A GoFundMe page is one of the last things my sister-in-law and brother wanted.
But whether they want it or not, they need it.
They need you.
So today, I am helping them in the only way I know how — by telling their story.
•••
Twelve years ago, just a month after her 40th birthday, my sister-in-law Stacey Acton was diagnosed with breast cancer — invasive carcinoma, Stage 3. After a double mastectomy, 11 months of grueling chemotherapy and radiation, and $40,000 worth of hospital and doctor bills, doctors proclaimed her cancer-free.
Until last week.
After more than a decade, the cancer is back – and with a vengeance.
Bones. Brain. Lungs.
“It’s easy to say it’s not fair,” she said. “We worked so hard to build our life back. It feels like it’s just one blow after another.”
After Stacey’s year-long battle with breast cancer, the family had to fight another battle — mental health. My little brother was diagnosed with multiple mental health issues which forced him to leave his job and begin the arduous journey to get on disability.
“When we first found out about the cancer, my instinct was to say that I’m tired,” she said. “And it’s easy to say that. I am tired of getting back up, but we have worked too hard to just give up.”
“I’m going to fight.”
•••
And I have no doubt Stacey will fight. She is one of the strongest women I know. But she needs your help.
There is only one thing that scares this mother of two more than cancer — finances.
“We are holding on with a string and a prayer,” Stacey said. “Last time we faced cancer we were more financially well suited, but life is different now.”
It is.
My brother Brian no longer works in management at Lowe’s. He’s on disability. And Stacey, who graduated from the University of Texas at Tyler in 2020, started an entry level job at Tyler Junior College only six months ago.
•••
Summer 2021 was supposed to be about new beginnings. In late July, Stacey visited her two-week-old grandson in Nebraska and was a month away from starting her master’s program in psychology at the UT-Tyler.
Then the pain hit.
First it was her chest.
But an MRI of her chest showed everything was fine.
Then the pain went to her back and hips.
The day after returning from seeing her grandson for the first time, Stacey went to the emergency room for severe pain in her hip. She was simply hoping for pain meds for some relief.
“When the ER doctor saw me, he was kind of skeptical at the beginning,” she said. “He asked why I wasn’t going to my primary doctor, so I told him my history. He decided to do a CAT scan of my pelvic area to look at the hip.”
The doctor warned Stacey that he thought more was going on. He told her they were going to “look for the nasty stuff.”
And they found it. Cancer was in Stacey’s hip bone, femur and across her abdomen wall and bladder.
Here’s the kicker. With her new job, Stacey got health insurance, and she had been trying to get an appointment with her oncologist for the past three months. She knew something wasn’t right, but bureaucracy, miscommunication and possibly incompetence kept her from an appointment.
After only one night in the ER though, she had an appointment with her oncologist the next day.
“When my oncologist walked in the door, she apologized,” Stacey said. “She said she was so sorry and had no idea that I had been trying to see her.”
Stacey has never lived in the world of should-have and what-ifs. She can’t. So she stopped the doctor’s apology and told her they couldn’t waste time on that.
“We need to talk about what we are going to do,” Stacey told the doctor.
They did.
At this point, Stacey has started hormone therapy and a chemotherapy pill that is supposed to stop the growth of the cancer. She also will begin targeted radiation.
But this is just the beginning.
Stacey’s doctor already told her the chemo this time wouldn’t be as bad as before. It can’t be. Stacey’s body can’t take it.
When Stacey had cancer at 40, the doctor threw the “Hiroshima” of chemotherapy at her because of how advanced and aggressive the cancer was. When the doctors removed her breasts 12 years ago, they also took 22 lymph nodes — 20 had cancer cells.
“The doctor said the chemo would be hell, but said I could handle it,” she said. “I was too young to die. My kids were too young. Alesha was only 8. I wasn’t done being a mom yet.”
Stacey endured the “red devil,” which took her hair, her appetite and left her with neuropathy in both feet up to her knees and lymphedema in her left arm.
She beat the cancer. At least for a while.
•••
After recovering from her breast cancer, the battles unfortunately weren’t over for Stacey and her family. Shortly after the radiation stopped, my brother Brian began the fight for his life against multiple mental health issues.
When Brian’s mental health began to decline, Stacey knew she would have to become the bread winner for her family, but times had changed since she left the workforce almost a decade ago. Employers wanted degrees. She didn’t even have a high school diploma, and because of the lasting effects of chemotherapy and radiation a physically-demanding job was out of the question.
Stacey knew she had to go back to school. Luckily living in Whitehouse, she found the TRIO program at Tyler Junior College.
In just four years, while working part-time jobs, Stacey got her GED, finished her associate’s degree and completed her bachelor’s degree in psychology — both degrees came with magna cum laude honors. Her plan was to start her master’s degree this month and become a counselor.
“After I faced death, I knew God had something bigger for me — a reason to be here,” she said. “Because of the mental health issues in my family, I wanted to be a light in the darkness for other people. I wanted to help point the way like so many people did for our family.”
With her undergraduate degree completed, Stacey landed a job as a data specialist and adviser at Tyler Junior College in the program that helped get her started — TRIO.
The new job doubled their income, bringing them barely above the poverty line for the first time since Brian lost his job.
“We are finally breaking even,” she said. “We are not behind on any bills, but there’s nothing in savings.”
And cancer just isn’t cheap.
Not only will bills from doctors and pharmacies pile up quickly, but Stacey also has no vacation or sick days left at work. After all, she’s only been there six months.
So this week — somehow, Stacey plans to return to work. The pain in her bones is so bad that she is using a walker and wheelchair, and she hasn’t even started to feel the effects of the chemotherapy and radiation.
“My boss is great and told me not to worry, but I have to,” she said. “I need the job. We need the money and the insurance.”
•••
As exhausted as she is though, Stacey knows she isn’t alone in this fight. She has her family — Brian, her husband, and two beautiful children – Alesha, 20, and Chance, 28, and a large extended family.
And she has God.
“I learned a time long ago that I can’t do this on my own,” she said. “There’s no way. There is more power with God. I have no power without Him.”
Stacey said her faith is what keeps some of the stress away.
“It doesn’t look pretty right now, but He’s got this,” she said. “He knows what the end of the story looks like so all I can do is trust Him.”
“I am not scared of dying – I’ve already faced that,” she said. “The thought of seeing Jesus and my momma is not a bad thought.
“But we’ve worked too hard to give up now. I’m not giving up yet.”
•••
If you can, please help my sister and brother — Stacey and Brian — in this fight.