My name is Pamela Stanley, and I'm struggling so bad right now. I have never been so low down in my life ever before, just to realize that I never had anything anyway. I have always been the one giving; now it's just me. I have no one to give or get anything to or from. I grew up in foster care, and my kids were taken from me for doing the right thing by them. Because I had a spirit that was stolen from my soul, I have ended up all by myself.

So before I just say or feel like bump it all, it's way too hard to move so slow and have nothing to put a single smile on my face because I can't put a single smile on anybody else's face. It's really hard for me to do. I just love to see people happy. Now, I would just love to see me happy.

I don't think I'm really loved by the upper spirit enough to love on me because if I was, then my bills would not be off, and I would have a car that works in my name, and I would have a nice place to stay that I own so that I could help others. That's really what I am good at: helping others smile, and I am not doing that anymore. I'm sad all the time because I can't help anymore with anything because I can't help myself. I have no money to buy anything I need. I can't afford to want anything.