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Need support for life changing surgery

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Hey yall here is my story!

Throughout my life, I’ve felt different—unique in ways that often left me on the outskirts. I was the quiet one, frequently battling illness and depression. In 2020, my health took a dramatic downturn. Multiple systems in my body failed, disrupting every aspect of my life—friendships, work, mental health, education, and beyond.
Over the past five years, I’ve devoted myself to solving my complex medical challenges. I now carry nearly ten different medical diagnoses and several psychiatric conditions. Despite these challenges, I’ve fought tirelessly to regain control. For the last two years, I’ve been involved with five hours a week to therapy, worked with seven plus medical doctors, and endured countless job losses due to health-related attendance issues. Though my employers often recognized my exceptional work, the modern workplace rarely accommodates the unpredictable nature of chronic illness. (Thankfully my current job I’ve had for 2.5 years supports me in this journey but took a few hard lessons and learning effective communication) 
Among the many diagnoses I face, one of the most debilitating is PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). This condition wreaks havoc on my body and mind, leaving me unrecognizable for 7–10 days each month. These episodes trigger dissociation, emotional instability, and physical symptoms that exacerbate all my underlying health conditions. Over the past two years, I’ve been hospitalized six times, visited the ER over 25 times, and had many close calls where I narrowly avoided further hospitalizations.
Despite trying over 20 different medications and a variety of holistic treatments—including Western, Chinese, and Ayurvedic approaches—nothing has fully resolved the symptoms. While I’ve made small strides in managing my conditions, PMDD continues to be a relentless disruptor. For part of each month, I can feel stable and almost normal, only to have everything undone by a hormonal storm that impacts my physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
I’ve worked tirelessly to hide the toll this has taken on me. On my good days, I appear perfectly healthy, masking the nausea, dizziness, and brain fog that often cripples me. (Every hormone cycle flares my bladder, histamines, nervous system, gi track and all connective tissue) I’ve kept this hidden from most people, sharing the truth only with close friends, family, and my medical team.
After years of advocacy, countless hours of therapy, and relentless determination, I’ve finally found hope. I’ve been approved for a total hysterectomy, a rare opportunity for someone my age. Many woman suffer 10 plus years due to denial of treatment and 10% of woman take their own life due to insufficient treatment. The surgery is scheduled for April 21. While it’s a serious procedure—especially with a genetic condition that slows my healing—it offers the potential to minimize up to 80% of my physical health flares and reduce my monthly psychiatric crises to be non-existent moving forward.
The past three months have been some of the hardest yet, with emergency surgery, six ER visits, and the worst PMDD episodes I’ve ever experienced. But I managed to persevere. Coming out of these challenges, I feel stronger, more determined, and hopeful for the first time in years.
I’m sharing my story because it’s one of resilience and hope, but also to shed light on the realities of living with chronic illness and mental health challenges. Society often overlooks these struggles, leaving those affected to suffer in silence. This surgery represents a turning point in my life—a chance to reduce my barriers and build a sustainable future.
While I know my journey doesn’t end here—there will still be flares, pain, anxiety, and moments of struggle—I finally see a path forward. I am a fighter, and I am ready to embrace the opportunities this surgery will provide. I share all this to say I need help for covering the cost of surgery. I will be out of work for 2-3 months and I need communal support, both financially and help with meals and dog care. As time gets closer I will put together a more organized plan. I appreciate you taking time to read my story and offer support even if it is just a prayer. This year will be the most transformative year of my life. It will not be easy but it will be worth it!
Blessings, Wolf 


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    Organizer

    Mary O'Hair
    Organizer
    Asheville, NC

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