the continued support and prayer of our family, friends, neighbors, and fellow believers in order to persevere and keep the faith. We also know we will have some tangible needs as this journey continues to unfold.
Expenses could vary based on the specific outcome of her birth and/or passing. We know it would be a great help to know we could take a little time off of work in the wake of her delivery.
We humbly thank all of you who have been walking with us, praying for Ellie, and offering a listening ear.
Our great hope is in Jesus. We are so grateful for his presence in this, the toughest season we’ve ever known.
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