Hi, my name is Shaleaf, and asking for help is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I’ve always been independent, responsible, and willing to work hard. The people who truly know me know that I am strong, resilient, hardworking, have a heart of gold, and give to others whenever I’m able. I never give up. But life has dealt me some heavy blows, and I’ve reached a point where I need help to move forward.

Six years ago, my best friend dog Zaagi and I survived a devastating accident that left me with a broken spine, broken ribs, collapsed lungs, heart issues, lasting brain injuries, trauma and more. I woke up in a thunder and lightning storm, crawled back into the wreckage of the vehicle to shelter from the rain, and later woke up unable to breathe—minutes from my heart stopping. Somehow, with a broken spine, a disfunctional leg and barely able to breathe, I managed to slowly and laboriously climb up the cliff and flag down help. I was gratefully taken to town by passer by’s, picked up by ambulance, brought to a helipad, and then airlifted to the hospital for emergency surgery, where I was hospitalized in ICU Cardiac for some time.

Since then, I have endured multiple surgeries, treatments, and therapies—all while dealing with harassment, being pushed around at my home and yard and conservation area, and abuse from neighbors in a toxic and spiritually disturbed “community” environment. All I wanted was peace to heal and genuine support, but too often I was met with opportunists and or those that wanted to take advantage and exploit another human in a vulnerable situation.

That experience changed my life forever. I’ve been navigating not only physical disability but also trauma and spiritual warfare. The darts are off the chart. Some days it’s extremely hard to function. Focus is difficult because of brain injury, ADHD, PTSD, trauma, instability, and sensory sensitivities.

Holding a “normal” job with fixed hours has not been possible for continuous periods. I can hold it down for a bit and then have to walk away and recharge or find another place to stay. Believe me I work hard and try hard and try to hide what I am truely going through as best as I can. I try to express myself yet most people don’t understand so it’s better I keep it to myself.

I’ve owned successful businesses before, and I know I work best setting my own hours and building something of value that helps others. I’ve tried starting new businesses, but instability has made it difficult to stay in one place long enough to feel safe, settled, and focused. I’ve also tried taking classes, but with instability and focus challenges, I’ve had to withdraw before finishing.

I would love if somebody could show me the ropes of starting an online business or being a helpful and valuable asset to theirs where I can work on from anywhere remotely as I have needed to move around a lot. One that doesn’t involve an investment or sales or self promotion. At least not until I can feel confident and worthy again. So if anyone has a successful business that I can help with remotely from the road I would love to learn and be of service. I am a hard worker and have strong work ethic and integrity.

Recently, I tried going back to work in manual labor, but it took a toll on my body because what I do best is manual work, that’s my knowledge and training, yet I am not supposed to do manual labor or lifting and because I tried to work a normal job, I was left without the disability support I had before. Due to clerical errors that I’m having issues resolving in a timely manner. I need to learn new skills that are easy on my body, while getting paid.

As of middle of last month, I have no income coming in and with ongoing monthly bills and debts to pay so it’s getting worrisome. I have a positive outlook, yet I have to be realistic, when I try to express myself fully wherever I am, people take it in a negative way. I’m hopeful I’m just being truthful where I’m at.

My credit is good and I don’t want to damage that. Its taking me a lot of hard work in my life to build it to where it is and I’m proud of myself for maintaining it through it all and even with my minimums and now I’m nervous that I can’t even pay my minimums as I am soon to be in overdraft and non payment of my accts.

Housing has been unstable. I’ve stayed in my vehicle for months at a time just to be near my doctors. At one point, I was curled up in the front seat of my car until I found a quiet place to pitch a tent. I’ve been couch surfing and able to housesit and pet sit at times, which gave me a chance to breathe, but soon I’ll need funds to move on again and to travel to the obligations I have already made for September, October and through November.

I do have a home on conservation land land I care deeply about, that I have been stewarding for over a decade, but because of ongoing conflict and damage caused by others, I haven’t been able to live there safely or peacefully for almost 2 years now, although I go check on it periodically, yet I have to quietly sneak up, because if I’m up there doing needed maintenance and people hear me and notice me, I am often met with hostility as I was a few moth ago when I tried to go back to live and take care of my medical needs.

While I was there the last six years during my healing process, I was harassed, dealt with abuse in so much more. So I have not been able to safely even maintain the property properly, and I’m still paying for it.

