Support Melissa Through Major Surgery

Almost ten years ago, our dear friend Melissa found what seemed like a swollen lymph node in her neck. She eventually discovered that it was not a swollen lymph node at all but rather an extremely rare tumor called a vagal paraganglioma.

Some of these tumors grow, some stay the same, and some shrink. While they sometimes have a genetic component, Melissa's was determined not to be genetic through genetic testing. It was simply random bad luck. Because these tumors are on the vagus nerve and are highly risky to take out, her doctors initially advised simply watching it. Unfortunately, hers grew. Now that it has grown to about the size of a lime and is affecting the function of her vocal chords, it needs to come out.

The problem is that taking it out is not so easy.

Very few surgeons know how to remove vagal paragangliomas without significant adverse effects to the patient. After years of research and even a fruitless trip to a specialist in Nashville (even he wasn't completely comfortable with her case), she was able to find a team of doctors in New Jersey, led by neurosurgeon Dr. James Liu, willing to do it. Dr. Liu developed a surgical technique that, while still risky, reduces the risk of harm. Recently, after many months of red tape, phone calls, forms and frustrations, she finally got approval from her insurance. Her surgery is slated for March 22nd.

Like you, I am a friend of Melissa's. (Hi, I'm Kate). I care very deeply about her wellbeing. While it looks like her surgery, which will take five physicians, will be covered by insurance, there are many, many costs that won't be. I am putting together this GoFundMe to help her meet some of those other costs so that she can focus on her recovery.

Melissa will need to be in New Jersey for at least three weeks for the surgery and other related care. If everything goes perfectly, she will spend seven days in the hospital, then she will need to stick around for follow-up care before going home. (If there are complications, it's possible that she will be in the hospital for over a month.)

Several friends have volunteered to support her in NJ during this vulnerable time. She plans to rent an Airbnb and a car and purchase plane tickets for her temporary advocates/caregivers. (Just for consultations, she has already spent close to $2,000 for travel expenses.) Melissa will also need to take three months off from work. The Colorado Family Medical Leave Insurance (FAMLI) will cover a portion of her paycheck, but she will still be relying on savings. It's possible she may need more time off of work to recover if complications arise.

Even if things go ideally, Melissa will also need a lot of supporting care. She will likely need to travel to either Denver or Grand Junction every few months for injections into her vocal chords. She may have swallow deficits and may need speech therapy. Some patients see impacts to the functionality of their arm on the surgical side, and she might need physical therapy. Things like acupuncture, naturopathic care, and massage are of course not covered by insurance. There are a lot of risks and unknowns.

It took some convincing for me to persuade Melissa to let me do a GoFundMe for her. She is used to being the one caring for others. It's an edge for her (for many of us!) to receive support. She wants you to know that there is no pressure here. There are many ways to support her, she says. A caring note, prayers, holding her in your heart, or lighting a candle during the surgery, for example, are all meaningful contributions.

If you do feel moved to offer a financial contribution, it can be in any amount. It was my idea to set the goal at $15,000 because I know people have very different financial means and some of you might have more to share. Even just from the hard costs that we already know will be associated with this ordeal, we were counting a minimum of $10K and I wanted her to have some assurance for all of the unknowns and auxiliary care that won't be covered.

My hope in putting together this page is that we can raise enough money so that Melissa doesn't feel the press of financial considerations in her recovery. That's practical but it's also deeper than that. She will have a whole lot to face on all levels of her being, and I hope that financial stress and the prospect of completely depleting her emergency savings is not one of them.

However you support our dear friend, I invite you to join me in some wishes for Melissa: May she have all the support and care she could possibly want. May her surgery go as perfectly as it could possibly go. May she focus completely and tenderly on her recovery so that this world can continue to benefit from her full, wonderful, vibrant, wise, caring, resilient, hilarious self. And may she know how much she is loved every step of the way.

Two more things: Feel free to share this page and/or to leave encouraging words!