Support My Healing Journey at Maui Recovery

Many of you know me — and many of you know I’ve struggled with my mental health for a long time. I live with complex PTSD (CPTSD), borderline personality disorder (BPD), anxiety, and depression. My years of struggling with alcohol have been a symptom of my mental illness — not the root cause, but a way I tried to survive when everything felt unmanageable.

After a recent crisis, I reached a breaking point. I knew I needed serious, sustained help — not just to treat the symptoms, but to finally begin healing the pain underneath them.

That’s what brought me to Maui Recovery in Lahaina. I know it might look like I’m on a tropical vacation — but I’m not here for peace and quiet. I’m here doing the hardest, most necessary work of my life.

I chose Maui Recovery because it combines evidence-based clinical treatment with holistic healing. My days are filled with therapy, mindfulness, somatic work, and nature immersion — practices that are helping me reconnect with myself in ways I never thought possible.

I’ve also begun a spiritual path through the philosophy and practice of Buddhism. It’s teaching me to move through suffering with compassion, instead of shame — and to begin creating a life grounded in presence, clarity, and peace.

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My Story

I was first diagnosed with ADHD at four years old. Even as a kid, I knew I experienced the world differently — with more intensity, more sensitivity, and more pain. As I got older, more diagnoses followed: complex PTSD, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, and depression.

I experienced trauma at a young age that shaped the way I saw myself and the world. It left me feeling unsafe in my own body — and for years, I carried that pain in silence. My borderline personality disorder developed as a response to those wounds — not because I’m broken, but because I was trying to survive without the safety and care I needed.

I’ve always been a deeply passionate person. I feel everything intensely. I’ve given so much of my heart to others, believing that if I just loved hard enough, that love would come back to me. But the truth is — I didn’t know how to love myself. I was cruel to myself. I judged, rejected, and punished myself in ways no one else ever did.

And under all of that was a constant, aching fear of being abandoned — of not being enough to keep people close, of being too much to stay loved. That fear shaped how I showed up in relationships, how I tried to hold on, and how I slowly lost myself in the process.

Now, for the first time, I’m ready to change that.

I’m ready to learn how to love myself.

To finally see that I’m worthy of the same love, care, and compassion I’ve spent my whole life giving to others.

There’s so much more to my story than I can fully explain here — layers of trauma that shaped me long before I had words for them. Much of my pain is rooted in early experiences that disrupted my ability to feel safe, loved, or emotionally stable. I’m not sharing every detail, because some of it is still too raw. But I’ve carried this pain for a long time. And now, for the first time, I’m in a place where I can begin to let it go — I just need the support to stay here and keep doing the work.

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Why I’m Asking for Help

I’ve already spent $4,500 out of pocket to be here, and it was every last dollar I had to my name.

And the truth is: I’ve never asked for financial help in my life.

But now, I need to.

My insurance is about to run out, and I’ll need to pay for COBRA coverage to stay in treatment. I’ll also need transitional housing after I leave — and I don’t have a backup plan.

My starting goal is $5,000.

This will help cover the immediate costs of continued care, insurance, and a safe place to land after treatment.

The truth is, long-term healing takes time and ongoing support. Anything raised beyond this goal will go directly toward helping me stay stable and supported as I rebuild my life.

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Why It Matters

If you’ve seen me struggle and wondered how to help — this is how.

This campaign is a tangible way to support my healing, safety, and long-term recovery. My loved ones have watched me suffer for years — and many haven’t known how to reach me. Your support now gives me the chance to build something better.

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How You Can Help

Recovery is long, humbling, and hard. But I’m showing up — every single day. Your donation, your share, your words — they truly make a difference.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. If you choose to give, thank you even more. And if you share this with someone else who can help — you’re part of this story too.

I’ll keep posting updates along the way — with honesty, gratitude, and heart.

I’m choosing healing — even when it’s hard, even when it hurts.

And I’m learning that healing doesn’t mean becoming someone new.

It means finally coming home to myself.