Hello. My name is Tara and I am a sober, multi-hyphenate artist / creative who because of a worsening disability and recent divorce have found myself in a really scary situation. I never wanted to ask for this kind of help, but I’ve reached a point where I can’t do it alone anymore.

If you are not a personal friend and heard my story on the podcast Soft White Underbelly, the information below will provide your more clarity on why I am asking for help.

I would like to start off by saying I am 168 days sober, in a 12-step program and actively working the steps. I am committed to pursuing a different life than the one I was raised in. I have commitments in recovery, fellowship with women regularly and attend meetings daily.

I live with chronic pain and a degenerative spine condition, and I am currently waiting on a disability decision for an application I submitted September 11th. Statistically, most applications are denied the first time, so I am preparing for that possibility while still trying to survive in the meantime. Even with my condition, I continue to take whatever work I can get — including 10-hour production gigs and other creative freelance jobs — even when it causes significant physical pain. Unfortunately, freelance work is inconsistent.

I am currently two months behind on rent and because a few gigs I was hoping I would get this month fell through I don’t have enough for March rent either. Since my separation beginning of September, I have been covering the full cost of my apartment alone after a planned roommate situation fell through — twice — with people who had committed to help move in and split costs. I used all of my savings trying to keep my housing stable.

I was also left caring for 9 animals after the breakup and without a vehicle. I saved for months from freelance income to buy a used car so I could stop losing half my pay to ride share costs just to get to work. I now have a $266 monthly car payment — and the check engine light has come on with an estimated $1,800 repair. What money I have is going towards animal costs and utilities. I cancelled my internet as it was a non essential cost and unfortunately have had to cancel some of my pet’s insurances as well as re-home 4 of the 9 because as painful as it was, it was too much for me.

My medical situation has also been set back by insurance and provider changes. I need back surgery, but due to my age my previous surgeon wants to wait to see if other “treatments” will work before he decided to operate. After being reassigned through Medi-Cal, I’ve had to restart referrals and provider relationships from scratch. This has meant months without my spinal epidural treatments and no physical therapy, which has made daily functioning and even basic cleaning extremely difficult.

I’ve applied to multiple rent-relief and assistance programs and am still waiting for responses. I am selling personal belongings online and doing everything I can to generate income, but it is not enough to catch up on rent or stabilize my situation in time. I’ve been in survival mode for a long time and haven’t been physically able to fully set up my workspace or online store, which is one of the ways I could help support myself.

Making this fundraiser is not easy for me. I waited until the last possible moment because I wanted to solve this on my own. Right now, I’m asking for help to stay housed, repair my vehicle so I can continue working, access medical care, and stabilize enough to rebuild consistent income.

Any support — donations or shares — truly helps more than you know. Thank you for reading and for caring.

WHERE THE FUNDS WILL GO

• Rent (January–March): $6,534

— $2,178 per month to prevent eviction and stabilize housing (landlord said if I can pay the past due months he will keep my rent at 2178 instead of raising it to 2244 which he wanted to start Feb 1st)

• Car repair: $1,800

— Needed to keep transportation for freelance work and medical visits

• GoFundMe processing fees + transaction costs: approx. $300–$400

Total goal: $9,000

Any amount raised beyond this will go toward medical travel, spinal treatment gaps, and basic living costs while I wait on my disability decision and rent relief applications.

ADDITIONAL USE OF FUNDS:

$2000 - Trauma therapy and healing resources (I do not have insurance that covers adequate therapy)

$1000 - acupuncture for pain relief

$1000 - Basic living expenses (internet, pet insurance etc.)

I will provide updates after the fundraiser ends to show my prudent use of funds. If you would like to help in another way: professional connections, therapy donation, animal food, please reach out. Thank you!