Support Nicole's Family in Their Healing Journey

Hello, my name is Nicole, and I’m reaching out to share my story and ask for your support. I am a mother of two incredible children who have faced unimaginable challenges. My son, who is 27, is a transgender man (F to M), and my daughter is 18. Our lives took a drastic turn in 2014 when my (now ex) husband was arrested for online child pornography.

In 2018, my son began recalling traumatic memories, and in 2019, my daughter did too. It was devastating to learn that their father had mentally, physically, and sexually abused and trafficked them for most of their childhood. Since then, both of my children have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, depression, and DID. Their mental health struggles have been intense, but they are brave and resilient.

Despite receiving mental health services through COPA, we’ve encountered significant challenges in getting the appropriate care they need. We’re currently in the process of switching Clinical Coordinators, which we hope will lead to better and more comprehensive support. This change should also allow me to work more frequently without worrying about leaving them alone.

Last year, my son got a job as a dishwasher, which he loved and was excellent at. It significantly improved his mental health, but unfortunately, his PTSD symptoms flared up, causing trauma seizures and catatonic behavior at work. He had to quit last month, which was a huge setback for him. We’re hopeful that starting a new medication will help him manage his anxiety and enable him to work again, even if it’s from home.

My daughter has also had her share of ups and downs. We decided she should pursue her GED instead of finishing high school. Despite the trauma she endured, she is diligently working towards her GED. Her mental health struggles have made it difficult for her to function in many ways, but with continued therapeutic services, we believe she can achieve her goals. Recently, she started Spravato treatments, and we are hopeful this will aid her in healing from her depression, PTSD, and physical discomfort.

Professionally, I have over 15 years of experience as a script supervisor in the film industry. However, due to COVID, industry strikes, and my children’s mental health needs, I have been unable to work consistently. The last significant work I had was in February last year, and I have exhausted my unemployment benefits. The ongoing situation has also impacted my own mental and physical health.

To bring in some income, I’ve recently started working through a day labor service and have completed two shifts so far. I am also working with an organization that empowers women and helps them find employment. They have assisted me in updating my resume, which has led to more job callbacks. Additionally, with film industry negotiations now concluded, I am optimistic about returning to my field soon.

I cannot tell you how many places I have contacted looking for resources to help my children individually as well as places to help us as a family. I was not prepared for the level of assistance that they have needed and the length of time that they need to heal. This is not their fault. They were harmed repeatedly by their father while I was trying to work to create a home for us. I had no idea the monster I was married to. Resources are scarce for people who've suffered trauma at the hands of another and need longer term assistance.

Despite our efforts, we are facing the threat of eviction from our rental home. Being homeless would put us at significant risk, given my children’s trauma-related seizures and flashbacks. Many shelters and assistance programs are not equipped to support our specific needs, especially with my son being transgender and both children being over 18. It’s crucial for their well-being that we stay together. We would also like to use a therapist that is trained in DID, but they do not take insurance. We're hoping to use some of the funds for that as well.

We humbly ask for your support to help us stay in our home and continue our healing journey. Any contribution, no matter how small, would make a tremendous difference in our lives. Thank you for taking the time to read our story and for any support you can provide. Please take a moment to also share so others can potentially help.