A call for help.

Hey all, I’ve reached this point because I don’t know what to do, and I’m scared. A little over a month ago, I lost my job after a long battle with the company over discrimination due to my disabilities. I have Chronic Fatigue Sydrome and autism, and the combination of both creates circumstances where I need to both sit down on my job (due to orthostatic intolerance caused by chronic fatigue), as well as I need work where I don’t have to interact with people too much, (due to difficulty reading social situations and expectations caused by Autism, which leads to social misunderstanding, and people being hostile towards me.).

I made rent last month, and thankfully, my rent is very low, as the house my roommate and I live in is owned by by her family, so I only pay 550.00 per month in rent. My gas, food, insurance, and other bills add up to about the same amount, maybe a little more.

The problem I am facing, is that there simply aren’t a lot of jobs that are both entry level sitting work, AND also something where I don’t have to interact too much with people. Receptionist positions are fine, because the interactions are shorter, but the quieter the better.

I’m scared. I’ve been looking for work for over a month, and I recently have been brought on as a caregiver but after completing my training yesterday I’m realizing that the physical toll on my body, and amount of constant standing, exceeds what my body can do. I reached out to a lawyer friend and asked if he knew of any organizations and such that help with advocating for disabled people and help them navigate that process, and he said that he used to know of some, but that they’re all closed up now due to budget cuts in the current political climate.

After sitting in meditation for over 2 hours this morning, I realized I needed to write this letter and put it out there, in hopes that someone, or something in the universe can help.

In the short term, I need help with rent and bills. This is an urgent priority. But in the long-term, I need to find some kind of practical solution to this situation. I need a quiet job where I can sit down and not interact too much with people on a regular basis, and/or I may need to genuinely get on disability, but have some kind of advocate, or lawyer who can help with that, as I genuinely have no idea where to start, and I’ve heard it’s kind of a labyrinthine process.

This is scary. I feel very alone, and I don’t have family that can help. I have a stable, long-term Buddhist practice, am an ordained Ngakma, (Tibetan Yogin), and have experienced the deepest nature of the mind. But deep meditation experiences don’t pay the bills, or give me a livelihood that is suitable for someone with chronic illness and autism. Most jobs that might be suitable for such circumstances have been automated away, outsourced to places like China or other countries with cheaper manufacturing, and even entry level computer coding jobs are increasingly hard to come by even if I were to learn such skills.

I am studying Tibetan with the goal in the long term of becoming a translator, however in the meantime I really don’t know what to do. I am going to go out today and spend some of my meager savings buying a new phone to try doing doordash, as my current phone is so old, that the doordasher app no longer supports the software my current phone runs on. It’s expensive, but I don’t see what alternative I have. I’m going to look into donating plasma as well.

But the simple truth is I need some kind of long term solution. I very definitely need immediate short-term help. But what I really need is a job with dignity, and/or some kind of sponsor. Some kind of livelihood where I can simply BE autistic and have chronic fatigue, and not be expected to be anything otherwise. I’m setting up a gofundme for emergency help. I genuinely appreciate all the help I can get, I’m super grateful. But if anyone has any experience or opening for something that’s real work that meets the needs of my health, please, please reach out. I don’t know what to do, and I’m running out of options.

Please help. I know the universe loves us all. But I don’t know what to do about these practical needs. If you can help in any way, it would be greatly appreciated.

With deepest bows and gratitude,

~Ngakma Dechen Lhamo (Sara Hotchkiss)