Help Claire O'Brien Live Her Final Months in Comfort

Dear Friends, Family, and Kind Strangers,

I’m reaching out with a heavy heart to ask for your help. My beautiful, brilliant, funny, generous, devout, irrepressibly joyful, elegant, and, yes, mischievous mother is in the final stages of her battle with Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD). She’s currently in a memory care facility in Northern Virginia, where her condition has progressed to the point where she can no longer walk or speak. Yet, even in her silence, her blue eyes still shine with a spark that I know is her – she’s still in there.

This is the same woman who, until dementia stole her life’s vibrancy, was an avid adventurer. She’s the one who scaled the 13,000- and 14,000-foot peaks of Colorado, who spent her childhood exploring the canyons of Los Alamos, and who reveled in the great outdoors – hiking, biking, running, skiing, and climbing. She is the same woman who raced across New Mexico from NMSU to her mother’s house, proudly announcing, “I passed everyone in sight!” (to which my grandmother’s joyful response was always, “Wonderful!”).

But now, my vibrant, passionate mother needs help in a way I never imagined. The funds from the sale of their home are gone, my savings are exhausted, my credit cards maxed out, and I’ve had to part with irreplaceable family treasures. I’m asking for your help because I am simply out of resources.

What We Need:

Three months of private-pay facility costs: My mother’s current care facility is where she’s comfortable, with supportive hospice care in place. I want to ensure that she can remain here, without being moved, for her final months.

Travel expenses for my sister: I need help covering the costs to fly my sister from rural Illinois to Northern Virginia so she can say her goodbyes and be with our mother during this incredibly emotional time.

Medicaid assistance: I made mistakes while applying for Medicaid, and I need to hire a navigator to help with a time-sensitive appeal. This will help us get the financial assistance needed to cover long-term care costs, and we’re racing against time.

Unpaid medical co-pays: The mountain of medical bills is overwhelming. The sheer volume of unpaid co-pays has become too much to handle, and I’ve had to stop even opening the bills.

Cremation expenses: My mother’s wishes are clear, and I want to ensure she has a peaceful and dignified farewell. I’m seeking help for her cremation expenses.

Help for me: I can’t do this alone anymore. I need support to navigate the mountain of tasks still ahead – from the emotional toll to the practical logistics. I am overwhelmed and truly need help with this process.

Since I found my parents in 2021 – nearly skin and bones, living in squalor with rotten food in the fridge, their house in disrepair, and their cars wrecked – my life has been an unrelenting struggle to get them the care they need, clear their house, sell it, move them across the country, and deal with an overwhelming financial mess. In addition to caring for my mother, I also had to make sure my father was cared for when he ended up in the ER with severe, untreated diabetes. I could never have done any of this without the incredible support of family and friends – my Uncle, his partner, my parents’ neighbors, and even my late husband’s family – but now, we are at the end of this road.

I’ve hit a breaking point. I am physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. I am starting to have nightmares again, the kind where I beg God to put me in a coma so someone else can carry this burden. I cannot keep doing this alone. I cannot carry one more phone call, one more email, one more form, or one more overwhelming task. I’m asking for your help, and I truly don’t know where else to turn.

If you can, please help me give my mother a peaceful, dignified end to her life. Your donations will allow me to continue caring for her in these last months and handle the financial burdens that have become too much to bear. I appreciate every single dollar, every share, every prayer. Your kindness and support mean the world to us.

Thank you,

Moriah