This fundraiser now has an urgent need to cover 3,000 by the end of the month of October so Olive can avoid becoming houseless. This money will cover relocating; first months rent + security deposit as I have received very little work this month and lacking agency to resolve these issues on my own.

I am a transwoman and a survivor of sexual abuse and I have been rendered disabled by C-PTSD and complications from C-PTSD (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). I am not publishing the extent of my story of survival publicly, but feel free to reach out to me on Instagram @hormonedealer if you need details about the abuse I am healing from.

I'm seeking resources and support to help me create a comprehensive care plan to transition my life to a place of safety where I can seriously focus on healing the impacts of abuse and trauma in my life.

I need to cover my basic living expenses while I focus on intensive rehabilitation.

I have previously been able to access EMDR thanks to the support of my community. EMDR was fundamental in helping me cope with triggers, but over time, my symptoms exacerbated by my work have left me with a lot of recovery work I still need to do to get to a place of personal independence.

I am still learning all the time the countless ways C-PTSD and trauma have impacted my life, my subconscious, my sense of self, my relationships and friendships, and my ability to survive. I am humbly asking for help getting out of an abusive situation and actualizing a path towards sustainable, healthy living in recovery.

Beyond donations, I am asking for help in the following ways:

Encourage me to participate in healthy modalities of coping that structurally look like self-love and not self-harm. I love yoga, meditation, and exercise and would love to do it with others to stay accountable.

Invite me out to things. Get me out of the house, get me out of my head. Help me learn that connection can be safe and that isolating myself isn't the only way to feel protected.

Help me do the necessary paperwork, make the necessary calls, navigate the necessary bureaucracy to access healthcare in New York.

Advocate for my strengths, consider me for opportunities where they can flourish.

Advocate for my boundaries and help me understand where and how to implement them in healthy ways.

Advocate for me in spaces where I am not understood.

Understand I need to relearn many things you may consider basic. Call it out if I am talking down to myself. Check on me to make sure I am eating and sleeping. Offer to help with tasks I am struggling with.

Encourage me to feel my emotions instead of intellectualizing them. Help me tolerate the distress associated with letting these feelings out. Take me to a rage room. Hold me while I cry. Participate in rituals of letting go with me.

Allow me a fresh start. Know that I'm a survivor of immense harm and my growth has been stunted by abuse and trauma. Help me understand what I am missing and where I can continue growing. Hold me accountable. Give me grace, patience, and forgiveness because I am doing the very best that I can.