On top of that, I’m also facing legal fees tied to the land I am stewarding and love. The same conflicts and damage that have kept me from living there safely have requires me to defend myself legally in the past years and again. I never wanted to be in court, or to bring anyone in, but by violating my personal space, they became part of my story and issue and protecting my home, land, water and rights has become another heavy expense.

I also have to raise legal fees to cover a new disability lawyer as the one that originally worked with my case is no longer practicing. Many new ones won’t even talk to me unless I give them $200 upfront to speak to them for 20 minutes for advice.

In addition, I often have to travel long distances and time zones for medical appointments, legal matters, work and survival needs. These legal and traveling expenses, stacked on top of daily bills, make it even harder to move forward without help. Never mind the very high interest rates I have to fork up and I have tried consolidation. I barely eat, yet when I do I eat healthy and organic. My health and well-being matters to me although it’s been a challenge to maintain properly on the road as well as spreading out my supplements in someone else’s space. I am used to being independent and living alone in my own space with routine.

Right now, the situation is urgent. I have three important obligations this month and next month that require travel, and I have no funds to cover those costs. I also have taxes past due, ongoing monthly bills, legal fees and debts piling up. It is imperative that I raise at least $10,000 by January to prevent falling into even deeper debt and hardship.

I also need to secure stable housing for myself and my remaining belongings mostly sentimental and daily use items, yet takes up space so that I utilize them for well-being. I want somewhere I can access decent work opportunities, physical therapy, body work, neurological testing and healthy community support to continue my healing. Because I’ve been displaced, I’ve already had to stop scheduling needed appts., physical therapy and have missed 3–4 sessions 6 weeks session 2x a week as well as other vital care.

I’ve sought help from county programs, social services, and private organizations, but most say they can’t help me. I have found work in places but have not been able to secure temp housing while accepting the short term temp work.

I don’t even get food stamps yet qualify. Logistical and clerical issues from not being present to understand what was going on after initial accident. I’m not lazy—I do everything I can to move forward—but I’ve reached a breaking point. The more I try the harder they make it for me to succeed and then punish me for it. I don’t want to be dependent of the system, I want to be an active member of healthy community.

I know others are going through hard times too, and I truly sympathize. But right now, I urgently need support to cover basic bills, taxes, insurance, gas for medical and other important appointments, secure housing, storage, legal fees, traveling expenses, food and the debt that keeps piling up.

The $10,000 goal is only to cover my backlog—the urgent debts, daily necessities , travel, taxes, legal fees, and expenses that have piled up while I’ve been in survival mode. Beyond that, I still need to figure out how to continue in the most sustainable, ethical, and steady way forward, so I can live and work with stability, integrity, and health. I work and get things more stable In my finances and then have to find a new place to be and then the debt doubles leaving me in a difficult, stressful.and vulnerable situation.

This fundraiser is about giving me a foundation to stand on so I can rebuild in the right way.

Clearing this weight would allow me to finally stabilize, get proper medical care and therapy, and begin rebuilding work and income in a way that fits my abilities.

I am at the point where I’m trying to sell my vehicle and I need it because it’s also been my home and way to get to jobs and appointments. I’ve already sold what I could that was worth anything for way less than it was worth. And I’ve given away most of the things that I’ve needed in my everyday life, and to maintain the land, as I could not safely leave it behind due to thieves and because storage was expensive and then it burdened me to carry it around aimlessly. I only have a few essential things left that I’m still trying to figure out what to do with. Some of these things I use daily, yet it’s a burden to be lugging them around place to place.

Clearing this financial burden weight would allow me to finally stabilize, get proper medical care and therapy, and begin rebuilding work and income in a way that fits my abilities.

If you can give even a small amount—$5, $10, or $20—it will make a difference.

If you’ve already helped me in the past, please don’t feel pressured—take care of yourself first. You’ve already done so much and I am grateful to you.

Sharing this fundraiser is just as powerful as donating.

I am looking for a home, work my body and mind can handle and a way to get to my next destination which as I now I don’t know where I will sleep tonight.

I live a sober, clean and healthy lifestyle and I’m determined to heal, rebuild, and contribute to community and healing again. I’ve been through the fire, and I’m still standing—but I can’t keep doing this alone. With your help, I can finally move out of fight or flight survival mode, and back into a stable, balanced life worth living.

Thank you humbly with all my heart and gratitude.

Shaleaf