Support Matthew's Move to Safety and Dignity

Hi, my name is Gabi, and I’m writing this for my fiancé, Matthew. I am accepting donations on his behalf because Social Security will penalize him. He is someone who has survived more than most and still manages to hold onto his kindness, his empathy, and his hope. I’ve watched someone I love slowly deteriorate, mentally and physically, not because he gave up, but because he’s been placed in impossible circumstances over and over again.

Matthew is a disabled trans man living in a deeply unsupportive Pentecostal household in the Bronx, where he is denied the dignity of being seen, named, or acknowledged for who he is. Everyday, he is erased in conversations. Despite the emotional harm he faces daily, he continues to be the one his family turns to whenever they need something. But when he needs anything, support, care, or even simple recognition, he’s met with silence. Being isolated due to his disabilities, he has no friends, no one he can lean on, and no local support at all. I am the only one he has, and I am doing all I can, but I can’t do it alone.

Before this, Matthew survived a fifteen-year abusive relationship with a much older woman who began grooming him when he was just seventeen. That relationship left him with complex PTSD and lasting trauma. He has tried for years to get out of his current environment, applying to every assistance program available, but being on SSI and living in poverty means he’s never had the resources to leave. He’s trapped physically, financially, and emotionally.

His health is in steady decline. He is a brain tumor survivor, with lingering effects that include memory impairment, pituitary dysfunction, and chronic hormone imbalances. He suffers from idiopathic intracranial hypertension, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) , disc extrusion, and severe spinal pain. Standing for extended periods, cooking, and doing laundry have become very difficult. Because there is no one there to help him, he relies on grocery delivery, which cuts deeply into his fixed income. ER visits are frequent, and he faces them alone.

His family’s mental illness and hostility only make things worse. His mother and sister both suffer from untreated schizophrenia and are currently in active psychosis. They have shown up at night unannounced and called him with paranoid delusions. One of his siblings, who lives with him, is transphobic and refuses to use his name or pronouns. Another sibling has openly voted for policies that target Matthew’s rights, and both have conspired to turn their mother further against him. The stress of it all is constant, overwhelming, and eroding what little strength he has left.

Two years ago, his alcoholic father was in the ICU, and Matthew was made his medical proxy. The pressure of navigating the healthcare system alone, along with the physical and emotional toll, contributed to a spinal injury from which he has yet to recover. And yet, even as he suffers, his family still turns to him to hold everything together, to be the one who steps up when emergencies arise.

I’ve watched this for six years now. I’ve seen his mental and physical health unravel under the weight of trauma, abandonment, toxic and transphobic family dynamics. And even with all of this going on, Matthew worked hard to earn his GED and is now enrolled in online college, maintaining a 4.0 GPA. He supported me through my own chronic illness, helping me get surgery for endometriosis when I had nowhere else to turn. He shows up for the people he loves, even when no one shows up for him.

With this current administration's relentless assault on trans rights, it's imperative that Matthew is rescued from his current living environment. I want to bring him to Poughkeepsie, where I live. It's a quiet, affirming place where he can finally be safe. A place where he will be loved, supported, and free to exist without constant fear and invalidation. It is only a couple of hours from the Bronx, but for Matthew, it could be life saving.

I wish I could do this on my own, but I can’t. I’m currently unemployed, still recovering from major surgery, and assisting my father who is in recent cancer remission. He and I have reached out to LGBT organizations and mutual aid groups and were provided with an initial start of packing supplies.

We’re asking for help to raise funds to relocate Matthew from NYC to upstate NY. We are trying to raise $3000 to hire a moving company and for additional packing materials. For Matthew's comfort and safety we are hoping to use one of the LGBT moving companies such as Silver Fox Queer Movers or Transdimensional Moving Corp. Every donation, every share, every act of kindness makes a difference.

If you believe in second chances, in dignity, in showing up for people who have no one else, please consider helping. Matthew has survived so much. Now he deserves the chance to finally live.

Any donations that exceed what we need for Matthew's relocation will be donated to organizations and charities supporting trans people.