For the past month, I have been struggling with overwhelming pain and fatigue that has left me unable to leave my house. This exhaustion is not just physical—it's deeply emotional, rooted in a lifetime of feeling unworthy and never truly loved unconditionally. Even when I am completely depleted, I find it hard to allow myself to rest. For nearly seven years, I have been working to reconnect with my body, but the effects of early childhood trauma have left me feeling dissociated and disconnected. Most days, I can only feel fear and sadness, and my memories of childhood are mostly blank.

About a year ago, I began attending Energy Tune meetings online with Sasha Cobra, who teaches about the healing power of sexuality and offers energy work to help release emotional trauma stored in the body. Despite a year of regular practice, I still struggle to let go and surrender to the healing process. Recently, I started to feel a thick wall around my neck, jaw, and chest—a wall built from the trauma of being hospitalized as a child and feeling powerless and afraid ( I have eaten a poisonous mushroom on a playground. I only remeber panic, drinking purple water mix to make my throw up, and then blank). What I know from the stories of my mom, I was stripped naked, held down to the hospital bed by 5 doctors, and when I finally gave up, medical instruments were inserted into my mouth and rectum to cleanse my gastrointestinal tract. When I opened my eye they were totally red from screaming. I feel I still cary this shock and fear of death on my body since then no matter what I do and where I am.

This experience left me disconnected from my body, especially in moments of intimacy, and I have spent years searching for a way to heal.

I now have hope that attending the Seed of Transformation workshop in Tulum, Mexico, from November 14-16, 2025, will help me break through these barriers. The workshop is designed to help participants heal and reconnect with their natural flow of energy, and I believe that being there in person with Sasha and others who share similar stories will allow me to finally let go of the pain and open my heart again. I am raising funds to cover the cost of the workshop and travel expenses, so I can take this important step toward healing, self-love, and a renewed sense of joy in life.

Here is the link for the retreat and to learn more about Sasha:

https://www.sashacobra.com/seed