Where do I start? I’m not used to asking of others, but I’ve always been the one on the giving end.

Thirteen years ago, I was placed on disability for various medical issues, including a panic/anxiety disorder. At that time, I was pursuing my dream of Anthropology in college and was working towards the long road of obtaining a PhD, but that was cut short due to medical issues.

In 2018, I underwent a cervical laminectomy of C3-C7 due to deterioration in my spine that was causing the inside of the vertebrae to cut into my spinal cord. This led to many limitations due to the surgery changing the form and function of the muscles in my neck.

2020 came around, and that brought with it Covid, pulmonary embolisms, and a stroke in my parietal/occipital lobe. Since then, my physical issues have gotten worse. I’ve been diagnosed with small fiber neuropathy that leads to intense pain, loss of feeling in many parts of my body, and some very unsettling sensations. Spinal deterioration and foraminal narrowing basically mean that the nerves coming out of my spine into the rest of my body are slowly being cut off; being in a wheelchair is only a matter of time at this point, and I’m only 48.

I’ve long thought about content creation online. Gaming has become a passion over the last several years as a means of managing my pain. It gives me something to focus on other than the hurting or constantly thinking about how little I’m able to do compared to what I once was able to. When your child laughs at you for “walking funny,” or you have to take breaks in getting dressed to allow the pain to subside, it’s real easy to spiral into depression.

I, like so many others, was DOGE’d this year in that I was informed that I had been overpaid in my benefits, and I was being penalized about 1/3 of my total for the next three years (and no, I didn’t vote for him).

The dilemma is that I need a system capable of running games, video editing, and being able to stream content. My current system is almost a decade old and incapable of what is needed of it. I spend a lot of time being stuck sitting, and I would like to do something productive while keeping my mind off of the pain.